Harps is an award winning blogger who shares her remarkable journey of motherhood after experiencing post natal depression and an unexpected diagnosis of Down’s syndrome. Her readers have often coined her words “relatable” and “warming”.
I’ll always get the odd inspection from someone in the room – especially when meeting the older generation! It inspired me to write a post on some of my favourite old wives tales relating to pregnancy and gender I’ve heard! I’ve also included some that you shared with me!
1) You’re having a boy if you haven’t gained weight anywhere bar your belly, a girl if you have. Even my fingers have gained weight!
2) You’re having a girl if you prefer sweet to savoury. I love all food.
3) If you have morning sickness it’s a girl, if little or none it’s a boy. What does “little” sickness mean?
4) If you have heartburn, you’ll have a hairy baby. I’ll be giving birth to a baby gorilla in that case!
5) If you have a son and he was born with a swirly crown, you’re going to have another son. Yikes, two Arjuns!
6) If you’re hair growth has increased, you’re having a boy because of the extra testosterone in your body, if you’re extra moody, you’re having a girl. I’m moody and erm hairy!
7) If the linea nigra stops at the belly button, it’s a girl. If it goes all the way to the bottom of the rib cage, it’s a boy. (Mine is hidden inbetween my tiger stripes/stretch marks).
8) If you’re carrying high it’s a girl if you’re carrying low it’s a boy (my food baby is also occupying a lot of space in there which may be leading to “low” carrying).
9) If your first child shows an interest in the baby, you’re carrying the opposite sex. Erm sometimes Arjun swaddles and rocks his baby doll to sleep, other times he’s frantically looking for his screwdriver to screw its eyes out..! What does THAT mean!?
10) If on average the baby’s heartbeat is over 140bpm, it’s a girl. If lower, it’s a boy. Oh so it’s nothing to do with the baby feeling a bit snoozy after mummy’s consumed a whole half of an extra-large pizza?!
11) If you don’t have that pregnancy “glow”, you’re having a girl because she’s stealing your beauty! … I looked pretty rough even when carrying Arjun..!
12) Warm hands means you’re carrying a boy … I’m always hot! I’m sure it’s nothing to do with the extra weight I’m lugging around (about 3 food babies and an actual baby!)
Have any of these proved true for you? What do you think we’re having?x
I can’t believe it’s been over a week since the unimaginable happened and it STILL hasn’t quite sunk in – my teeny tiny blog with the randomest ramblings and Arjy’s lunatic antics won Best Preschool Blog in the nation’s biggest blogging awards – the MADs!
It feels so surreal and the last few weeks have been a whirlwind! I really can’t believe it! I feel so overwhelmed by all the love and support we’ve received both before the awards and after – I feel like we’ve all achieved it together as soppy as that sounds! Thank you all so much for riding this journey with me and becoming my blogging family. It means the world to me that people I only know through the blog and family and friends alike took the time out to vote for me – it really does mean so so much.
The awards night … I was feeling really apprehensive about going – a swanky red carpet event in a London hotel and I wasn’t going to be able to share our success of reaching the finals and the evening with my loved ones. We weren’t invited to take a +1 which meant I’d be going as a lone soldier! It would’ve been so lovely to have shared my achievements with my biggest supporters – my husband and my Arjy.
Being pregnant, big and tired all the time, meant I didn’t have the energy to meet up with my fellow blogging buddies beforehand but had planned to meet them there at the event. Despite coming across as confident at times, I’m a little mouse deep down and new situations freak me out! I found the whole experience a little daunting to be honest!
One of my blogging besties, Stacey, had won tickets to come and support me on the night but unfortunately was hospitalised the night before (she’s doing much better now thankfully!). I was excited that Prabs from Absolutely Prabulous, a fellow Punjabi blogger from Malta, was going to be there and I was super excited to meet her in person – since we first started talking through blogging, she became my big sister and it feels like I’ve known her for ages!
In preparation for the awards, there were complimentary hair and make up sessions available prior to the awards at the hotel, I decided to get my hair and make up done in the comfort of my home from the lovely Paven. You can check out what I wore, and my look in my blog post here.
My darling husband offered to drive me all the way to London despite feeling like absolute sh*t due to a nasty virus. I felt really bad but we both knew the chances of me making it in one piece on public transport were slim lol. I’m not very street wise when it comes to TFL! Also, I didn’t fancy prancing around on the tube dolled up. I get flustered at the best of times! We thought leaving an hour and a half would be ample time in arriving at the Royal Garden Hotel in Kensington but we just about made it (due to my misdirection and traffic!) for the drinks reception which started at 6.30pm.
I felt super nervous about walking in to the drinks reception but was welcomed by the warmest face of Sally Whittle, founder of Tots100 – the ones who had organised the evening, in the lift.
During the drinks reception, I got to meet some very familiar faces (thanks Instagram!) and also some new faces:
Prabs from Absolutely Prabulous – just as hilarious in real life as online. She’s pint sized but full of life! It didn’t feel like it was the first time we’d met for real, I feel like I’ve known Prabs for years just like I thought!
Talya from Motherhood Real Deal – there are no words. Absolutely hilarious! Talya is Prabs’ blog wife and together, they kept me in fits of laughter all night!
Photo credit: Tom Arber
Emma from Brummy Mummy of 2 – she’s a Facebook sensation with her very real posts of motherhood and oh so funny!
Detrice Matthews who was so super friendly, lovely and instantly made me feel calm by being in the same nervous boat as me!
Julia from Rain Beau Belle – a blogger that has managed to both break my heart through documenting her family’s journey through battling with her husband’s cancer which sadly took his life, and made me smile through her positivity and strength, what a woman. She was so down to earth and lovely in real life too.
Alison of Complicated Gorgeousness – I’d not come across Alison’s blog before but was so glad to have met her. I instantly felt a very warm vibe from her!
I was lucky enough to be sitting with Prabs and Talya and we had lots of laughs during the evening and they also realised I’m just as potty mouthed as they are despite how “lady like” I may appear on the blog (?!). We had some lovely other bloggers at our table too and in total table 12 won 6 awards! Lucky table or what!?
We were served a yummy dinner as soon as we entered the main hall – good call! Which was then followed by the awards.
Helen Lederer of Absolutely Fabulous hosted the night. I had scoped out the others in my category a few days before and felt like I had 0 chance of winning but I was so proud to have come so far. I’d even written up my Facebook status in my notes as I was so sure I wasn’t going to win. All of those in my category were absolutely amazing with a really large following and a heavy presence.
It felt unreal seeing Baby Brain Memoirs up there on a huge screen as a finalist, I felt really proud – not something I feel often! I had a quick flashback of the last 2 years and how far I’ve come on my journey through motherhood and riding the highs and lows and how much my blog has helped me to capture the most beautiful memories. To be even sitting there as a finalist amongst bloggers that have been doing it for 5, 7, 10 years even was crazy. I almost felt undeserving!
My thoughts were quickly interrupted by the lovely Amber from Goblin Child’s voice as she announced the winner…
“Baby Brain Memoirs” followed by a cheer …
WHAAAAAT!!!!
My eyes almost popped out and my jaw literally dropped to the floor – you’d literally need a shovel to pick it up – “a missed Kodak” moment as described by Callum at our table! I couldn’t bl00dy believe it!
OMG, I hadn’t prepared a speech!
OMG what if this was the point that my dress split open!
OMG what if I trip!?!?
OMG my legs feel like jelly!
Prabs and Talya showed their enthusiasm loud and proper as my name was called, in a somewhat giddy state I managed to get up and somehow waddle on to stage. It felt like the longest walk ever – I couldn’t figure out if I was dreaming it or if it was really happening!?
It felt so unreal and overwhelming. I’m so grateful to have won an award for something that started off as an outlet for myself – my blog has become a lot more than what its original intent was thanks to you guys.
More than the award, like I said on Facebook (the edited status after I’d found out I won!), each message I receive from readers of the blog, are worth more than an award. If I’ve managed to help even one person feel “human” then I’m a winner.
Photo credit: Tom Arber
I didn’t have a speech ready as I wasn’t expecting it at all, I was dumbstruck when my name was called out and as a result my speech was a random bunch of mumbled words and I didn’t get to mention everyone (partly because it felt weird thanking my family and friends who weren’t there to hear it!).
Thanks to the girls, I managed to get a tiny video of the whole thing (though I’m slightly cringed out by it!).
Given I didn’t get to do a proper speech, here are my “proper” thank yous! I know I haven’t won an Oscar, but I’m grateful nonetheless and like every other thing I’ve journalled through my blog, I want to journal this too!:
I am eternally grateful to God for showering me with endless blessings and for providing me with a support system even when I have been placed in tough situations. I’m a firm believer in my faith and remember God in every moment of my life.
Thank you to my wonderful son for blessing me as your mother – I think it was Kim K (sometimes she does talk sense!) that said a child chooses its parents. I count my blessings daily and feel so lucky to be able to call myself your mummy. You amaze me and fill those around you with so much love and joy – even those that haven’t ever met you. It’s been a bumpy ride because of my own internal battles, but you’ve made it so much easier by holding my hand and being my constant and for inspiring me daily.
Thank you to my husband for supporting me since the get go, for encouraging me to share my experiences, for fighting against any resistance associated with it being a taboo in our culture to talk about our struggles. Thank you for being by my side always.
Thank you to my biggest cheerleader – my mum! I remember when I published my first blog post how proud you were of me. You have always believed in me and your prayers have always helped get us through.
My dad and beloved sisters – for being a constant pillar of support, for never failing me. Goov for being my chief editor (I’ve had some pretty epic typo fails!) and creative director (lol) and Harv for always cheering me on and celebrating even the tiniest things. To the rest of my family for being so supportive and loving and getting involved!
To my amazing friends, especially Sav and Amrit who are ALWAYS there to pick me up when I fall and to celebrate when I’m on a high. I’m lucky enough to call you my sisters.
And a huge thank you to my blogging family – both fellow bloggers and blog readers for being my extended family and for carrying me through so far! To Kat from Eat Love Live and Stacey from Mummy and the Bubbas for being my soul sisters and celebrating with me from the heart; Rod from Modern Dad Pages for always supporting me both with Baby Brain Memoirs and Apparel – it was because of you I started my first linky! And to Jen from Mamazou for just being you! To my readers for sharing your experiences with me, for allowing me to be a part of your lives as well as you being a part of mine. For your words of wisdom, your love and your kindness and for your votes!
Endless love to all of you.
Sorry for making it sound like an Oscar’s acceptance speech, but for me, it is a really big honour and I’m so touched and humbled by it.
Here is a thank you message from Arjun (translates to “thank you everybody, thank you much, we won”!:
As well as my shiny little trophy, all the winners also received beautiful flowers from MoonPig – the blog sponsors and I was also lucky enough to receive a gorgeous new baby hamper from Hippy Chick who sponsored my blog category – I’ve always wanted a little wicker basket and its contents are definitely going to come in handy when baby number 2 arrives!
A huge congratulations to all the other finalists and winners. What an achievement! And a huge thank you to the Tots100 team for organising such a lovely evening!
Here are a few pictures of our celebratory dinner the next day!
Following on from my reviews of Fusion Lifestyle Leisure Centres, they have recently published the below article which is definitely thought evoking!
As you may or may not know, we started Arjun off at swimming lessons when he was quite young (12 weeks) for two terms. Unfortunately after that, our busy social calendar took over and it became increasingly difficult (and expensive!) to attend our weekend lessons.
I took Arjun to his first toddler swim class recently and I’m so keen to keep it up.
What are your thoughts on the below?
New research shows swimming lessons have positive impact on achievement for primary school pupils
Findings released today, ahead of the start of the new school term, by registered charity and leisure provider Fusion Lifestyle, suggest swimming lessons could be the key to giving children a head start as they start school. The findings reveal that children who have taken swimming lessons are significantly more likely to perform above average in maths, English, literacy and sport, than non-swimming children.
The survey further strengthens the link between swimming and the positive mental and physical development in young children and shows how incredibly important it is.
1,000 parents of children aged 4 – 8 revealed the following:
• 45% of children at Reception level who have had swimming lessons have achieved reading age 5 or above, with only 27% of those who haven’t had lessons in this range
• Children who have taken swimming lessons are more likely to enjoy reading (54%) than non-swimming children (47%) and are more likely to read daily outside of school (45%) than those who haven’t had lessons (36%)
• Children are also more able to recite their times tables, than those that haven’t taken swimming lessons, with 39% of swimmers able to recite their 5 times table v only 28% of non swimmers
• 37% of these children are also more likely to enjoy maths “very much”, vs only 29% of those who haven’t had lessons
• Swimming also appears to help overall sporting performance with 37% of those who have taken lessons performing above average in sport and PE, compared to 28% of those who haven’t taken lessons
Jon Glenn, Head of Learn to Swim at the Amateur Swimming Association, commented: “Swimming is a great way for children and young people to stay fit and active. Learning about water confidence at a young age is also important to help children to stay safe in and around water. For some time now, swimming and physical activity has been recognised as having additional positive impacts on development and social skills. We would recommend all children take part in swimming at the earliest possible opportunity, whether that is by having fun in the pool with families or receiving formal swimming instruction.”
Chris Jones, Group Sports and Development Manager of Fusion Lifestyle added, “The new school term is the perfect time to start thinking about swimming lessons and we hope these findings will give parents and guardians even more of an incentive to help their children get active and get in the pool. We passionately believe that children should learn to swim. It’s the only sport that can save your life, it’s a great way to exercise and now our research suggests it can help children do better at school too. We facilitated 3.5 million lessons in 2015 and are committed to increasing that in 2016 and beyond”
With 80 Fusion-run pools across the UK, their dedicated ‘Swim School’ programme offers ASA approved lessons that, under the Learn to Swim Framework, help children achieve confidence in the water. Over 46,000 children learn to swim with Fusion every week with their expert instructors in a friendly, safe and fun environment. Book your free assessment today at www.fusionswimschool.com to find out more.
Disclosure: this is a sponsored post either in the form of remuneration or a free product being sent to us for review however all thoughts and opinions are our own.
Do you ever feel like your phone is your best friend and worst enemy at the same time?
Last night for the first time ever Arjun asked me “mummy phone down please”.
I can’t even begin to express my guilt.
Do I use my phone? Yes. Excessively is the truth. I use my phone for absolutely everything – to manage my online store (BabyBrainApparel.com), to write my blog posts (I’ve only ever written my first few posts on a computer), take pictures, manage my calendar, online clothes shopping, online food shopping, banking, manage social media and keep up to date with a gazillion group chats including the family one where we share pictures of Arjun … And for keeping up to date with the lives of my friends and family by sometimes spending hours a week scrolling through social media feeds.
I often wonder what on earth people did before smart phones? I certainly survived. I wish I could go back to a good ol Nokia 8210. A phone that I wouldn’t be glued to. A phone that was used for its intended purpose – to make calls and send the odd message. I wish I didn’t live in an age where I wasn’t the only one with this horrible disease. I don’t remember my parents being glued to their phones when I was a child – I have fond memories of them which don’t feature phones. The house phone was used a lot more and a mobile was used for making calls, not even really messaging.
I have become more and more conscious about over using my phone especially around Arjun. Anytime he calls me, I put my phone straight down and go to him. I’m very conscious about ensuring he isn’t ignored when I’m busy doing something else because the truth is, I don’t often get to spend quality time with him as there is always something to do – be it cooking, sewing or working! The last thing I need to be doing is spending the little time I do have on my phone.
Last night wasn’t about me ignoring his call for me. No. He skipped that part and went straight to asking me to put my phone down. The innocently desperate “please” he tagged on to the end (although I know it’s because he chose to use good manners!) made it so much worse.
He was lying on my tummy ready for bed after play fighting with me and asked me to put “Baba Ji Waheguru” on so I pulled out my phone to do just that. What I did after that was unnecessary. As always, my natural reaction is to click on my social media icons. I don’t even need to look at my phone to know where they are located, I don’t even need to think about what I’m doing – it just happens. I clicked on Instagram and just like that, found myself scrolling through my feed. Why?! It’s like a natural reaction anytime I touch my phone. It’s so odd. I don’t want it to be an innate part of me. I don’t want my son to ever feel like he comes second to a piece of technology. I felt so awful. I instantly put my phone down without even exiting the app and didn’t touch it after that. How has it become a part of my daily schedule to meaninglessly scroll through social media feeds? What does it bring to my life? Don’t get me wrong, if I was sat bored on a train, or on my lunch break that would be different. But how can I be so ridiculous to miss out on precious time with my child while doing something so pointless?!
I’ve definitely reduced my phone use but clearly it’s still too much. For some reason I’d feel less guilty sitting at a laptop with him playing nearby than I do sitting on my phone to get things done.
It’s crazy that I used to have my phone at the ready 24/7 incase I missed a precious moment that a lot of the time I ended up not being in THAT moment and instead watched it from behind a camera lens. Most of my pictures of Arjun were taken on my phone. That’s definitely changed, the number of pictures I take has reduced dramatically. I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing?
It’s like a disease – one that I’m not afraid to face I have. Change is definitely in order. Perhaps utilising my Canon camera instead of my camera phone when possible, using my laptop instead of my phone when possible. A smartphone is just so accessible and easy to use. Perhaps I’ll implement a rule whereby I don’t use my phone when Arjun is at home unless absolutely necessary – what is “absolutely necessary” though?
All I know is, I never ever want Arjun to feel the need to tell me “mummy phone down please” again. I felt like a failure last night. I know lots of mums can relate as unfortunately it’s a part of this day and age. That’s no excuse though, controlling it is something I’ve been rubbish at but that’s something I’m going to change.
P.s. this blog post was written in the notes section of my phone … While Arjun is at nursery!
Oh my goodness! I still cannot believe Baby Brain Memoirs was crowned Best Pre School Blog (OH EM GEE!!!) in the nations largest blogging awards – the MAD
Blog Awards 2016! How crazy?!?! It still all feels so so surreal!
I’ll be writing a separate blog post on the MAD Blog Awards that I attended on Friday night when it’s finally sunk in!
I’ve had lots and lots of questions about my outfit on the night so thought I’d share the details in the mean while!
I searched low and high for a dress for the awards. Knowing I’d be almost six months pregnant and looking pretty “full”, I knew from the start I’d prefer to wear a maxi dress to embrace it all.
I searched several maternity sites (thank you for all the recommendations!) and tried so many Asos dresses to no avail! In the end, I had one last browse before I was really going to give up and I found it! It was a beautiful nude coloured dress with gorgeous work. I didn’t manage to get different angle shots in the dress, so I’ve shared the gorgeous ones from the Asos website!
It wasn’t actually a maternity dress, I just purchased it in a larger size to cater for my fuller chest and swollen belly! I always imagined myself wearing a dark colour to the awards ceremony but when I saw the dress I just knew (and prayed!) that it was the one depending on whether it’d fit! It did thankfully, like a really tight glove lol. I obviously didn’t rock it as well as the gorgeous slender Asos model but it worked!
The dress had beautiful rose gold embroidery on the bodice at the front and back. It came with a zip which is a must for me to get the best chance of a good fit and the bottom was a flowy net like fabric with lining. I absolutely loved the dress when I saw it and actually also fell in love with the colour – it was something a little different and it meant I could be understated with my jewellery.
It was a little on the pricey side but it’s definitely something I could wear again! It could easily be turned in to an Indian outfit too.
The night before the awards, I lined up all the potential shoe options (all heels)! And I had a little brain wave to try them on to find the most comfortable (function over fashion and all that!). Thank goodness I did! I didn’t realise that my feet had swollen to resemble those of an elephants and I had absolutely NO chance of squeezing my chubby little tootsies and feet in to them let alone be comfortable. I was so disappointed as the dress was long in length! So lucky I decided to check the night before as it meant I had time to take the dress up myself and to decide to wear my trusty Ted Baker flat jelly sandals – such a good decision as I was so so comfortable all night! The last thing I needed was an outfit disaster by tripping up when graciously trying to strut my stuff!
I wore simple ear jacket earrings from Accessorize with my dress – so simple yet a little dressy (thanks for the gift Amrit!) and I wore a dark gold coloured woven clutch bag from Accessorize. I painted my nails a soft pink colour.
I knew exactly how I wanted my hair and make up – sober colours and a soft wavy hair down do. Paven absolutely nailed it and it turned out exactly how envisaged. She also did a brilliant job at calming my nerves by distracting me – we ended up getting so lost in conversation that I forgot what I was getting ready for! Haha!
Arjun is such an independent little boy but he loves the company of other children. We told him we were pregnant quite soon after finding out by explaining mummy has his brother or sister inside her tummy. To be honest, it’s so difficult for even me to comprehend that there is a new beautiful life growing inside me – that I’m fuelling their growth, I’m providing them shelter and a warm and safe place till they enter this big world. How can a child really begin to comprehend it if I can’t despite the constant reminder from its tiny kicks and rolls?
It’s been a mixed reaction from him for sure and I feel so apprehensive about how he’ll “handle it”. I mean I know millions of kids go through it on a daily basis and I know that I always dreamt of him growing up with a sibling but I can’t help but feel nervous. Arjun is the only grandchild on both sides of the family and he is absolutely showered with so much love and attention (in a positive non brat-ish way!). I just hope he doesn’t have to grow up too quickly – to me, he’s still a baby. A tiny person with lots of emotions learning his way through life. He’ll be feeling emotions that he’s never felt before, that are alien to him. Both positive and negative. I just want to make sure I’m giving him as much support to process those feelings and emotions as possible by Preetam and I holding his hand through this journey.
Not only has Arjun had to deal with the idea of a sibling, we are also dealing with lots of other changes in our life – major building work – the impact of which I really underestimated on him. Not only are his home surroundings changing, but Preetam also doesn’t have as much time to spend with Arjun as he did before as we are frantically trying to get things done. Preetam is often working till past midnight straight after work before rising the next morning at 6am to go to work before repeating the same day again. It’s been tough on all of us. I’m so thankful for the beautiful weather as it has meant that Arjun can play in the garden while Preetam does the building work when possible which means they get to spend time together.
As well as the building work, Arjun has also changed rooms at nursery. Something that has taken him a long while to adapt to. They seem a lot less invested in his new room which concerns me as I need him to have a solid support system through all his changes. It’s been heartbreaking to see him hysterical in the mornings, physically fighting to come back to me as I leave him to go to work. It just adds to the guilt. I worry that he’s unable to express what he’s feeling and that he may be carrying a heavy weight around and I’m unable to help as I don’t know what the exact cause is – again, making me feel pretty helpless and sh*tty!
His behaviour has definitely changed since we shared the news in many ways. He’s become a lot more clingy especially to me – where he’d happily walk around before, most of the time now when we are out, he wants me to pick him up which can be challenging and tiring. But I know it’s just a phase and his way of seeking reassurance. I want to be able to give him that as his mother. He’s become so affectionate and sometimes it feels as though he is scared of someone else taking me away from him. He’s even had an “argument” with a waiter at Pizza Hut thinking he wanted to take me (so awkward!) saying “no my mummy!”.
I noticed he recently started biting his nails, but thankfully it only lasted a few weeks. I’m not sure if it was just a random phase, or his way of dealing with stress.
I am so hyper aware that things are changing as our family is growing and that I want to implement the change as staggered as possible so Arjun doesn’t have to deal with too many things at once. I know it won’t prepare him for the arrival of another little person that he’ll have to share mummy and daddy with, but I’m hoping it’ll help minimise any negative feeling and enable him to feel confident, reassured and familiar with what’s coming his way.
Here are some of the steps I’ve taken:
Nursery support: Arjun’s old Keyworker suggested they could introduce Arjun to the idea of babies by encouraging him to play with the baby dolls by putting them to sleep, changing their nappies etc. They have also started to read him books which incorporate the idea of becoming a big brother/sister. I have definitely seen Arjun’s soft side when I’ve gone to pick him up from nursery and spied on him and seen him cuddling a baby doll, patting it to sleep or talking it for a walk in a buggy. It’s so cute and warms my heart to see! New bedroom: we decided to keep the nursery as it is and instead to move Arjun in to a totally new room. I let him pick what theme he’d like to decorate it in and he obviously picked Paw Patrol as one of his programmes (but then decided Mickey Mouse was his favourite a few days after I had ordered all the bits)! Needless to say, he was thrilled when he saw his new room. I moved all his toys in to his new room and we also included a double bed. I wanted to ensure Arjun is very comfortable in his new space well in advance of the baby arriving. We decided to place a double bed in his new room as before he was often coming in to our room during the night and was beginning to really cramp things (I spent most of the night hanging off the bed!). I figured this way, Preetam or I could jump in with him and Arjun may also welcome the extra space. Also, once the baby is here, Preetam may need to be with Arjun during the night a little more. It’s worked so well. Arjun often sleeps through the night and if he does wake, Preetam will jump in with him and they get to have quality sleepy cuddles! Arjun now refers to the nursery as “baby’s room” and his room as “Arjy’s room”.
Extra time with grandparents: earlier in the year I wrote a post about “why do I need to leave my son anywhere?” It was before I fell pregnant. Since I’ve been pregnant, I’ve consciously encouraged the grandparents, masis, chacha, pua and fufar to take Arjun to spend one on one time with him so he gets undivided attention and also gets used to being alone there if he ever needs a break once baby is here. He loves his time with Nana Nani, Dada Dadi!
Talk to the baby: I encourage Arjun to talk to the baby when he feels comfortable doing so but I never push him. He’ll often say “wakey wakey baby”. He’s named the baby Arjun lol.
TV programmes: one of Arjun’s favourite episodes of Mickey Mouse is “Goofy Baby” where Goofy morphs in to a baby and the rest of the crew have to baby sit him. In that episode they put Goofy to sleep, change his nappy, feed him and burp him and also try and settle him when he is crying. He also likes the Peppa Pig episode where baby Alexander comes to visit. Encouraging him to watch baby episodes when he does watch TV again helping to introduce the idea to him. Arjun mimics what they do on the programmes on the baby doll I got for him.
Getting involved: I talk to Arjun as much as possible about the baby without it being overwhelming and without every conversation being dominated by it. At the same time I want to make the most of my time with him as a single child. We have taken Arjun shopping to pick clothes for the baby (where he was more interested in the escalator!) and I’ll also be getting him to help fold the baby’s clothes for the wardrobes.
Birth prep: For the birth of the baby, I let Arjun pick which matching leggings fabric he likes so I can make the baby, Arjun and myself all matching pairs as the baby’s coming home outfit so Arjun feels very much included. I’ll also ensure Arjun receives a gift from the baby the first time he comes to meet them.
Arjun’s behaviour towards babies has definitely changed. He’s become quite sensitive to them and it feels like he’s developed a new sense of understanding and responsibility towards them. My cousin sister has recently had a baby and when baby Jaylen cries, Arjun will try and comfort him by telling him “mummy’s coming” and will find my cousin to inform her he’s crying “baby crying”. He also plays very differently with babies – almost in an adult like manner where he’ll try and explain to Jaylen what the toy is, how it works and the sounds it may make.
Sometimes he will lift up my top and stroke my belly, give it gentle kisses and rest his head on it while watching TV. Other times he will use it as a punch bag. He uses my belly button as a peep hole to see the baby which is the sweetest thing ever – his innocence is so warming.
Sometimes he’ll acknowledge that there’s a baby in mummy’s tummy and boastfully tell other pregnant ladies with similar bellies that the baby is in his mummy’s tummy. Other times he’ll say there is no baby.
Sometimes he’ll talk about the baby himself and it melts my heart so much. Other times he will have selective hearing and completely ignore you if you mention it.
Sometimes he’ll lull his baby doll to sleep and other times he’ll go missing to find his screw driver to screw the baby’s eyes out!
I’m trying my best to support Arjun during lots of change and to help him be as confident as possible. Patience can be testing at times as his tantrums are in full swing at the moment! But I think we’ll get there. I’m really looking forward to him being a big brother despite the guilt that often consumes me. I think he will be so loving and proud although we’ll be sure to have our moments!!
If you have any tips on anything else I can do, I’d love to hear. x
Given Arjun hasn’t been for a swimming lesson since he was a tiny tot, I was quite excited. He absolutely loves being in the pool when on holiday and his confidence has definitely grown. I have never taken Arjun in to a swimming pool alone without Preetam before – another one of my many fears! When we were invited to review the toddler swimming lesson at Hanworth Leisure Centre, I thought it was the perfect opportunity for me to face another fear. It was also a great opportunity to meet with our friends Sam and Josie.
Here is my review:
Parking: there is a really big car park and despite the lesson we attended being during school holidays, we found parking easily with plenty more available. It was an added bonus that parking was free.
Friendliness of reception: The reception staff were really friendly and helpful and showed us as around the changing rooms and swimming pool.
Changing rooms: I was super excited when we entered the changing rooms as I’ve not been to a pool where I’ve noticed family changing facilities before. Perfect way to ease the burden I was carrying around on my shoulders about how on earth I’d get myself and Arjun dressed! There are 5 of these family changing rooms which include a bench to place your items while you get dressed, a change table, a nappy bin and a small little play pen – the play pen came in particularly useful when I was getting dressed after the lesson when Arjun thought it would be fun to unlock the door! We managed to get a room each both on getting ready for the pool and when coming out.
A big point to note is that the changing rooms are mixed – I’m presuming this would need to be the case so that the family change rooms also welcome fathers. The showers and toilets are however split. The swimming pool changing showers are shared showers with no partition or individual cubicles and you have to keep your swim wear on which means you can’t have a “proper” shower post swimming. I’d have preferred to have had a full shower straight after the lesson and also be able to wash down Arjun properly. However there are separate cubicle showers in the dry changing rooms available.
There are plenty of lockers located in the changing rooms which require a refundable £1.
The changing rooms were clean and spacious.
The class: The pool itself and the surrounding area was very clean. The temperature was warm and the pool was large. Double the size of the pools I was used to seeing with previous high priced swimming lessons! The equipment was also clean. The class lasted 30 minutes which was the perfect amount of time before the babies got tired from splish splashing.
The class consisted of about 8 other kids plus a parent. It wasn’t overcrowded and the pool was more than big enough for everyone to have their personal space – even with the babies going in all directions!
The teacher was really friendly and had a bubbly personality which helped get the children engaged. She was really encouraging and gave lots of 1 on 1 attention if the parents were unsure of anything for example advising us to stand behind our babies when trying to get them to lie on their backs so they could rest their heads on our shoulder.
I loved that she sung familiar nursery rhymes such as “the wheels on the bus” “zoom zoom zoom we’re going to the moon” and “humpty dumpty” during the lesson which definitely got Arjun in to the swing of things! For example she used “the wheels on the bus” to get the toddlers to circle their arms in the water. The teacher also used animals to describe to the children the way in which to move, for example a frog and how it jumps to move their legs. By the end of the lesson, Arjun was able to understand to move his legs and arms at the same time with a floating age. He was so confident and even jumped in to my arms standing from the side of the pool at the end – he’s never done that before!
I had assumed that being a leisure centre, there would be a small section of a main pool sectioned off for the toddler lesson, however I was pleasantly surprised that there was a totally separate pool that is totally separate from the main pools.
Would we go again? We would definitely return back. Arjun and Josie both really enjoyed the lesson!
Disclosure: this is a sponsored post either in the form of remuneration or a free product being sent to us for review however all thoughts and opinions are our own.
With the hustle and bustle of life right now, I promptly accepted when I was invited to try pregnancy yoga at Isleworth Leisure Centre. There’s a lot going on at the moment, and I find little to no time for myself.
I used to practice yoga once a week before I fell pregnant with Arjun – more for meditation, and really felt it helped centre me and refocus. As my pregnancy progresses, our extension continues with the worst of it yet to come, having a testing toddler, I’ve struggled to make time to “bond” with my baby and to make time for myself. I knew yoga would be a great way to focus on that. It was an added bonus that my sister in law came with me – it’s always nice to have a buddy!
Here’s a review of how we found the class:
Parking & Location: The leisure centre is not sign posted but it is easy enough to spot from the road. There is a bus stop located directly outside.
Parking spaces are limited and quite tight for a large car and squeezing bumps out between cars! We arrived with ample time luckily as we had to wait for a parking spot. Several people left at about 10.45 so perhaps there is a class beforehand which finishes just in time.
Reception staff: we found the reception staff very friendly and helpful. The gentleman that tended to us was very generous with offering information on the class and the facilities within the leisure centre.
Changing rooms: Although we didn’t use the change facilities as we both showered at home afterwards, we did pop in to use the toilets. The changing rooms appeared to have been recently refurbished and were clean.
The studio: Both Mane and I noticed how clean the studio was. It was also very spacious given the number of people that attended the class (7 of us including the instructor). The mats and blocks provided were also clean however I would recommend you take a towel to cover the block if you’re OCD like me!
The instructor: The instructor’s name is Catherine. She qualified in 2004 and has been teaching pregnancy yoga for 12 years. She has 2 children of her own and so is familiar with pregnancy and child birth.
She oozes such a beautiful and radiant aura and has a very calming nature. Her mannerism is gentle and her voice is soft. I really do believe that with yoga, it’s so important to have a teacher that you feel instantly calmed by – that was Catherine. It was evident from her radiant presence that she’s very much in touch with her spiritual side. She was great at bringing my focus to the room, to my body and to my baby. She had a very direct calming effect on me. I admired her nature – she was patient, caring, kind and calm. Something that rubbed off on me during the session.
I found Catherine to be very genuine in wanting to help us – she had no sense of urgency despite it being a Saturday morning and probably wanting to rush back home to her children as soon as the lesson was done! She ensured we got the 5/10 minutes we used to set up at the beginning of the lesson back at the end as there is no class directly after which meant we got a full hour of practice.
The class: The class generally consists of no more than 6/7 people attending so it’s a comfortable number and not overcrowded. We were all well spaced out.
Catherine asked everyone to introduce themselves at the beginning of the session including name, how many other children you have and how far along in pregnancy you are. This was a nice way to open the session as we all got to know each other a little more. We found the other ladies that attended really friendly.
The floor to ceiling mirrors helped to see if we were doing our poses correctly (and to see that I didn’t quite look as elegant as I probably would have thought I did without the mirrors! Haha!).
The class consisted mainly of relaxation techniques and stretching. The poses and stretches focused on all parts of the body by combining breathing techniques. I found the shoulder exercises particularly useful as I get a lot of tension build up in my upper back.
We were told how poses could be adapted if we struggled. Catherine was very attentive to everyone’s needs and was also really kind and helpful in moving mats if we needed to to get comfortable. She also invited us to share any particular target areas we’d like to focus on and was helpful in offering advice e.g. stretches for lower back – she suggested stretching out by leaning against a wall or table when at home. She also offered tips for things to do at home such as how to deal with cramps (pinch lower lip, or press pressure point between big toe and second toe).
The class is well paced and the hour flew by. The exercises were not strenuous but they did help stretch out the body.
The session finished with a relaxation sequence of 31 points of light and energy in your body. It helped to relax the body and will definitely be something to try if I’m unable to sleep!
As well as focusing on pregnancy, Catherine also highlighted which stretches and breathing techniques would be good for during and after birth too. For example the shoulder rotating helps to loosen the knots built up from nursing a baby were you often end up with hunched shoulders!
I felt a lot looser and relaxed after the class.
The class takes place at 11am on Saturdays for £8.80. Mane and I would both highly recommend it if you live close by. We are hoping to return!
Disclosure: this is a sponsored post either in the form of remuneration or a free product being sent to us for review however all thoughts and opinions are our own.
It still feels pretty surreal to be honest, I’ve not really had the time to absorb what’s going on and what’s about to hit us! With major building work going on at home (can’t wait till our new home is built!), work, Baby Brain Apparel, blog, cleaner on holiday for 6 weeks, a very busy summer with weddings birthdays and gatherings AND of course a toddler in tow, I barely get a moment to myself. It’s so different this time around!
It’s going to be pretty manic with two under three! But I’m trying not to freak myself out by the thought. I have braced myself for the first year being somewhat challenging as the sleepless nights kick in and a toddler that may feel he needs to fight for our attention. I’m feeling pretty anxious but I’m also really excited for Arjun to be a big brother and for our little family to grow.
We always knew we’d love to have a second baby (God willing) – I grew up with two sisters and Preetam with a brother and sister. Despite the hair pulling, fighting and parent rivalry, it meant you had a friend for life. Something I am so grateful for – two sisters who I can call my best friends.
When we found out we were pregnant, it all felt so surreal. I remember finding out the morning of my best friend, Amrit’s, wedding reception. I did the test as I was one day late. We were trying for a baby but a few negatives a few days earlier meant I wasn’t holding my breath. I had invested in a pack of 20 pee sticks from eBay as (I’m sure many of you can relate!) it almost became an addictive habit peeing on a stick for a few months! An expensive habit when investing in Clearblues! The First Response test (which promises to detect early … You lie!) I’d done a few days earlier (2 days before my missed period) had come back negative so I was certain I wasn’t pregnant. With Arjun, I’d found out 5 days before my missed period.
Preetam was outside painting our fence, and Arjun and I were having morning snuggles when I decided to do a cheap test out of force of habit ..! I was completely shocked when I saw a faint second red line. Damn it did I leave the test out too long and was if a hoax?! I decided to use the last Clearblue Test I had to double check … I was so surprised, despite us trying, to see a positive after seeing negatives a few days before! I embraced Arjun and cried. I handed him the stick (after wiping it with a Dettol wipe as you do!) and rushed down to show it to Preetam who was equally as surprised!
The rest of the day was a blur as I partied the night away with my bestie and her husband. What a fabulous day all round!
My initial emotions were definitely of excitement and sheer gratitude. I felt just as happy as I’d imagined myself to feel.
Would love to have a little girl to complete our little family but I’d be equally as thrilled with a little boy, I’m grateful for whatever blessing God bestows on us.
I’ll be sharing my journey with you and catching up with blogging now that we’ve shared our news! Just in case you missed it, you can catch up with my “pregnancy after a c section” post.
X
Hi, I’m Harps, an award winning blogger who shares my journey of motherhood after experiencing post natal depression and an unexpected diagnosis of Down’s syndrome. Readers have often coined my musings “relatable” and “warming”. I have gone on to turn my passion of connecting people into working with brands ranging from household names through to small businesses and sharing with my engaged audience.
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