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Saajan’s Third Birthday Party – Peppa Pig x Baby Shark

Celebrating our boys is something that we don’t hold back on – for Saajan, we celebrate even harder as he fought for his life at such a tender age and we are forever grateful that he is with us today. As always, I wanted something personal to my guy, he loves Peppa Pig and also loves a little boogie to Baby Shark so it was a Peppa Pig x Baby Shark party! I turned to my trusted party planner – The Mini Maniacs and let her work her creative magic! It was a breath taking set up which came to life with the amazing flooring which made the entire set up absolutely magical!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lgw9b7doWag
The entertainment was also provided by the Mini Maniacs and as always they catered it to Saajan’s favourite things. His favourite song to dance to is Dame Tu Cosita and we were absolutely thrilled that he took his first couple of steps at his party to his favourite tune for everyone to witness and celebrate with us!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RvkhyHb5-9E
Saajan had a magical day! Suppliers: Styling and decor: The Mini Maniacs Balloons: Party Giant Cake: Rozay Cakes Backdrop: Print Station UK Entertainment: The Mini Maniacs 
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The Taj Bentota Resort & Spa Sri Lanka with Two Kids for February Half Term | Review

We had the most spectacular stay at the Taj Bentota Resort and Spa during the February half term. It was a much needed relaxing break from the chaos of our lives amidst EHCP and projects we have going on! Prior to leaving, I liaised with members of staff at the hotel via email to ensure our requirements were understood. They were really helpful and informative. On arrival, after a two hour drive from the airport, guests are presented with a fresh flower garland and welcome drink by warm welcoming faces. Check in was quick and easy. The hotel has lovely marble decor providing a cool and refreshing feel. We stayed in a Junior Suite (room 309) and were instantly wowed. It was by far one of our favourite hotel rooms and we enjoyed relaxing in the spacious and airy room. There was a good sized living area which the boys loved chilling in between swimming sessions and dinner times. The large bedroom comfortably fit a cot and a comfy king sized bed and also had a private balcony. The bathroom was a good size and the shower pressure was brilliant – perfect for washing my thick hair! My only qualm for the suite was the lack of storage space for the four of us but I was really pleased with the dresser and ample space for make up and toiletries! The bedroom had a cot and baby bath tub ready for our arrival. There were plenty of plug socket points in the room. The huge balcony boasted a panoramic view of the beautiful sea and came equipped with two sunbeds and a sofa. Room service were always very thorough with cleaning and once we’d informed them of our preferred times for our daily clean and turndown service, it was always done on time. We celebrated our 8 year anniversary while away and were treated to a beautiful chocolate cake by the hotel. It was divine! There is a buffet restaurant, The Palms, at the hotel as well as several speciality restaurants however we only dined at the buffet restaurant for ease with the kids. Breakfast is also served here. The breakfast selection was impressive and the food quality was brilliant. From masala dosas, to hashbrowns to aloo Puri to Gobi paratha to donuts and fruit … There is so so much to choose from! On holiday I usually end up overindulging but this holiday as the quality was so so good, I found I’d eat less but enjoy it so much more. Dinner at The Palms included such a great high quality variety. It wasn’t packed with non nutritious food like chips, pizza and pasta everyday. Instead we got to try many new dishes such as the Sri Lankan cuisine The boys are a whole variety of food while also being treated to their home comforts. The most delicious pudding for me was the hot chocolate dessert and the chocolate mousse – yum! As well as the property itself being beautiful, it’s really important to note that several staff members made our stay really special. Head Chef, Dalip, couldn’t do enough to make our stay more perfect. He’d ask us daily what our children would like to eat and he took the stress out of meal times being a faff. He lovingly prepared them fresh food be it paratha or cheese dosa and meal times became like a home away from home. We were also treated to some spectacular dishes by Dalip including aloo papri chaat, fresh gajjar Ka halva and chilli paneer – they were absolutely delicious! There were a few members of staff who seemed less than interested in their jobs and there was one incident where I requested a cup of tea three times and still didn’t receive it however the hospitality of the others mentioned more than made up for it! It was by far one of our best holidays because there wasn’t much fuss food wise with the boys and it also helped that Saajan’s meal times have massively improved! The swimming pool area was really pleasant. There is a large pool accompanied by a kids splash pool. Given we went during half term, I expected it to be very crowded but it didn’t feel too packed. Sampath ensured we had sunbeds daily and really took care of us – a true gem! Chamara was also really friendly and accommodating. There was a really great balance of poolside entertainment and it wasn’t too intrusive – for example during the aqua aerobics class, there was no loud music blaring making it peaceful for those that were relaxing. Menaka was always a good laugh with hosting pool side entertainment. The poolside menu was impressive and catered well to vegetarians from falafel wraps, to veggie burgers to Greek salads and pizzas. It wasn’t always easy to get hold of a waiter but once ordered, the wait time wasn’t too long. Our favourite and most helpful waiter was Roshan. He was always so jolly and kind despite working in such hot conditions. Again, Dalip was great at accomodating the boys if there was something they fancied that wasn’t included on the menu. Bentota beach is really beautiful – miles of untouched sand however the sea is quite tough and the red flag is flying everyday due to a strong under current. There are no sunbeds at the beach by the Taj however you are able to hire them for a cost without an umbrella. The boys loved spending time at the beach building sandcastle. Preetam and I managed to sneak in a date night – the perks of having the grandparents and masi to hand! We enjoyed a beautiful meal at Malli’s which is situated a short walking distance from the hotel. After, we enjoyed drinks and pool at the Tease Bar at the hotel. There is not much to do in Bentota which was ok for us as we were after a relaxing holiday. A few of the outings we had included: • Temple with a huge Buddha statue. It was impressive and about a 10 minute journey by tuk tuk. • Turtle sanctuary which is a few kilometres walk along the beach. Arjun enjoyed this a lot. • Bentota market – it’s a few shops selling similar items. We didn’t purchase anything. • Bentota river boat cruise and saw a few crocs and held a baby crocodile. Our time at the Taj Bentota was most definitely one of our most relaxing holidays. The casual dress code, delicious food, not being over packed and the friendly staff who went over and beyond for us made it what it was! Disclosure: This is a collaboration post in exchange for a double upgrade however all views expressed are my own.
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Running away with my thoughts …

I haven’t really used this space to air my feelings in a while. It isn’t because I haven’t wanted to, it’s because I haven’t had the time to. Or I don’t have the words to really articulate how I’m feeling. Has anyone ever felt empty but full all at once? There is a part of me that fears judgement. I guess like most people? There’s a part of me that doesn’t want people to think my son’s life isn’t worth living because it absolutely is. There is a part of me that doesn’t like to share my struggles without offering a glimmer of hope – a silver lining. Recently, I’ve felt like I’m stuck in a bit of a funk. My brain has felt so foggy. I try and raise awareness on everything that Down’s syndrome IS NOT, through Saajan, through our family by giving a very real life account. There’s the parts that bring us sheer unimaginable joy and then there are some not so nice parts. But sometimes, just sometimes, I let the label get the better of me (please don’t judge me). Like all children, there will be hurdles. We’ve been through our fair share of challenging times with Arjun (many of which I’ve not chosen here to respect his privacy) but for some reason, with Saajan I panic that this is forever “because he has Down’s syndrome” and it takes them a little bit longer to learn things. Perhaps the fact that we are in the thick of his EHCP heightens my feelings. Experience has shown me though that nothing is forever though and reminding myself of that isn’t always easy. It reminds me of that feeling I had when Arjun was first born and I had PND and – I felt like those initial few months would be my life forever. I felt stuck. Recently, we’ve really struggled with Saajan at meal times. I’ve taken it to heart for some reason. I think it’s because I run away with my fears for the future as I described above. He fell in to a habit (admittedly our fault) of eating in front of the TV watching Peppa Pig – that’s not the part I had an issue with (though it REALLY grated on me that he refused to sit on a table with us), it was more that he’d tip his food out of the plate and eat that way (GROSS). If we tried to sit him at a table with us, he’d just swipe and throw the food on to the floor or worse, his plate. You can imagine how fun meal times are at ours! We’re a pretty regular family for the most part, but I’ve found it really really stressful at meal times and to be honest I have felt so guilty – I’d try and make meal times pleasant by having us all sat together once Preetam gets home from work but it would never go to plan. I felt like a complete and utter failure. I felt it was my fault, my fault that I’d been too distracted to set up his meal times properly from the start, my fault that Arjun would witness this behaviour daily and notice that Saajan was getting attention for it. I felt guilty that Preetam had a long day at work and would be welcomed by complete chaos. I felt guilty that Saajan can’t speak enough words to tell me WHY he behaves the way he does at meal times. I questioned my ability as a mother, as a wife. I’m so used to having the support of therapists – I’m so grateful for it. I remember our SALT saying to me “all you need to do is be a mum and love your son, we are here to help with the rest” – this was one of those behavioural things that I knew no therapist could tackle. This was something I needed to do. Lots of great things happened in January but I walked around with a heaviness, I struggled to sleep as I fell so deep in to thought about why our lives just couldn’t be simple – why we couldn’t go to a restaurant and just enjoy a meal as a family. I felt guilty dancing with the idea of taking Arjun out for meals alone – Arjun doesn’t like going anywhere without Saajan but equally I know he probably doesn’t like being around stressful situations either. It’s crazy how easy it is to allow any hurdles to overshadow all the amazing things about him – how he’s so friendly, a good sleeper and so determined. I quite quickly became a not so nice version of myself by becoming almost fixated on the hurdles. A few people suggested allowing Saajan to have the iPad during meal times – this is something that we’ve not done with Arjun during meal times (he has it outside of meal times) and I really didn’t want to introduce it for Saajan because it would mean doing the same for Arjun (we only have one iPad lol). Also I had two issues – one was him not sitting at a table and the second was him tipping his food out. Amidst my frustration fear and worry, came a force, a burning desire, a determination – I made it my absolute mission to address the situation face on. Down’s syndrome or no Down’s syndrome, he is MY BOY, and I know I can’t write him off because of a sh*tty label. He has shown me just how smart he is, and I KNOW he’s able given the right support. I KNEW I needed to put in the effort and commitment to making a change. I started by getting Arjun on board – Saajan’s biggest cheerleader. 1) We placed the kids Ikea table downstairs by the dining table 2) I understood that I’d need to use another distraction from the TV for him to sit put at a table, so I placed some of his favourite Peppa Pig toys at the table – a book, a magnetic board and a musical toy. 3) If he refuses his food, I let him toddle off but after a few days, he realised that he had to come back to the table to eat as it wasn’t going to follow him (silver linings of him not walking – I bet he’d carry his plate away if he was!) – I can tell when he’s just not in the mood yet to eat and I allow him to go and return 10/15 minutes later when he feels to. I know this isn’t ideal but for us, it’s progress. 4) I only fill his plate with half of his food incase he does throw it (reducing massively) and he knows that once it goes on the floor, Bruno gets it 5) I sit on a little chair next to the boys so I’m at their level (and to do damage control just incase) 6)      I do dinner time for the boys just before Preetam arrives so that it’s a little calmer on his return
Though I acknowledge we aren’t 100% there yet, we are making progress.  Last night, as Saajan sat with his Dada Ji and Dadi Ji at the dining table babbling away whilst eating, my eyes welled up – just a few weeks ago, it felt like our future was dreary just because of meal times, but now I see the light. Now I have hope that soon we will be able to go to a restaurant and just enjoy a family meal in peace. Arjun has been my guiding light – he’s been so patient, so good with sitting and eating and modelling to his brother how it’s done. I am so incredibly proud of him. My next steps are to continue doing what we’re doing for now and then slowly transition him back on to the dining table. I probably sounds really melodramatic but I know that anyone that has struggled with meal times will get it. I don’t want to start doing a happy dance just yet, it’s only been a couple of weeks, but I do feel a huge sense of achievement – it’s also a reminder of how much my babies can achieve with just my time alone reminding me to remain focused on what matters – them. So sometimes, even my judgement can get the better of me. And most of the time, Saajan is there to show me “I told you so”.
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Baby Brain Tea ‘n’ Talk Event 2019

After the success of the first Baby Brain Tea ‘n’ Talk event, we hosted another! Though I love party planning, taking centre stage is definitely not my forte! But after seeing just how much of an impact getting a group of different women in a room together had, I wanted to use this platform to do it again. We all walk very different paths in our lives, but somehow we all have something in common. Be it a feeling, be it an experience or be it a learning – we can all relate someway, somehow. And when we come together and talk, the energy we create is phenomenal – I received so many messages afterwards from women that hadn’t quite felt themselves for a while, sharing how elated and uplifted they felt after the event having met so many inspirational ladies. Thank you to Kiran of Koko Events who was once again my event planner and right hand woman – I drive her mad at the best of times, but I honestly never would have embarked on this journey of hosting events if it wasn’t for her! She’s more than just an event manager – she’s pushed me out of my comfort zone and always encourages me to step out of it that little bit more every time! Kiran takes the stress out of planning any event and her calm demeanor and focused approach means your event runs efficiently.
A big thank you to my mummy who helped me pack the goodie bags, to Dina, Bhav and Saijal and Harv for being my beautiful helpers on the day – so so grateful!
The event was sold out with over 2 months to go … I was so excited to have such a diverse range of women in one room – some single, some newly married, some with children, women with challenges that have thrashed misconceptions, women that have experienced loss of some kind recently, mother in laws, grandmothers, business women – so many different women all bringing something so unique to the table. There were talks, group activities, shopping opportunities, complimentary massages, mocktails and tea and nibbles!
I shared my journey over the last year since the last event – talking about some of the things that I choose NOT to share on social media. Delving in to the different realms of “life” and sharing what I’ve done well and what I could have done better. I spoke about wearing the many hats of being a woman – being a mother, a daughter, a daughter in law, a wife, an employee, a sister, a friend to name a few. I shared the unexpected life events that have occurred in our lives over the last couple of months and reflected on my growth over the last year. We were also joined by my psychotherapist and saviour, Emilia Brewer. Emilia is trained in reprogramming unhelpful behaviours and helped me to come out of my deepest darkest funk when Saajan was first born.  Emilia did a talk on challenging unhelpful thinking styles and really got the room thinking about the root cause of some of our behaviours – I know from the table I joined, we all had a very common root cause surprisingly! We also had a fun team building exercise – thank you to the following companies for gifting prizes for the winning team!: Sahib Jewels: a beautiful Indian statement set
Jewels by Karishma: one of my all time favourites, an evil eye bracelet
Something Flora: a voucher for beautiful handmade bows by the very talented Mandeep
Funjabi Tuition: brilliant Punjabi learning books by the very clever Kiran
Life with Petals: a lovely “Life with Me” book capturing precious memories over the years for our little ones.
This year, we wanted to enhance the experience for those that joined and introduced a handful of exhibitioners to come and showcase their products and services. Many of my most loved small businesses joined us including: Jewels by Karishma: if you follow me on instagram, you’ll often catch a glimpse of my most loved evil eye jewellery courtesy of Karishma! Sahib Jewels: Dal offers the most stunning statement Indian jewellery – each and everyone is so unique! Harmeet Kaur Bharya: The lovely Harmeet joined us to showcase her inspirational poetry work – my favourite product is definitely her positivity jars! Arbonne: The lovely Amrit was there to showcase Arbonne – botanically based personal care and nutrition products. I’ve just started the fizz sticks to improve my energy levels and will let you know how i get on! Brows & Beauty:  The talented Amarjit who ombre powdered my brows was there to showcase her magical work and offer patch tests and advice.
Glamtail: Tina and her team very kindly put together some gorgeous mocktails which were personalised with our brand new logo! Sparties: I knew many women had attended the event as an afternoon off and it was important for me to give something back – we had Sparties join us to offer every lady a complimentary shoulder massage.
Baby Brain Apparel:  my beloved leggings – you can still grab yourself a pair at BabyBrainApparel.com. Once they’re gone, they’re gone! Thank you to the lovely Bhav for managing the stall. We had brilliant feedback from the attendees and also exhibitors and were really pleased with the success of the enhanced experience! A huge thank you to the lovely Rav from Signature Soirees who kindly sponsored the beautiful floral backdrop – perfect for our group shots! And to Sabrina from Party Giant for the gorgeous branded balloons – they were brilliant for launching my new logo! Images were captured by Roop Khural |who ensured she understood exactly what I was after imagery wise prior to the event. We were very grateful to Harps Bains who donated her beautiful videography skills to capture highlights of the event! She worked so discretely and was so unintrusive and really understood my requirements beforehand.  You can find the trailer here:
https://youtu.be/-5dyHVkUH0w
Also a big thank you to Ritzy Music for donating the AV system. We had such lovely goodie bags again this year, full of gorgeous products by small independent businesses, a big thank you to all those that contributed!: Nikaza Couture: a voucher for beautiful Asian couture with a contemporary flair
Sugarbox Events: a delightful Oreo pyramid
Chin’s Kitchen: mouth watering spice infused shortbread (nankhatai) baked by the very talented Chintal
Petals & Bows London: beautiful hand painted positive quotes journals
L’oreal: bold lip glam
Jawandh Chana: positive inspirational quote greeting cards
Creative Tailor: beautiful hand painted candles
N&A Accessories: statement studs
Imagine Aloe: aloe gel sample
Jazelz: Mini sewing kits by kids fushion wear designer
Make Up By Jas: mini compact mirrors
Pam’s creations: the yummiest cake jars in three flavours – lemon drizzle, Victoria sponge and chocolate
Jas Sweet Treatz: scrummy Oreo cake pops
Something Flora: discount vouchers on beautiful handmade hair accessories and cultural frames
Beauty Divine Clinic: discount voucher on beauty treatments with Jasdeep – she comes armed with a wealth of knowledge on skincare! I was kindly gifted a red carpet facial just before the event – it really helped my angry skin!
Party Giant: a free balloon on all orders over £30
Baby Brain Memoirs: tote bags with our brand spanking new logo designed by Chocatee!
Thank you to all those involved – both companies, friends and family and all of those you that attended for making it such a successful event! x
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Our Kenyan Safari Adventure with Two Kids in the Masai Mara at the Elewana Sand River Camp | Review

Wow oh wow! I have no idea how I’m going to articulate the most incredible experience of our life to date, but I’m going to give it a go! For years, Preetam and I have wanted to go on a safari – we both love animals and are constantly intrigued by wildlife. Given both our parents origins are from Africa, it felt natural to want to visit. I’m not sure why it took us so long to take the plunge to go – perhaps the scaremongering stories you hear which actually aren’t stories just “what ifs” or it was the fear of not knowing how the boys would react. Would Arjun be terrified of live lions? Would Saajan understand to stay quiet or would he panic and make lots of noise? What if they got sick? My dad has visited many safari parks around the world and has become addicted and goes yearly since the last six years. When he suggested we just do it, something in me changed. Perhaps it’s watching Saajan over the last two years prove me wrong in so many ways. The sickness side – we’ve traveled around the world and we’ve been ok so I figured if we took all the precautions (yellow fever jab, typhoid jab and malaria tablets and mosquito deterrent) that should cover that fear. Where the boys were concerned, I reasoned with myself that it wasn’t for ME to decide how they’d react. That I couldn’t write them off before even trying! We decided to fly as soon as the summer holidays hit as July is perfect to watch migration. I’d spotted the Elewana Sand River lodges a while ago and had my heart set on staying there. I didn’t realise at the time that the camp is unfenced and that there are wild animals roaming free! I had a mini panic on finding out a few days before departure but knew that the camp wouldn’t be around if it wasn’t safe! Upon arriving in Kenya, we took a small plane to the air strip in Masai Mara. It’s about a 40 minute flight and the views as you jet over the Mara fill you with excitement as you catch the breathtaking view of wildebeest in large herds following each other like an amry of ants from the birds eye view. As we landed, we were instantly welcomed by three gorgeous giraffes walking elegantly in the distance. We were welcomed by Alex who warmly greeted us with cold towels, a selection of fresh juices and snacks as we took in our surroundings. I couldn’t believe we were actually there! Our safari adventure had began! We opted for an open vehicle making us as close to the animals as possible! We wanted nothing obscuring our view. Alex drove us through the Mara to the camp frequently stopping as we basked in the beauty of mother nature. The kids were so excited, I was so surprised by their reaction! Saajan eagerly waved at the Zebras who were a stone’s throw away from the vehicle and blew kisses at the wildebeest. I couldn’t believe it. I was consumed by emotion as I watched my littlest cub take everything in his stride – how did I ever doubt him? We arrived at the camp and were greeted with a warm smile by Frances – one of the general managers. Throughout our stay, after each game drive, we were greeted by the manager on duty. It gave a really warm feel to the camp. There didn’t seem to be a divide between management and staff – they all equally rely on each other for different expertise and it’s something that is really valued there. After a spot of lunch, we were shown to our tents. They oozed luxury with their gorgeous four poster bed, lounge area and a spacious bathroom. There was also a decking area right outside the bedroom which overlooked the Sand river. As mentioned, the camp is unfenced meaning that animals are free to roam so there is constant security to protect guests. Elewana Sand River is literally where luxury meets nature. Once the sun goes down, a ranger accompanies you on your walk to your room for safety. We were located in room 7 and it was quite a walk from the reception and dining area. Not going to pretend that that walk each night wasn’t possibly the most nerve wracking feeling ever! We were told that rangers often encounter lions and elephants roaming during the night (it’s ok for them to do so during the night while guests are asleep). Each day we were taken on a game drive at 6am and 4pm. Alex was our guide throughout and he literally became like family catering to our every need with such warmth. He would bring hot chocolate with us for our game drives knowing we loved a hot drink. The boys took to him so well and Arjun still misses him. He was so brilliant at answering all our questions and providing us with a story behind what was happening. For example on our first evening game drive, in the dark he spotted two lions, one lion appeared injured – he told us that they were probably brothers and that the uninjured lion would be looking for food for his brother knowing that his injured brother won’t survive without. The next morning, we witnessed the injured brother feasting on a fresh kill provided by his brother. It was fascinating. Alex was armed with a wealth of knowledge and you could truly see his love for the animals and his interest. The guides communicate with each other when there is a sighting which is particularly helpful in ensuring your time is maximised. Game drives typically last 2-3 hours however on our second day we were out in the morning for 7 hours! We had no idea how much time had passed as we were in awe of our sightings. The boys behaved beautifully and didn’t need the entertainment or distraction of anything else. Some of the wonderful things we got to see included: Watching the injured lion eat the kill close up (we were literally a few feet from him) and watching the vultures line up for when he was done and the stalks lining up behind the vultures for their turn! It was truly remarkable to witness the pecking order of the jungle Seeing crocodiles and hippos respecting each other in the Mara River Watching monkeys pinch our lunch at the camp! Watching a female cheetahs and her cubs – witnessing the mother scower for a kill and getting ready to pounce Watching two male lions offer their advances to a lioness by marking their scent. She responded with a loud roar to which Saajan roared back Hearing a lion roar in real life Watching a heard of elephants eat – fascinating to watch them use their trunks! Watching a lioness go for the kill – I’d always assumed it was easy, but unfortunately she failed as was outnumbered and got tired chasing the wildebeest We were fortunate enough to spot a giant cobra a few feet from us Watching young lions reunite with their mother – it was so playful and heartwarming and reminded me of how the boys are when we all get in to bed for snuggles Watching two young lions play like Simba and Nala A leopard guarding her kill with a panoramic view from the top of a tree Seeing a heard of wildebeest in their thousands migrate across the sand river Witnessing snarly hyenas As part of their all inclusive service, the camp also offers unlimited laundry which I wish I’d known before as I’d have packed a lot lighter! We packed several layers including costs, hats and scarves for the children as the mornings and evenings were pretty cold. Alex also provided us with shawls to keep us warm. We also chose to visit a local Masai tribe as part of our 3 night stay. It was so humbling to see how the tribe live and how content and happy they are. The food was top quality and they did a brilliant job at catering to our vegetarian needs. They even made my mum an eggless 60th birthday cake and the fun filled staff all joined together to perform a little dance to the famous Jambo song to mark the special occasion! We had breakfast in the bush twice and the experience was magical. Alex set up a table and chairs, crockery and cutlery and we had delicious hot food and tea and coffee while enjoying the backdrop of the Mara. They even had vegetarian sausages which is definitely a novelty when abroad! The entire time during our stay, it often felt like we were the only guests there despite the property operating at full capacity. As a party of 7, all our meals took place in a private tent and we had the same staff taking care of us each day – John and his co staff worked so hard to ensure we enjoyed our dining experiences. We truly were spoilt – we have the growing bellies to prove it!
The highlight of our trip (aside from the amazing sightings we witnessed) was definitely the sundowners experience. We were driven to a gorgeous spot on a hill where we were met by Frances and Jerrard – two of the general managers, a waiter and a ranger, Omari. Behind their warm faces was the glow of a beautiful campfire against the sunset – perfect for roasting marshmallows while sipping on hot chocolate after the beautiful finger food we got to indulge in! It was truly magical having a panoramic view of the Mara from a height while watching the sunset. My boys smashed every single fear I had and embracing the magical experience so so much. The very vivid sound of the lions calling for each other, hearing trees rustle as the elephants indulged in a midnight snack, monkeys jumping on our tent at night, the sound of a hippo waddling through the water a few meters away from our room and the sound of paw like footsteps on our decking – the only thing parting us – a tent wall, made our nights at Elewana Sand River so so magical and unforgettable. We got to experience each and every sound as though we were outside through the thin tent walls. As each night passed, our original fear turned to excitement as we tucked up in to our cosy warm beds (they place a hot water bottle at turn down so you’re warm!) anticipating what the night had in store for us! Waking up for our morning game drives and sometimes being greeted by a shy zebra or wildebeest through the bushes, or spotting a fresh elephant dung literally on our doorstep in the mornings was quite the experience and one we cannot wait to embark on again! A huge thank you to all the staff at the camp – to the rangers who kept us safe, Alex for being the most incredible guide, Frances, Faith and Jerrard for being so warm and welcoming and for all the restaurant staff and chef for going out of their way to keep us entertained while also keeping our bellies (over!) full! Thank you to all those that helped me plan the trip and gave and reassured me it would be fine! We had the holiday of a life time making memories watching the boys in awe of their surroundings – it was so different to our usual holidays!
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Disney Car’s Theme 5th Birthday Party

You’ll know by now, I love to throw a good ol’ kids birthday party – I feel like it’s a playground for me to be able to execute my creativity. However, with work, being a mummy, taking care of the house and blogging, time can be scarce. Our spare room is also bursting at the seams with party supplies that I’ve collected over the years so when I met Rav from Mini Maniacs and saw her work, I knew she was the absolute solution to my problem! I’m still able to execute my creativity with someone like minded while not having to worry about the logistics, storage AND I save time! Rav absolutely smashed it with Saajan’s 2nd space themed birthday party and I was super excited to be working with her again for Arjun’s 5th birthday – a birthday that I wanted to celebrate hard. A milestone birthday. It was an emotional one for me! We decided to go for a Disney Car’s theme party with a bit of a carnival/fun fair theme. We had 55 children attend and we wanted something for everyone. Rav and I discussed our visions and I let her run with it. I was definitely not disappointed! From the setting of the food buffet table (my favourite part of his parties!) to the gorgeous birthday cake table backdrop which included a gorgeous canvas print produced by Print Station which really bought the theme to life in our back garden. Rav also decorated the kids tables and chairs – something she puts so much love and attention to detail in. The kids tables and chairs were hired from Birthday Dreams. We also set up a crafts table – I ordered some car’s key ring crafts sets which I thought the children could attach to their school book bags as well as some car’s key magnet sets for the table from Baker Ross. Leanne from Mini Maniacs managed the crafts table ensuring everything ran smoothly. Mini Maniacs also provided entertainment towards the end of the party which the younger kids especially really enjoyed! As always, it was full of high energy and music!
We also had a face painter on the day – something we’ve not had since Arjun’s first birthday party! Shailee’s work is like nothing I’ve ever seen before – absolutely breathtaking! She’s so fast and her creations are breathtaking! I would highly recommend her for even grown up parties – her work is seriously impressive and she’s super friendly! We hired a rush slide and a kids bouncy castle from the Big Bounce Theory which was a big hit with the 5 year olds! I set up the kids construction site that we also had set up at Arjun’s 2nd birthday party. We also had go karts which were manned by the company, Kids n Karts. The children really enjoyed racing around and there was a medal ceremony at the end for the birthday boy.
Our favourite ice cream man, Andy from Snowball Ice Cream was also here providing the kids and adults alike with delicious ice cream throughout the day! I think he’s the only ice cream man who actually still only charges 99p for a 99! His fun personality is always a great hit too! The adults food was provided by one of my all-time favourite caterers – Sat Kul caterers whose food tastes like home cooked food. Regular catered food is always seeping with oil but I’ve always found their food to be of such a high standard and so tasty and not oily! They are the loveliest bunch of people who work with you to create the right menu for the occasion. We opted for an assortment of starters – spring rolls, aloo tikka and shollay, aloo papdri chaat and chilli paneer (obviously!). Our day was beautifully captured by Shiv from Shivisuals – he is such a down to earth guy who went out of his way to get Arjun warmed up to him before the event. We spoke about the layout of the day so he was aware of the set up beforehand. He captured the day so beautifully and we’ll definitely be using him again! Our super cool cake was provided by the fabulous Tranam at Rozay Cakes who never fails to impress with her cakes – both in design and taste! The party bags were Car’s ruck sacks that I found on eBay which contained a car shaped puzzle, a marker, a set of paints and paintbrushes, some snacks, a car shaped eraser and a slinky.
All in all, Arjun had a brilliant 5th birthday and we enjoyed it just as much! We had lovely feedback from all those that attended! A big thank you to those that helped on the day – forever grateful to our friends like family! Disclosure: The party décor was provided at cost price and entertainment was gifted by The Mini Maniacs, the face painting and photography was gifted in exchange for an honest and open blog post – all opinions stated above are my own.
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Saying Goodbye to Saajan’s Keyworker

Literally in tears as I write this as I hate change so much! I don’t blog as often as I’d like to (time!) but there are still precious moments that I like to capture in my little space to capture those memories to reflect back on.

When Saajan was born, I always feared that he’d never be loved. That he’d somehow be treated like he wasn’t really worthy. My biggest fear was how society would accept him.

When Saajan was moving up a room at nursery, naturally I was filled with fear and anxiety. He had formed such a close bond with Ashleigh, his first keyworker, who did such an amazing job at taking care of him.

When I first met Toni, his new keyworker, I knew he’d get on really well with her. She reminded me of my sister, Harv. Both crazy (love you both!)! Haha!

Since, Toni has been my right hand woman through the second stage of Saajan’s nursery life and his development over that time has been incredible.

From double checking the consistency of his water (he has to have it thickened due to aspiration), to learning how to communicate with him to patiently helping him overcome his sensory issues with sand to so passionately celebrating his success and so lovingly caring for him, there’s no area she’s left untouched and through it, we have watched their relationship evolve.

Toni and her deep love for Saajan has shown me I had nothing to fear about him ever being loved. He’s had a profound impact on her life just like she’s had on his and I know that alone will keep our bond going but I’m literally heartbreaking that she’s leaving.

When she handed me a gift for Saajan and I saw that she’d taken the time to get him a personalised beaker and cup, it reinforced just why I’m going to miss her – even in her absence she’s thought about his next milestone – to be able to drink from an open cup. The words she wrote in her card (which I’ve kept private) will be etched in my heart forever as a reminder that he is so so loved.

Toni, thank you for being more than just a keyworker, thank you for being Saajans biggest cheerleader, for loving him so deep and for your patience. We pray that every person that walks in to Saajans life could be even half of what you’ve been to him! I know you’ll touch so many more families and we wish you the best of luck in your new role!x

And just like that those fears and anxiety have come flooding back except with an even greater force as the gap between Saajan and his peers widens and I fear that his needs will be missed 🙁 

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Tommy’s #Splashathon2019 with Water Babies to #BreakTheSilence

Every year, 1 in 4 women lose a baby during pregnancy or birth. 10 babies are stillborn everyday in the UK and many deaths remain unexplained. These harrowing statistics strike a chord with me as we’ve had several family members, friends and fellow bloggers that have suffered with miscarriage and friends who have had to do the unimaginable and put their newborn babies to rest. Stillbirth is a topic that hits very close to home. Our first encounter of baby loss was just before Arjun was born. When we were about to become first time parents, we decided to join an NCT group. It was such an exciting time embarking on this new journey with others that shared the excitement. It felt like an extended family. Our worlds came crashing down when the first NCT babe, “Star Angel” was born sleeping. We couldn’t believe that something like this could happen when the pregnancy had been smooth sailing and all had appeared ok. The sheer shock and devastation that our NCT friends faced was heartbreaking to witness.  It had a profound impact on us all. We often think about how “Star Angel” would be running around with Arjun and the others. When Saajan was born, it was through another woman’s loss and through her kind heart, I was able to get through my own grief. I very clearly remember the first time Jai messaged me via Instagram, she offered me words of comfort during my lower days of motherhood when i was struggling to come terms with Saajan’s unexpected Down’s Syndrome diagnosis … What I didn’t know at the time was what a dark journey she’d been through herself. When I came to know it as time went on and we spoke more, my heart grew a very special place for Jai and her babies because it’s so rare to find people who are so giving and so pure even through their own grief. Jai had lost one of her unborn twin girls, Jazmine (who also happened to have Down’s Syndrome) and her grief could be felt through her words – a weight so heavy that even I could feel. The topic of stillbirth though still considered a taboo, has definitely become something that more and more people are comfortable to talk about thanks to charities such as Tommy’s. When we were growing up, I’d never heard of anyone having a stillbirth, we were almost sheltered from the reality of what could happen.   More recently, a fellow blogger, Kajal, has had to endure the heartbreak of losing her unborn baby girl, Aurelia India. The biggest question always remains – Why? Reading her gut wrenching posts and feeling the heartache in her messages brings to light the sorrow of baby loss – the shattering of dreams and the void our angels leave behind.                                                                                                                                                                                                I’ve followed fellow blogging husband and wife, Jen and Al, on their journey of recurrent miscarriage and it has been truly devastating. We are supporting Tommy’s and the Splashaton to honour of the above angel babies to all the other babies that gained their angel wings too soon.  The Tommy’s Splashathon in association with Water Babies, is a huge fundraising opportunity for Tommy’s and helps raise vital funds for research and to support families, like the above, that experience premature birth, miscarriage or baby loss.     Water Babies and Tommy’s are committed to reducing the above unacceptable statistics that devastate families up and down the country. So every mum, dad and baby taking part in the Tommy’s Splashathon will be helping other babies who aren’t so fortunate. Every pound raised will help save babies’ lives. The charity is hoping to raise £1 million this year to help fund Tommy’s research centre – the National Centre for Improving Maternity Care. Tommy’s knows that baby loss is preventable because people who are cared for in Tommy’s clinics are more likely to leave with healthy babies. More and more people are travelling long distances to be looked after in a Tommy’s centre. Where you live shouldn’t determine if your baby lives. You can help fund a new Tommy’s centre dedicated to improving maternity care across the UK. To join the Splashathon, those families that are already with Water Babies are invited to attend their local Water Babies class for a special fundraising, Peppa Pig pirate and princesses themed class – Saajan’s favourite character at the moment! The little ones will be encouraged to dress up, and there will be lots of water-based fun, including a challenge to swim a width.  For those of you that are not signed up with Water Babies, you can still support by donating at the Splashathon fundraising page and by getting involved with the Swimming style quiz from Water Babies!

“Let’s help save babies’ lives. Make a splash, donate some cash!”

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Living with a Father who has Down’s Syndrome

Since having Saajan, I’m given daily inspiration from the beautiful stories I see all over social media showing that people with Down’s Syndrome can lead pretty normal and fulfilling lives given the right support. When I saw the title “Man says father with Down’s Syndrome inspired him to be the best person possible” pop up on my news feed, my heart skipped a beat and I had to re-read it as I couldn’t quite believe it. It’s a known fact that most males with Down’s Syndrome are infertile. So to see a story written by a son of a father who happens to have Down’s Syndrome is pretty remarkable. More than the fact that Mr Issa was able to have children, the entire story is maybe the most heart-warming and inspirational story I’ve heard. Not only because Mr Issa (Sader’s father) went against all odds and fathered a son, but also because of how more alike than different he is to a strong family man who may not have Down’s Syndrome – where he has worked so hard to provide for his family and so that his son can have a sound education, where he has a solid relationship with family and friends and where he has a loving marriage where they ride the typical motions that most couples do! Mr Issa has achieved more in his life time than some living without an extra chromosome have. I reached out to Sader as I really wanted to hear more. Hearing Sader’s story about his father, Mr Issa, touched me so deeply and made me realise the future is as much Saajan’s as it is anyone elses. Thank you Sader for sharing more about your beautiful family and for making me realise that Down’s Syndrome or not, both Arjun and Saajan are incharge of their own destiny no matter what hurdles they may face! Here’s what Sader shared with me …
I am a dentistry student who loves sports like swimming and bodybuilding. I’m a pretty regular guy who likes watching movies and spending time with my friends. I currently live at home with my parents in Syria. My father has four brothers and three sisters and he is treated with love and respect by his family despite being born with Down’s Syndrome. My mother and father were introduced through family and I think it was pretty much love at first site! He is treated with love and respect by my mother’s family and by all the people who know him. My father works hard in a wheat factory where he has worked for the last 25 years, 6 days a week. In the winter, he is in charge of selling the products that are produced in the summer. In the summer, he works on a machine that grinds the wheat. We are a pretty regular family. My mother is a housewife and works hard at maintaining the house while my father is out to work and I am focusing on my studies at the moment. My father and I have a great father and son relationship – he is my friend, my brother and my father. I totally admire everything that he has done for me. I have a father who loves me and supports me in everything that I do unconditionally.
My father enjoys watching Syrian TV shows, visiting relatives and drinking coffee with neighbours. Having a father with Down’s Syndrome has impacted my relationships for the better. Many people look up to our family because of all that my father has achieved. As a child who grew up with a father with Down’s Syndrome, I know exactly how pure hearted and loving they are but also that they have ambition and drive and deserve a decent life and do not deserve to be aborted. What makes me most proud of my father is that although a lot of people thought that what he was trying to do was impossible, he did not pay attention to them and worked hard to earn money for his family so that I can go to school and learn. Many people think that a person with Down’s Syndrome are not able to live an ordinary life, that they are unable to get married or have kids – it may be rare (there are currently 3 documented cases of a male with Down’s Syndrome having a child though there may be many undocumented cases), but my father is an example that it is possible! I believe each and every person in this world deserves to be loved and appreciated, including people with Down’s Syndrome. I believe people with Down’s Syndrome and other disabilities deserve respect as they are able to achieve a lot more than many assume.