Preetam and I are often the receivers of the words “you guys really need to start leaving Arjun places”.
This is a huge bugbear of mine. Why do we NEED to or HAVE to?
Every couple/family/child is different and we all do what works for us and our situation. I’ve always been an advocate of respecting everyone’s decisions and opinions and focusing on my own path rather than dictating to others – my own situation at times has made me sensitive to being aware that not everyone is in the same boat.
I work Monday-Wednesday during which time Arjun goes to nursery. He’s learnt so much there and is so happy to socialise with others. He eats well, plays nicely and gets to do all sorts of arts and crafts and on top of everything he gets to go in the garden and splash in puddles! Although a struggle at the beginning, as is the case with most kids settling in at nursery, he’s now at the stage where he waves us goodbye in the morning when we drop him off and he cries when we go to pick him up as he wants to stay there!
On Thursdays and Fridays I like us to spend as much time as possible together to make up for the last three days. Sometimes we’ll have a home day (very rare) but the rest of the time we spend meeting Arjun’s baby friends, seeing family and visiting the Gurdwara. I feel like my time is so precious with him, why would I want to leave him longer than I’ve already done the last three days? Why is it bad that I don’t want to leave him during the time I do have with him? What’s the point in me working three days?
We get to see Arjun’s grandparents at least once a week and he spends quality time with them – from giggles with Dadi Ji during science experiments, to playing with his cars with Dada Ji, to playing in the office with Nana Ji and playing vaja and tabla with Nani Ji, to terrorising the dogs at both houses, he has an absolute blast at both houses and is spoilt rotten by his masis, chacha and pua.
I know many couples would probably frown upon us for not spending any “us” time but the truth is, neither one of us would really feel complete without Arjun there. Date night wouldn’t be date night without our mini. Why is that bad? The only difference now is we have an even stronger common goal – Arjun.
If there was a reason we needed to leave Arjun, we would and I have done in the past. But on the regular, both Preetam and I struggle with the limited time we have as a family and we want to enjoy every minute of Arjun growing up. It won’t be long before he’s wanting to go and stay at places himself. But for now, we’re happy with him here with us as there is no real reason to leave him.
Apologies for the slight rant but it’s something I find super frustrating!
I don’t judge you, please don’t judge me.