Change … Unloading my Thoughts

Change … Unloading my Thoughts


Why do I struggle so much with change? Arjun has just started crawling and its made me so irrational.  I always deal with change this way but struggling more so with this! 

It’s normal for a baby to grow and develop and start reaching their milestones. I am proud, super proud. But why do I also feel so sad?! Why do I feel like I’m already losing him?  He’s 8 months! Get a grip woman!  I wish he’d slow down!
The whole last 8 months feels like one big fat blur! I want to rewind back to when my baby was only relying on me. Now he’s on the move, I feel like that’s gone. I feel like I’ve lost something. I want him to reach out to ME when he wants something.  I’m being irrational I know. But I can’t seem to snap out of it!

I don’t understand why my brain works in such a way. I want to celebrate this as I am ecstatic that he’s reached such a huge milestone! But why do I also see it as the beginning of me losing my precious little boy? It sounds crazy ..! I cried when he crawled properly … Not only because I was happy but because I also felt sad. How is he growing so quick? Why does it feel like I’m unable to grasp how quick time is flying? It seems to be going at a faster rate than normal and at a faster rate than I’m able to deal with. Wish I could hit the pause button. Just so I could make the most of each of his little phases.
Everyone tells me that now he’s going to change even faster. It makes me sad. It makes me feel panicked. I just want everything to move in slow mo!
This weekend he’s changed more than I’ve ever noticed in such a short space of time. He’s become so cheeky, he’s crawling, he’s talking more and he’s trying to stand. How did that all happen over night? It’s too much too quick for me!! I want to embrace it but I can’t seem to “let go” and just live in the moment. I have a habit of doing this.
He’ll always be my little prince!
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