Arjun & Saajan's Antics Archives

Posted on February 11, 2021August 17, 2021 by Harps — Leave a comment

Potty Training Our Son … Who Happens to Have Additional Needs (Down’s Syndrome)

Potty training is something that’s been a big mental hurdle for me to cross with Saajan. Where with Arjun it was pretty straight forward (admittedly it’s when I was pregnant with Saajan and temporarily living with my parents while we had building work done which meant I had an extra 4 pair of hands!), I had assumed that it would be a lot more challenging with Saajan. Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t a doddle, but I did overcomplicate it massively! Sometimes the fear and anxiety of something is far greater than the reality. We have mastered day time toilet training and next need to tackle the nights – he’s had a few dry nights but I want to wait a little while before tackling nights.

I’m just putting it out there incase the potty training police come for me – I am by no means a professional potty trainer nor am I am expert in kids with Down’s syndrome/additional needs. I’m merely sharing our journey and what worked for us.

How did I know Saajan was “ready”? To be honest, I didn’t. He would sometimes randomly say “poo poo” if he felt a sensation in his nappy. That was my only real cue.

Before you begin …

1. Where’s your head at?

Whether you have a typically developing chid or not, a lot of the success around potty training (I believe) comes from “where your head is at”. I’ll explain why … during the first lockdown, Saajan learnt to walk at 3 years and 4 months. At around 3 years and 6 months, I decided it was time to tackle potty training. It happened to coincide with mounting stress and mental health challenges I was facing at the time – i.e. my head and heart were not there. I remember removing his nappy and placing him in pants while ensuring I had ample of nappies around “just in case” (the fact that I was “just in case’ing” meant that I wasn’t whole heartedly in). The first day was a disaster – 18 wet pairs of pants and a poo explosion wasn’t my idea of fun. I quit. I gave up because I thought “he didn’t get it” – I had no patience.

Back went the nappy and we cracked on with life. To be honest, I just couldn’t be bothered at that time as much as I would have loved for it to have happened – my desire wasn’t greater than the effort/patience that I was prepared to put in.

A week before schools were due to close for the Christmas break, Saajan’s nursery had a coronavirus case and he was asked to self-isolate. With having a week off where I could focus solely on Saajan, I decided to go for it. This time, there were no extra pull ups added to my shopping basket and my mindset was “I’m removing the pull ups and there is no going back, whether it takes me a month or a year!”. And that was that. And here we are a month later, potty trained! Where your head is at makes all the difference to a) your patience b) your perseverance c) your desire.

So, the first thing, ensure you are absolutely wholeheartedly in the right headspace.

If you’re not, the likelihood is that you’ll end up like me in lockdown one! It’s absolutely ok to not be in the right headspace right now – there is SO much going on and remind yourself that your child will be potty trained one day! Go easy on yourself. It isn’t a race 😊

2. Be realistic

There will be some really really good days and there’ll be some not so good days. It’s rare to whip your child’s nappy off and for them to automatically know what to do. It takes time, patience and perseverance.

What works for you may not work for me and vice versa. That’s why number 1 is really important.

3. Don’t overcomplicate it … break it down

I mean mentally don’t over complicate it. Don’t overwhelm yourself. Break it down and keep it simple. For us, we had several hurdles to cross before actually getting to the peeing on a potty stage which I’ve outlined later on in this post.

4. Don’t go overkill, be sensible

Back to lockdown one, I had tried putting Saajan on the toilet every 30 minutes. Of course, he wasn’t able to make an association as we were putting him on too often. Do you pee every 30 minutes?! Putting him on the toilet every 30 minutes was also really stressful for me. I found myself getting agitated and as a result giving up pretty quick.

When we re-started in December, I started with hourly. He doesn’t have a clear pee/poo pattern. Once he started sitting himself on the toilet, I changed it to every 2 hours and 15 minutes after meal times. 5 weeks later, we no longer need to remind him.

5. No excuses

Ok I’m perhaps braving it by putting this one up here because we are in lockdown at the moment and let’s face it, with a national lockdown right now, there aren’t many places to go! Have no excuses for putting a pull up on once you switch to pants whilst training. When we have been for a car drive (for a cheeky McDs or ice cream as our lockdown treat), I refuse to put Saajan in a pull up even then. Once I had decided that we were going to do this, we were going to do it. I place a toilet training mat at the bottom of his car seat and we crack on. What’s the worst that’ll happen? He’ll wet himself (not going to lie, I do feel slightly nervous when he hasn’t already had a no2!)? It really isn’t the end of the world! In my experience, by switching between pull ups and pants when they’re potty training leads to confusion.

6. YOU know your child best

Despite the various theories you’ll find about potty training, don’t be fooled in to believing “one size fits all” – this is true of even potty training a child with additional needs. YOU know your child best, follow your gut, follow your instinct and TRUST it.

Right, now that we’ve covered the mindset and mental bits, let me share the practical things we did:

Ditch the pull ups: As mentioned above, the sole purpose of the pull up for us was for Saajan to learn to pull his pants up and down. Once he could do this and we were ready to go for it, we ditched the pull ups during the day entirely. I also ditched his bottoms and ensured the heating was on nice and warm. This just saved on extra washing (nd frustration!).

Potty: we were given a Heathfield chair by occupational therapy which is like a baby commode. He was given this to ensure his feet are planted on the ground when sitting to help with his posture. We placed this in our lounge so Saajan had access to it at all times. Our bathroom downstairs isn’t easily accessible for him and because he is still a little unsteady on his feet, we didn’t want the added worry of him trying to climb up on to a seat. Upstairs we used a toilet trainer seat in the main bathroom and we place him on it each morning when he wakes up. Whilst training, I’d definitely recommend having the main potty accessible so the child is able to sit on it when they feel to – even if it’s just for the sake of sitting!

Caddy: keep a caddy with all the essentials right by your potty/toilet training area. Mine includes plenty of pants, a spare pair of bottoms, socks, wipes, antibac wipes, toilet paper and anti bac spray. Have everything close by and accessible – it reduces the stress!
Keep a grid type diary: it’s easy to get fixated on the accidents, focus on the wins! I drew a simple table in a notepad (as shown below) and would complete it daily. Some days where I felt like I was changing pants multiple times a day, the diary gave me a good visual of all the successes we had! Maintain perspective. Don’t let one bad day mean you write the entire thing off (this goes back to the mindset point!). Each time he had a successful trip to the toilet, I would shade the third column in – having a visual really helped and encouraged me to carry on.

Reward jar/chart: though pricey compared to the standard reward charts you can get, we went for a wooden poo and potty jar which was recommended by a friend. It was such a brilliant investment as having a clear visual really helped Saajan. He was always excited to place a poo or wee shaped emoji in the jar when he had a successful trip. This jar also helped him with the words “wee wee” (he already knew “poo poo”).

A treat: Use an iPad/a phone whatever the heck you need to distract them!
Siblings: Get them involved! There were times where Saajan was more willing to listen to Arjun than us where it came to sitting on the potty. Arjun was very much a part of our potty training journey with Saajan – both in helping and encouraging him but also by celebrating his brother.

Role play: There were times where Saajan quite frankly couldn’t be bothered to sit on the potty. What really helped here was the use of role play – we’d get his Peppa Pig figurine or a teddy he liked to play with and ask if they’d like to go to the toilet. He’d get distracted by the toys and taking them and would always sit on the toilet after “taking them” (the antibac wipes come in handy here too!).

Alexa: ok, I laughed when lots of you suggested this but my goodness was it a huge help. It helped with point 4 above. I set routines to remind Saajan to go to the toilet every hour – some people may choose to play a song but we chose the option of Alexa saying “Saajan it’s time to go to the toilet now. Good boy”. It meant that I was able to remove one of the stresses from my own head and leave it to Alexa. We use our Alexa for many things but I’ll forever be grateful to her for walking this journey with me!

Celebrate: I mean really celebrate. For Saajan, we’d ask Alexa to play Baby Shark and we’d dance with him. He absolutely loved it.

Reward: Saajan loves yoghurt pouches so we stocked up on those and any time he’d ask for one, he was reminded to sit on the toilet. Throughout our potty training stages, he was rewarded with a pouch for whatever we were focusing on at that moment. E.g. when we were getting him used to sitting on his potty, if he sat, he got the reward.

So, here is our timeline for how things went down for us (remember every parent and child is different):

[4 weeks] Learn to independently pull his pants up and down. Due to Saajan’s lower muscle tone, he wasn’t able to pull his bottoms off for a while. From October – mid December Saajan was in pull ups at nursery to practice pulling his pants up and down. That was the sole focus for that duration. The purpose of the pull ups was not for him to learn to use the toilet, it was solely for him to learn how to pull up and down.
[2-3 consistent days] Learn to sit on the potty/toilet for a few moments and learn to flush and wash hands after. Mid December when we decided to whole heartedly go for it, we removed Saajan’s pull up all together and replaced with pants and for the first few days, we simply got Saajan used to sitting on the Heathfield chair. He had been sporadically sat on the Heathfield sometimes but it wasn’t consistent.
[3 weeks] Learn to relieve on the potty: Saajan began getting used to associating Alexa’s reminder to sitting on the toilet. He’d excitedly rush over and sit. The bonus was he’d have his tablet by the toilet to play for a few minutes. When Saajan was distracted, he did his first wee on the toilet a day after removing his pull up. We celebrated so so much and he was ecstatic at our reaction. After this, Saajan began urinating and pooing more frequently but it wasn’t without accidents! When we initially started, Saajan wasn’t overly bothered about being in wet pants – that worried me as I couldn’t help but panic about whether he’d “ever get it”. We had our first accident-free day about 8/9 days after removing his pull up. It wasn’t linear though, we had some days where he’d have several accidents and the odd day where he’d have none. As time went on, and the repetition of what we were doing set in, he became more familiar with the cues from his own body and responding to them. It really helped that the Heathfield chair was accessible. When he was having the odd accident, he’d quickly take himself to his potty, remove his own pants and try and swap them with a new pair before we saw LOL.
[2 days] Returning to nursery: we decided to send Saajan back to nursery in January as he is unable to access the curriculum from home. I was so nervous about how he’d get on as he was still having the odd accident at home. I packed his nursery bag with EIGHT pairs of spare pants! The first day, he had two accidents. But he was fine once he got back home. The second day he also had a couple of accidents but since then he’s not had a single accident! It’s now been 5 weeks since he returned to nursery. This has really helped cement his learning and potty training journey. I replicated a potty jar for him there for them to also use.

It took us approximately 4 weeks to successfully potty train Saajan and we no longer require Alexa’s reminders as Saajan is now able to identify when he needs to use the toilet himself. I was fully focused on the task and once the penny dropped, he did remarkably. It took lots of patience, perseverance and effort but it’s been so worth it! In the last few weeks, he’s perhaps had 2/3 accidents where he’s been distracted or hasn’t quite made it on time but we’re really really pleased with his progress. Next stop … nights!

I hope you found this helpful! Feel free to share with anyone else that may benefit!

Other resources: A really great Facebook group called DSUK Going Potty!

Disclaimer: This post includes affiliate links where I make a teeny tiny commission from any purchases.

Posted on April 25, 2020June 12, 2020 by Harps — Leave a comment

Us on BBC – Tiny Happy People, Playing with Sock Puppets

You can find our filming with the BBC for Tiny Happy People below 🙂

https://www.bbc.co.uk/tiny-happy-people/playing-with-sock-puppets/zkkqjhv

Posted on March 17, 2020December 28, 2020 by Harps — Leave a comment

COVID-19 Homeschooling Year 1 – Useful Resources

I’m sure I’m not alone in absolutely feeling a little overwhelmed with the thought of having to home school! I’ve been sent several resources and fun ideas and though I’ve not yet used them, I thought I’d share them all with you here. We intend on making Arjun’s home-schooling experience an immersive one but I know there’s going to be a very fine line between making it fun/hands on and reminding him that it’s still school! We will be incorporating some cooking, baking, some D&T and general life skills as well as – feel free to share your ideas with me please! I’ll continue to update this! Educational Resources: Twinkl BrainPop Oxford Owl The Imagination Tree Outschool Kids Learning Tube Facts & Learning: DK Find Out The Kid Should See This The Brain Scoop Fun & Learning: Toy Theatre BBC Radio Crafts/Creative: Redtedart Tinkercad Creative Bug Coding: Tynker Physical Activity: Go Noodle Cosmic Kids Yoga Science: SciShow Science Channel SciShow Kids Crash Course Kids Geography: Geography Focus National Geopgraphic Kids Nat Geo Kids For my own sanity, I’ve put together a timetable and while I appreciate that we probably won’t stick to it as strictly as I’ve put down, it’s good for us to have something to come back to. I involved Arjun in compiling it to ensure I incorporated his favourite parts of his school day (show and tell haha!). Day one went pretty well – it helped having a timetable to fall back on. We started with football in the morning and then followed the timetable loosely. As I’d scheduled in a whole hour for each subject, there was some “fat” embedded in to the time and it meant he got a break between each session. He did two worksheets per topic and I used the whiteboard to explain the basics so he was able to understand.

I’m totally aware that emotions are going to be heightened soon enough with frustrations mounting of being stuck at home so I’ve implemented a few things to try and help manage any outbursts while also praising positive behaviour. I’ve printed off a reward chart that Arjun’s school teacher in reception used which he was really motivated by – you start at green grass, progress to blue skies, sunshine, rainbow and then to pot of gold. I’ve printed out Arjun and Saajan’s names and will move them up to reward positive behaviour. Arjun was extremely motivated by his reward chart and it really kept his efforts focused on positive behaviours.

At school, they have a thinking tree in Arjun’s class if any child needs a time out – I’ve decided to use a thinking plant at home. And if we have any major outbursts, Arjun can escape to the den he has made in his bedroom for a timeout. I’ve also utilised an educational pack that the lovely Chan from Sparkle Stars sent us for Christmas for our “How are you feeling” board which I’ll ask them each morning.

And finally, I’ve stuck up an A3 sheet of paper and topped it with sticky back plastic to create a whiteboard 🙂

My view for the next “who knows how long”:

You can keep up to date with our progress over on insta stories :).

Posted on September 5, 2018 by Harps — 3 Comments

My Emotional Rollercoaster On My Biggest Baby’s First Day at School …

As I sit here having dropped my beautiful first born to school for the first time, I’m lost for words. My heart feels broken. I’m torn between guilt, excitement, sadness, anxiety and joy. How is that even possible?

Recently, I’ve been working really hard at managing my anxiety better but to be completely honest, the last few days have knocked me for 6. I’ve not been able to sleep during the night, which has reduced my mood further during the day and has heightened my feelings of sadness. I associate school with the beginning of the end of my little boy being my little boy. I associate it with him suddenly growing up – making more friends, learning a new found independence, which in turn means he’ll drift from me. I feel incredibly selfish for feeling this way but I can’t seem to shake it.

I’ve never hidden just how much Arjun has unknowingly been there for me. Through my own mental battles, he’s been my biggest source of strength and when Saajan was born, he was the person that literally saved my life. I don’t know where I would be without him. He’s such a caring and intuitive little person. For me, the thought of him drifting away from me, sets off alarm bells and my separation anxiety kicks in. I don’t let him in on how I’m feeling – I’ve been psyching him up for school even though deep down my heart has felt so heavy.

I’ve been used to having him by my side at least every Tuesday and Friday since he started nursery and I can’t imagine what I’ll do on the days that he used to be off with me. I know I have Saajan, but that in itself doesn’t replace my time with Arjun. I feel lost, sad and empty. I wish I could slow time down!

The truth is, we’ve dealt with change in the past – nursery, having another baby, having to move house temporarily. But all of those still meant we had an element of control. School feels different. Now our lives are regimented by the rules and regulations of the system. Now I can’t keep my baby home for the day if we feel like spending time with together, now I can’t sneak him out of school early for a quick ice cream like I could at nursery … things are going to be so different.

I feel sad that the boys are now apart. They are literally each other’s heart beat. They saw each other every single day when at nursery together and more than Saajan, I worry about how Arjun will cope without a little burst of love during his day from Saajan. Who will be Saajan’s little voice and advocate at nursery now?

Arjun isn’t your average 4 year old – he’s been through things that I wish he hadn’t had to – seeing his parents struggle with their mental health when Saajan was born, having to witness Saajan undergo open heart surgery and generally adjusting to a life that has become normal to him and includes regular therapy sessions for his baby brother. In turn, he’s become such a patient, compassionate and supportive well rounded little boy. But I can’t under play that sometimes he struggles to process his emotions and make sense of the situation. He’s 4.

The emotional rollercoaster we’ve embarked on since applying for schools for Arjun has been a tiring one. We’ve had to make some difficult decisions recently and it’s been a mental battle. It’s been exhausting and so confusing! Originally, we’d applied for a school that we really loved, but we’d also hoped that Arjun’s best friend would get in too (many of their neighbours attend and we didn’t think there’d be a problem). We were ecstatic when Arjun got his first place but it was short lived when I found out his best friend didn’t. I know children are resilient, I know children adapt … I’ve heard it ALL before which is why I decided to keep our decision private till now. You see, we know our child best, and we know that sometimes he can become quite an introvert when he’s feeling sad or worried. There have been times where Saajan may have had a temperature before bedtime and is feeling under the weather and Arjun will wake up crying in the middle of the night panicking to see his brother – it breaks my
heart.

He often speaks to his best friend at nursery about Saajan or about things at home and I’ve always valued that so much – that he has an outlet and feels he can share his feelings and worries with someone else. I was devastated that his best friend didn’t get in.

After weighing up the pros and cons and speaking to Arjun, we decided to put in a late application for the same school as his best friend as a) it was closer to home b) his mental health is more important to us than any amount of education and we felt the transition would be easier if he had his friends with him c) both schools had the same ofsted rating and we were happy with both. After applying, I decided to leave it in God’s hands.

When judgement day came, we had the upsetting news that he didn’t get in and had been placed on the waiting list at number 1. I was hopeful. When I called back a few weeks later, he’d slipped to place 4. My anxiety kicked in again but i decided to try and squash it and just focus on our holiday to Punta Cana that was near approaching.

The day before we were due to fly out, we received the letter – he’d been offered a place! I was beside myself, I was so happy, so grateful and everything felt like it had fallen in to place. Arjun was over the moon and couldn’t wait!

Although his first settling in session didn’t quite go to plan – he was a wreck, I knew we’d made the right decision as it would have been even harder had he not have had any familiar faces. We were also delighted to learn that by the time Saajan starts school, there will be another 4 pupils with Down Syndrome which means the school will hopefully be well equipped.

I’m so excited for Arjun to start this new chapter in his life despite my own selfish worries. I’m so incredibly proud of the little boy that he’s become – he has the most beautiful foundation through his life experiences and I can’t wait to see how he flourishes in a new environment!

He’s been challenging recently but I think it’s a sign that he’s ready for the next phase in his life – he’s ready to learn, he’s ready to grow and I need to let go …

This morning was pretty eventful! I’d prepared a home made morning reward chart for Arjun and had hoped it would help get him going … oh how wrong I was! He STILL dragged his feet and didn’t really understand the urgency of having to be somewhere by a certain time. He didn’t want to brush his teeth when I’d asked, or change his clothes, instead he wanted to lie down for “5 minutes with my family” but his 5 minutes seemed to have no end! As sweet as it was, it was also incredibly frustrating – I’m hoping he forms a routine quickly.

Anyway, we managed to get him dressed and out on time (with a pair of green pants that he insisted on wearing as thats his favourite colour lol) and he even managed a quick play session with his toys while he wolfed down his rice crispies. We managed to get in a few first day of school pictures – even that was a theatrical performance with him! Haha! He looked so stinkin cute but so grown up!

We’d made a card for his new teacher and got her a small gift – I think it’s easy to forget that it’s also a journey for teachers too. Not only do they arm out little heroes with a wealth of knowledge, but they’re also there to support them during the biggest transition of their lives to date. We wanted to show our gratitude.

He was so excited to see his friends and took to his new surroundings like a fish to water much to our surprise! He just about managed to say bye to us as he excitedly sat at the desk with his friends and began colouring in …

And so it begins …

Posted on July 19, 2018July 19, 2018 by Harps — Leave a comment

To Our Extended Family … The Staff at The Boys’ Nursery

How is Arjun on his way out of nursery and in to school already? I remember when he first started … Today was Arjun’s graduation – it was emotional. Really emotional. It signified so much for me, it doesn’t only signify a new beginning and the end of a chapter, it was a chance to reflect on how far he’s come as an individual and it really hit me hard how much he’s been through and how grateful I am to the support system we have. As I reflect on how much we’ve been through as a family these last 3 years, the boys’ nursery have very much had a strong presence in it. It’s true that God puts you in a situation but always ensures you have the right people around you to deal with it. I don’t know what I would have done without the management and the staff at the nursery.

They have held our hand on so many unknown journeys. From when he first joined nursery to when I fell pregnant to prepping Arjun in becoming a big brother, to facing the heart ache of watching his baby brother poorly at times. To comforting me when Saajan was born to helping put things in place to ensure he was also ok.

They didn’t do their bog standard job, no, they went over and beyond. They take Arjun to see Saajan most days at nursery – they understand his emotional needs. They care.

I couldn’t help but well up looking around and seeing the room filled with pictures today – the amount of effort the girls put in to their leavers assembly was a reflection of them – how they go over and beyond to make nursery a happy space for the children while dealing with all the crazy emotions and antics of 3/4 year olds! It can’t be easy.

I really took for granted how much the “little things” you girls did – Who will make all our personalised hand print cards on those all important occasions? We always received cards on mine and Preetam’s birthdays from the boys without prompting the girls. They always made the effort to know our family. So much so they have become like family.

I worry about Arjun when he starts school – it only dawned on me the other day when he had a settling in session at his big school how different it’s going to be. Who’s going to be there for extra cuddles when Arj is having a rough day or is feeling a little anxious because he noticed Saajan wasn’t quite himself the night before? Nicole, Arjun’s keyworker, has literally been like my right hand woman when it came to Arjun’s mental health and his wellbeing. She always makes time to speak to him if she knows he’s not been himself at home – ensuring she checks up on how he is – if anything is bothering him. He already tells me he wants to keep the same teachers he has already.

I don’t know what I’ll without them and I don’t know what I will do without them in Arjun’s life. It’s been so comforting to know he has a happy and comfortable environment at nursery as they truly have gone over and beyond for us – to provide me feedback at all hours, to reassure me and to work with me to try and manage situations. No amount of words can ever express my gratitude as a mother.

Arjun often comes home sharing stories about his teachers – how much he loves Emma, how worried he was about Nicole when she wasn’t feeling well, how Ashling has a baby in her tummy, how Bethany is one of his favourites and how Caitlin is really kind.

I look at my little boy today and how much he’s grown over the years, how much he’s developed. How much he’s had to endure, how resilient he’s had to become. He was described by the staff as “caring and compassionate” – I’m so proud to be his mummy. His life experiences haven’t always been easy but his support system has shaped him to be the little guy that he is today – caring and compassionate are definitely words i’d use to describe him (amongst many!!).

How he walked out with confidence and waved at us during graduation and how he was that kid that cried at every Christmas play (apart from last year!) to the confident little boy I saw today. Nicole, Emma, Bethany, Caitlin, Ashling, Laura, Rhianna and all the other girls that have helped him on his journey – a lot of that is to do with your hard work and patience. Coaching these little humans and pouring your heart and soul in to helping them figure life out.

I’m amazed at the job you do and really am so so grateful. Thank you for walking my motherhood journey with me and for holding my hand and supporting my son when I couldn’t always be there for him. I well up anytime I think about it – We will miss having you as his teachers more than words can express!

God bless you always and thank you, thank you, thank you!

Harps x

Posted on February 8, 2018February 9, 2018 by Harps — Leave a comment

Toddler Football Classes with Sport4Kids | Review

With Arjun now at the age where he expresses preferences and desire to try things, we jumped at the chance when he decided he’d like to try football. We had tried when he was younger (about 1.5) but often found the lessons were unproductive as he lost interest midway through the lesson and also perhaps he just wasn’t ready.

We were recommended Sport4Kids by a few of our friends and decided to give it a go. They offer several types of sporting activity not only football which is brilliant if Arjun decides he’d like to also take up another activity. There are 15 venues in the area and over 70 classes to choose from including football, rugby, dance and cricket.

We attend the classes at the Langley branch with coach Karun, coach Raj and coach Dan who are sometimes joined by a junior coach. The thing I love most about the classes and the coaches is their passion and enthusiasm never seems to be running on a low tank! Their love for what they do really shines through.

The classes are structured predominantly by age – 18 months – 3 years, 3 – 5 years, 5 – 7 years and then up to 14 years in the academy where the children get to participate in the Sport4Kids tournament in their own team, the Langley Lions, in external leagues. There is a focus on progress and ability over the child’s age, therefore age is not a barrier to progression – classes are based on development. Each child has their own record book where progress is monitored and once they have achieved 80% of a particular level, they are awarded a certificate and are promoted to the next level.

As opposed to being a free play session, the lessons are structured and based upon a comprehensive curriculum for each sport. The classes have a set structure – parents get to do some free play at the start, then there is The Welcome Name Game, there is then a pulse raiser to get the children active quickly as a warm up, then a fun section where the kids get to practice counting and doing funny actions, this is followed by a technical section where the children learn a new skill, they then put it into action in an exercise and they finish the session with a game or scoring goals or tries and practice their celebrations!

The personal feel to each session is really nice – each coach knows the name of all the children present and they celebrate achievements with so much enthusiasm. They are so gentle with the children and help those that may struggle with a particular skill with so much patience. With the supportive approach they also adopt a disciplinary approach. For me, what differentiates this school from the others is the passion and love shown by the coaches – in turn it has a knock on effect on the children’s performance and love for the sport and desire to acquire a new skill. Their vibrant personalities are by no means a fluke, Sport4Kids coaches are carefully selected for their fun personalities and entertainment genes to keep the children involved and engaged all the time. All coaches receive a comprehensive 16 week training program to qualify and this includes the Sport4Kids University and in venue shadowing where they get to follow the senior coaches and feel part of the party atmosphere. The time and effort required in becoming a coach means that only dedicated and passionate ones exist!

“The Sport4Kids Way” takes world class technical skills from each sport and breaks them down into pillars to forma comprehensive curriculum. Each skills or technical movement is broken down further into mini and micro movements so they can identify the fundamental moor movements.

The Sport4Kids Way is to adopt some of the Montessori and child psychology and development techniques so that they provide the children with fun and games which teach them these mini motor skills. This is done as part of a story and through analogous learning techniques where children have fun and build up core muscle memory that helps them develop naturally. Having fun and engaging children builds their enjoyment and passion for sport whilst they learn the technical stuff. Children love mastering skills and this in turn builds confidence and progression. I love how the coaches think of creative ways to make the lessons fun and engaging for example using a football net as a fishing net and pretending the football is Nemo and asking the kids to “flick” (skill of the month) Nemo in to the net. Being fun and creative means children are more likely to stay engaged and will be learning without even realising it! 😉 I have already seen this in Arjun after 4 sessions.

Each child has their own record book which we call the Practice@Home Book. This has all the skills for a particular age group and grades their levels of achievement as they progress. Parents can see what their child is doing and helps them develop their own knowledge to help the child develop at home. Parents are involved as they teach the parents about Practicing@Home and helping their child develop their skills, confidence and passion for fun filled sport. After Arjun’s first lesson, he asked his daddy if they could buy a football and cones to practice in the garden – the energy in the sessions has definitely fuelled his desire to want to learn further.

Sport4Kids is a club so later when the kids get to be part of the Sport4Kids Teams parents can help manage the teams and are provided with comprehensive training and support all the way through. There is very much a family and friendly atmosphere.

When joining, you also receive a football kit – Arjun refuses to go to football without it on! I also often pair it with football leg warmers in the cooler months from Baby Brain Apparel.

Arj absolutely loves his football sessions and frequently practices what he’s learnt at home. He has come a long way in terms of confidence and skill and we look forward to watching him grow further!

Disclosure: This is a partnership post however all views expressed above are my own.

Posted on January 18, 2018February 8, 2018 by Harps — Leave a comment

Sheraton Fuerteventura … Our Incredible First Holiday as a Family of Four!

It was our first holiday as a family of four. To say I was nervous to travel with a tornado toddler and a teething baby is an understatement! Preetam had wanted to venture out to paradise – somewhere like Jamaica. I’d suggested perhaps testing out travelling as a four on a shorter journey destination first! Also being so close to Christmas and Saajan’s first birthday, I didn’t fancy suffering with a week out due to jet lag and confused babies! We decided to go to Fuerteventura as it’s close, there’s no time difference and it’s a fab destination for a bit of winter sun. We were so impressed with Gran Canaria, we thought we’d try our another canary island!

We flew out via Gatwick simply as there were no flights from Heathrow on a Saturday. A blessing in disguise as we were so impressed with the hospitality and friendliness of the staff in addition to their extra service provided to families. The check in lady was absolutely lovely in reassuring Arjun that he’d be reunited with his luggage at the other end – he was having a melt down as he wanted to take our luggage on board the plane with us. We’ve done this so many times before, no idea what ticked him off this time!

There is a separate queue for families at security at Gatwick which we were so pleased about – we literally walked through and Arjun behaved so well – he had calmed down thanks to the check in lady (I really should have got her name!) who had gifted him with stickers. Again once you’ve walked through security, children are given stickers keeping him busy for a little longer!

In departures there’s also a soft play Kid Zone to keep them entertained while you wait which he played in for a while before he had a quick Nando’s breakfast.

We travelled with British Airways and thankfully it wasn’t a full flight – most of the back of the plane was empty which meant we had ample room to give the kids some space.

We’d ridiculously left the iPad at home by mistake so picked up a mini Samsung tablet (we’ve been meaning to get one anyway) at the airport. The iPad is used at times of desperation and as a last resort but given I was so so nervous about flying alone with a one to one ratio with the kids, I felt like I needed it!

I’d also picked up Arjun a small aeroplane set from the airport – it was actually really hard finding any toy so I settled for something with lots of parts – he loves role play and I knew it’d provide him with hours of fun.

Food wise we bought pasta and a few snacks from the airport for both the boys as we knew the food on board isn’t always great for kids.

Arjun was actually a dream onboard the flight (I wish I could say the same about the return trip!). He shared his toys with a very sweet girl on the plane, ate nicely and we didn’t even need the iPad/tablet!!! I couldn’t believe it! And he did that without sleeping a wink!

Saajan on the other hand was a bit of a pickle – just like his daddy, he can’t stand even the lightest bit of crowded heat! Preetam took him to the back of the plane to lay down where he was much happier and cooler!

Saajan was similar on the way back and Arjun was so so bored and wasn’t as interested in his magazine, the tablet or any toys! Thankfully it was a short flight!

Prior to arriving at the Sheraton Fuerteventura, I’d been conversing with them over email. They were beyond helpful with adhering to our needs. We were provided with all that we requested – a baby bath tub, a cot and a bottle steriliser. I found the staff very helpful and accommodating and it really did make our life a lot easier.

We went for a sea view junior suite for the extra room with the boys. The rooms are spacious but unlike most suites, this hotel combined the lounge and bedroom in to one separating the two with a television in the middle of the room. It took a little getting used to but actually combining the two meant that the entire space actually got used.

We were provided with an extra bed for Arjun (which he used to play on) and a cot for Saajan. Saajan was happy to sleep in his cot and Arjun jumped in to our giant bed (just like he does at home!). The bed was super comfy.

There was a dressing room which held all of our clothes – I loved how it was separated in to its own little room and it was large enough to store all of our clothed plus our suitcases.

The bathroom was separated over three rooms/areas. The one directly next to the dressing room contained a large room and mirrors and a his and hers sink area. There was then a glass wall separating that area from the bath tub which we used to give the boys a bath – it also had a Jacuzzi. There was also a shower included in this room. There was another small wall between the bathing area and the toilet which included a bidet.

Though the room was spacious, it could definitely do with some TLC – for example the bath tub required silicone and the ceiling had damp marks. The room also felt quite dated and dust had collected in the corners.

The location of this hotel was perfect for us. it made everything so so easy. The hotel is located on the beach and there’s a lovely walk way along the beach which we walked along every single morning. The beach was pleasant – there is a charge for the sun loungers but we were happy to sit closer to the sea on towels and enjoy the sea breeze while building sand castles! Thebeach was never crowded and we never had any issues finding a spot. There is a small shopping centre which has a Spar about a 5 minute walking distance from the hotel which we used frequently – one afternoon we picked up fresh baguettes, cheese, coleslaw and some salad and had our own picnic on the beach! There are a few restaurants at the shopping centre – we used the Indian one, Shivam Indian Restaurant, a few times as Arjun loves his desi food and we also ate at the Italian restaurant, Panna & Pomodoro, on the top floor which was delicious and had generous portions.

Given our mediocre experience of food in Gran Canaria, we didn’t have high expectations of the food at our Fuerteventura hotel but we were blown away by their dinner buffet! It was one of the best dinner buffets we’ve had – we really enjoyed their vegetable pie and quiche, the fresh selection of salads and vegetables and their chocolate bread and butter pudding was amazing!

The breakfast had a good selection for vegetarians – cooked breakfast, cheese, cereals and breads. I’d highly recommend their potato rostis! Delicious! There was also a selection of fresh juices and smoothies each morning. They also had ready made baby food jars.

The restaurant staff were incredibly friendly especially towards the kids – Ali and Diego in particular made a huge effort and it made the experience so much nicer.

I loved the outdoor landscaping at the hotel – I definitely have a preferred hotel type and this fit the bill! I love the large rocks and carved cave like feel surrounding the swimming pool. I also loved that the kids pool was right next to the main pool making it much easier for us to manage. There is a heated pool which was definitely required as there was a breeze. the kids pool is not heated so we didn’t take Saajan in there for long however Arjun didn’t seem to feel it at all! One of the things we loved most about this hotel was the number of sun beds and four poster loungers available – there was an abundance and there was no need to reserve beds and nor was it ever over crowded. we spoke to a few families that were visiting while we were who have stayed here previously and they said that even during school holidays there’s no need to reserve beds which was great to hear. There was no poolside food or drink service however there is a restaurant located right next to the pool and they were happy to deliver the food to your lounger if you ordered at the restaurant.

The hotel has a kids club located by the tennis court and the mini golf course, however as we went off peak, there wasn’t much going on and Arjun seemed much happier playing by the pool or building sandcastles at the beach!

The weather during December is around 19-23 degrees but there was a constant breeze requiring us to wrap up warm in the mornings and evenings and sometimes during the day. I’d recommend packing for all seasons when travelling to Fuerteventura during December. It’s known as the windy island even when it’s not winter! Our friends had warned us that some days would be cooler than others and had recommended we hire a car – we are so glad we did!

We managed to pick up a Hyundai i30 for a week including two car seats for £150 which was a bargain. We managed to visit several places and it gave us freedom to venture out as opposed to being stuck in doors on the days where it wasn’t suitable to be by the pool.

We visited the Oasis Safari Park which was one of the nicest zoo’s I’ve visited. it was a spontaneous decision on our first day and we had such a great time. The boys loved watching the sea lion show and it was our first time at a botanical garden full of different cactus’. Arjun’s favourite was seeing the crocodiles and Saajan’s was definitely watching the sea lions! You are also able to buy animal food to feed several animals while there.

The highlight of my trip was visiting the sand dunes – it was absolutely breath taking! There are miles of untouched white sand. We decided to stop off so that Preetam could have a quick splash in the sea. We ended up having a few hours of fun building sandcastles with literally only a lifeguard there. it was so peaceful and tranquil and it was one of the most beautiful experiences of my life. I felt really close to nature – away from all the hustle and bustle and stresses of life!

The country feels really spacious and not heavily populated – it felt really different to other places we’ve visited in that everywhere we went, we found we had ample space – the swimming pool, the beaches and even the roads.

We also visited Callejero – it had a market which had lots of clothing and handbags, larger shops and lots of food places. We stopped off at Hamburguesa where we had a beetroot falafel burger – the burgers were HUGE! They’re all homemade and tasted so good!

We also did a road trip to the mountains where we experienced breath taking views and got to see thousands of cute little squirrels.

Another top place to visit is Ajuy, the view was lovely but I’m not a fan of the rough black sand – Arjun was indifferent!

We would most definitely return to Fuerteventura and would stay at the Sheraton. We had a fantastic first family holiday as just us four where we created so many beautiful memories!

Posted on October 25, 2016April 25, 2020 by Harps — 5 Comments

Our Potty Training Journey, Tips and Advice!

I’ve had lots of messages asking about potty training and how we went about it. I’m not sure when the “correct” time to officially class your child as “potty trained” is hence why I’d not yet shared this post! It’s been almost 3 weeks since Arjun last wore a nappy and there definitely is no going back now despite the odd accident!

Here’s a quick over view of where we are at:
1. He now 90% of the time tells us when he needs to go and often will go to the potty/toilet himself
2. His accidents are usually when he’s distracted where he sometimes needs to be reminded to go or if he’s had a particularly bad day e.g. missing his daddy
3. 90% of any accidents he does have are at nursery
4. He’s become so helpful and independent – If he pees in the potty, he likes to flush it down the toilet himself!
5. He pulls his own pants up and down
6. We managed a day trip to Birmingham without any accidents
7. We managed a whole weekend of wedding functions and a birthday party at a trampoline park without any accidents
8. He can now sleep the night without a nappy on and has gone from needing a wee as soon as he wakes up to now being able to hold it in for at least half an hour before going to the toilet by himself

To be honest, it was a dream both Preetam and I had to get Arjun potty trained before baby number 2 arrives – the thought of having to change 2 lots of nappies was not appealing! I didn’t think we’d actually be able to turn it around and make it a reality though!

He’s now 28 months old (almost 2 and a half) and is communicating more and more. We began the process while Arjun and I were still living at home and to say it was difficult is an understatement. There is so much change going on in Arjun’s life right now AND we don’t have a toilet downstairs. We placed a potty downstairs for when he needed to go.

To be completely honest, he has really excelled since we moved to my parent’s house – I guess the four extra pair of hands doesn’t go a miss! My dad in particular made it his mission to get Arjun off nappies and his patience and perseverance has definitely made a huge impact!

Here is how we approached potty training:

Timeframe	Action
4 months ago	Arjun would sometimes tell us when he’d done wee in his nappy. He often told us when he needed to poo.
3 months ago	We began with periods when at home or grandparents with pants on and placing him on the toilet using a trainer seat every 30 minutes. At bedtime or when out we would put a nappy on him. We tried pull ups for a very short while and then decided against it. My sister is a nursery nurse and recommended we just stick to pants to avoid confusing him.
2.5 months ago	I informed nursery that he was ready to start potty training while there too and stocked up on lots of pants and ensured he had several changes of clothes while there. He had several accidents while at nursery initially but soon got the gist of things by copying his buddies. We continued with pants at home after nursery but still put a nappy on him at bedtime or when out.
1.5 months ago	One evening, Arjun decided he didn’t want to wear a nappy to bed. We fought it as we were so tired from sleep regression and having to change wet bedding in the middle of the night didn’t seem like fun. We put a nappy on him while he slept. Big mistake on our part. When he woke, his nappy was dry. He was still having the odd accident (I’d say 1 every 2-3 days when at home).
1 month ago	We moved to my parent’s house a month ago and soon after decided to ditch the nappy all together about ten days ago. Initially we would have to place him on the toilet every 30 minutes or any time he woke from a nap or had just had fluid. We still remind him but now he is much better at telling us.
3 weeks ago	Arjun went out for the first time without a nappy on for 3 hours. I invested in a portable toilet seat for when we are out as I sensed he didn’t feel comfortable without. We went cold turkey with the nappy and Arjun slept through the night without a nappy on and had no accidents. In the first week where we totally boycotted nappies, he had 1 accident during the night and 1 accident first thing in the morning when he’s woken up. Since then, he can now hold in his wee for up to half an hour after waking and goes to the toilet himself.
2 weeks ago	We did a day trip to Birmingham on the Sunday without any accidents and he told us most times when he wanted to go. The remaining he went when we placed him on the toilet. On the Monday, when he returned to nursery, he had a bit of a regressive day where he had four accidents during the day. He seemed to re-find his footing on Tuesday and touch wood things are back on track. Since then, we’ve had two accidents at home. Since then, he’s had several trips out armed with his portable potty seat and is really comfortable going out in public. We managed a trip to the farm without any trouble too!
This week	He managed a whole weekend of wedding functions and a trip to the trampoline park without any accidents. I was super proud of him! He’s become as lot more proactive with going to the potty by himself now and they have also noticed his progress at nursery where he wants to clear up after himself by clearing his wee from the potty in to the toilet and flushing himself!

It’s now been almost 3 weeks since Arjun last wore a nappy. Has he had accidents? Yes. Have they been unbearable? No.

Here are our top potty training essentials:

1. Stock up on pants, cheap pants: We stocked up on Asda pants for nursery which are 7 pairs for £2.50. The “nicer” pairs, I picked up from Primark and the character ones (Paw Patrol) from B&M Stores.

2. A toilet trainer seat: if we had a toilet downstairs, we wouldn’t have bothered with a potty. We ensured there is a Tippitoes Toilet Trainer Seat for the upstairs toilet at our house and at both grandparents houses. They are brilliant, secure and reasonably priced.

3. Reward charts: we haven’t used a reward chart as such, but we did get reward stickers and Arjun sticks them on his bedroom wall (and then peels them off again!). They also use stickers at nursery. We got specific potty training reward stickers.

4. Potty: if like us you dont have a downstairs toilet, place a potty downstairs especially at the beginning to minimise accidents and so that your toddler always has access to a toilet. There are lots on the market however we opted for 99p ones from Home Bargains! When Arjun is in the garden, we also always place a potty for him outside so he can go himself if he needs to. The distance from our garden to the upstairs toilet is a fair bit for a small person!

5. Get a portable toilet seat for when out: they are brilliant and come with a little plastic case to keep them in. Our one fits in our Skip Hop rucksack. We went for the portable folding travel potty seat. I’d highly recommend it!

6. Bed mats or a mattress protector: for night time accidents without ruining your favourite mattress!

7. Get a little stool: so they can climb up and down themselves.

I’m definitely no expert and we clearly have a bit of a while to go but here are my top potty training tips:

1. Wait until your child is ready: We judged this by when Arjun could communicate and began telling us if he wanted a nappy change. I did attempt before this but struggled, its felt a little easier since he’s been on board. It also helps that his new nursery room has potty training facilities for consistency and also seeing other children sitting on the potty made him want to do it too.

2. Spare pants and a change of clothes when out: Just incase you have an accident!

3. Don’t be scared: What’s the worst that can happen?! They’ll have an accident! So what, change them!

4. Let them choose their pants: when home, we let Arjun choose which pants he’d like to wear. His favourites are the dinosaurs, footballs and Paw Patrol.

5. Wear pull up bottoms: such as jogging bottoms or leggings. Nothing too fussy so that they can pull their own bottoms up and down. Encourage them to be independent but always be there to offer a helping hand! I let Arjun wipe his bottom after going for a number 2, but will always do it for him after.

6. Boys and their bits: tell him to tuck it in unless you want an accident!

7. Plan your outings: ensure you place them on the toilet before you go out, as soon as you reach your destination, during your trip and as soon as you get home.

8. Routine: if you feed your child at the same time everyday, they will probably have a routine. Arjun poo’s before 10 after breakfast and around 4pm like clockwork most days.

9. Don’t use pull ups: it’s confusing for a child to distinguish between pull ups and a nappy. Arjun treated it the same as a nappy.

10. Go cold turkey on the nappy as soon as possible: keeping the nappy seemed to be confusing for Arjun and he’s done much better since we’ve given the nappy up.

11. Make toilet time fun: Arjun and I always have little conversations or sing songs when he’s on the toilet to make it more fun.

12. Praise praise praise: if he has an accident, I never tell him off (as difficult and frustrating as it can be at times!) – I’m pretty sure he’d prefer not to pee in his pants but it’s bound to happen! Instead I remind him of what we do. When he does go on the toilet, I give him lots of cuddles and praise. My dad also treated him to a present as he was so proud the first night he went without a nappy.

13. Follow your child’s lead: let them guide you. When Arjun told us he didn’t want a nappy on at night, we should have listened!

14. Remind them they are wearing pants: I especially do this during the night and when in the car!

15. Get everyone on board: it’s honestly been so much easier because I’ve had four extra pairs of hands to help me. I know this isn’t the usual family situation, but if you can get family members on board and set up for when you visit their homes, it’ll be a lot easier.

16. Get nursery on board: Arjun spends three full days there and although most of his accidents happen there, I’m grateful that they are persevering. It also helps as several other children in his room are also potty training.

17. Regular toilet time: although Arjun now tells us when he wants to go, we still ensure we place him on the toilet at least once an hour to remind him especially when he’s distracted.
I’d love to hear your potty training tips and any other advice!

For those mamas embarking on the same journey, good luck, be confident and don’t be scared!

Posted on October 14, 2016October 14, 2016 by Harps — Leave a comment

We Did It! … We Went to the Farm Alone Today!

Big deal right?! It is in my world.

It’s the first “proper” challenge I’ve faced alone with Arjun since being pregnant. I woke up this morning wondering whether I should take him out given he’d been cooped up inside all day yesterday. I came up with so many reasons to not go …

He always wants to be carried since finding out we’re pregnant

He’s now off nappies, what if he had an accident?

What if he runs off? I don’t have his reigns with me and even if I did he hates them on.

What if he had a tantrum?

What if he didn’t sit still through lunch?

To name a few! I really didn’t expect myself to take him – I always come up with these great ideas and they very rarely materialise. I was especially put off as a few days ago a friend and I popped in to Matalan and he refused to play ball. He wasn’t necessarily “naughty” in the tantruming sense (not at the beginning anyway), instead he was running away from us and I found it all a bit stressful. I couldn’t imagine doing that alone with him. I must have forgotten about that Matalan incident and had a moment of madness when I decided to get ready to go.

I was invited to give my opinion on “fussy eating” on the BBC Asian Network radio this morning. As soon as I was done, I started getting dressed without thinking quickly before I could talk myself out of it. I packed his bag armed with two spare pairs of bottoms, a few pairs of pants and his collapsable toilet seat. I really really have a deep desire to do these things with Arjun but my lack of confidence and fear always wins. I really don’t want my children to miss out because of my own issues and I’m so conscious time is flying and one day I’ll regret not making as many memories as possible. Plus while I’m at my parents, it’s the perfect opportunity to test the waters as I have that extra support when I got back.

I told Arjun we were going to see animals and he excitedly began (trying) to dress himself whilst singing baa baa black sheep at the top of his lungs! He was super excited and it made my heart feel whole.

As we were driving, he fell asleep. I panicked. I even thought about turning back. The local farm is only a 15 minute drive from my parents. What if he had a tantrum when I woke him up as his sleep wouldn’t be complete?

I managed to convince myself to carry on and I’d deal with it when we got there if that situation arose. When we arrived, Arjun woke up himself and excitedly squealed. I got him or the car but he decided he wanted to take his tool box with him which was packed with paint (don’t ask!). He had a huge meltdown when I said he could as I knew I’d end up carrying it around. It wasn’t the greatest start and I felt apprehensive straight away. I decided to pick him up before he threw himself on the ground. I always get told not to lift him but what am I supposed to do in those situations?!

Once we got to the front desk, he was perky and happy again armed with a carton of SMA and Peppa Pig breadsticks. I got him some animal feed which he was equally excited for – despite struggling to hold everything, he refused to let me help him.

We had such a nice time walking around – he liked the goats, pigs and chickens but was pretty scared of the cows and sheep as they were pretty noisy. As soon as entered the farm he was obsessed with finding the rabbits. I love that he has preferences and his own likes and dislikes now and that he can express them. We had the added bonus of Heathrow airport being down the road and so being able to plane spot at the same time! He also got to have fun on the bouncy castles.

We were there for about 40 minutes once we’d been around and I was contemplating leaving when a lovely staff member who’d seen us earlier informed us that they were doing an interactive animal session. She mentioned rabbits AND snakes. I’m terrified of snakes but I know Arjun loves both of those animals and I didn’t want to deprive him of it.

I am so grateful to that kind lady for stopping us as it was one of the most joyful experiences with Arjun. He sat with my arm wrapped around him clutching at my hand as he listened with intent to them telling us about the animals. He loved stroking the snake, guinea pig, rat (!!!!) millipede and especially the bunny rabbit. He wasn’t so keen on the water dragon and frog though he did have a “ribbet ribbet” conversation with the frog lol. He was a little apprehensive about touching the snake at first which meant I had to put on my big girl panties and my brave face and show him I wasn’t scared to touch, he then followed. That little snippet made me realise how much his confidence will rely on mine. How he probably watches my every move and a lot of how I feel will be brushing off on to me. It saddens me as I feel he is being punished for my journey.

That aside, we had a really lovely afternoon. He was too tired for lunch so I picked up a take away on the way home and just enjoyed my lunch as he’s in deep sleep!

I feel so proud of myself, and so proud of him. It wasn’t easy but it wasn’t difficult either. I can’t imagine ever doing it with two kids but maybe I’ll surprise myself one day.

Oh and we didn’t end up using the spare change of clothes or pants but we did use his toilet seat 🙂

Posted on September 26, 2016September 26, 2016 by Harps — 8 Comments

The MAD Blog Awards – The Night We Won Best Preschool Blog!

Hi guys!

I can’t believe it’s been over a week since the unimaginable happened and it STILL hasn’t quite sunk in – my teeny tiny blog with the randomest ramblings and Arjy’s lunatic antics won Best Preschool Blog in the nation’s biggest blogging awards – the MADs!

It feels so surreal and the last few weeks have been a whirlwind! I really can’t believe it! I feel so overwhelmed by all the love and support we’ve received both before the awards and after – I feel like we’ve all achieved it together as soppy as that sounds! Thank you all so much for riding this journey with me and becoming my blogging family. It means the world to me that people I only know through the blog and family and friends alike took the time out to vote for me – it really does mean so so much.

The awards night … I was feeling really apprehensive about going – a swanky red carpet event in a London hotel and I wasn’t going to be able to share our success of reaching the finals and the evening with my loved ones. We weren’t invited to take a +1 which meant I’d be going as a lone soldier! It would’ve been so lovely to have shared my achievements with my biggest supporters – my husband and my Arjy.

Being pregnant, big and tired all the time, meant I didn’t have the energy to meet up with my fellow blogging buddies beforehand but had planned to meet them there at the event. Despite coming across as confident at times, I’m a little mouse deep down and new situations freak me out! I found the whole experience a little daunting to be honest!

One of my blogging besties, Stacey, had won tickets to come and support me on the night but unfortunately was hospitalised the night before (she’s doing much better now thankfully!). I was excited that Prabs from Absolutely Prabulous, a fellow Punjabi blogger from Malta, was going to be there and I was super excited to meet her in person – since we first started talking through blogging, she became my big sister and it feels like I’ve known her for ages!

In preparation for the awards, there were complimentary hair and make up sessions available prior to the awards at the hotel, I decided to get my hair and make up done in the comfort of my home from the lovely Paven. You can check out what I wore, and my look in my blog post here.

My darling husband offered to drive me all the way to London despite feeling like absolute sh*t due to a nasty virus. I felt really bad but we both knew the chances of me making it in one piece on public transport were slim lol. I’m not very street wise when it comes to TFL! Also, I didn’t fancy prancing around on the tube dolled up. I get flustered at the best of times! We thought leaving an hour and a half would be ample time in arriving at the Royal Garden Hotel in Kensington but we just about made it (due to my misdirection and traffic!) for the drinks reception which started at 6.30pm.

I felt super nervous about walking in to the drinks reception but was welcomed by the warmest face of Sally Whittle, founder of Tots100 – the ones who had organised the evening, in the lift.

During the drinks reception, I got to meet some very familiar faces (thanks Instagram!) and also some new faces:

Prabs from Absolutely Prabulous – just as hilarious in real life as online. She’s pint sized but full of life! It didn’t feel like it was the first time we’d met for real, I feel like I’ve known Prabs for years just like I thought!
Talya from Motherhood Real Deal – there are no words. Absolutely hilarious! Talya is Prabs’ blog wife and together, they kept me in fits of laughter all night!

Photo credit: Tom Arber

Emma from Brummy Mummy of 2 – she’s a Facebook sensation with her very real posts of motherhood and oh so funny!

Detrice Matthews who was so super friendly, lovely and instantly made me feel calm by being in the same nervous boat as me!
Julia from Rain Beau Belle – a blogger that has managed to both break my heart through documenting her family’s journey through battling with her husband’s cancer which sadly took his life, and made me smile through her positivity and strength, what a woman. She was so down to earth and lovely in real life too.
Alison of Complicated Gorgeousness – I’d not come across Alison’s blog before but was so glad to have met her. I instantly felt a very warm vibe from her!

I was lucky enough to be sitting with Prabs and Talya and we had lots of laughs during the evening and they also realised I’m just as potty mouthed as they are despite how “lady like” I may appear on the blog (?!). We had some lovely other bloggers at our table too and in total table 12 won 6 awards! Lucky table or what!?

We were served a yummy dinner as soon as we entered the main hall – good call! Which was then followed by the awards.

Helen Lederer of Absolutely Fabulous hosted the night. I had scoped out the others in my category a few days before and felt like I had 0 chance of winning but I was so proud to have come so far. I’d even written up my Facebook status in my notes as I was so sure I wasn’t going to win. All of those in my category were absolutely amazing with a really large following and a heavy presence.

It felt unreal seeing Baby Brain Memoirs up there on a huge screen as a finalist, I felt really proud – not something I feel often! I had a quick flashback of the last 2 years and how far I’ve come on my journey through motherhood and riding the highs and lows and how much my blog has helped me to capture the most beautiful memories. To be even sitting there as a finalist amongst bloggers that have been doing it for 5, 7, 10 years even was crazy. I almost felt undeserving!

My thoughts were quickly interrupted by the lovely Amber from Goblin Child’s voice as she announced the winner…

“Baby Brain Memoirs” followed by a cheer …

WHAAAAAT!!!!

My eyes almost popped out and my jaw literally dropped to the floor – you’d literally need a shovel to pick it up – “a missed Kodak” moment as described by Callum at our table! I couldn’t bl00dy believe it!

OMG, I hadn’t prepared a speech!

OMG what if this was the point that my dress split open!

OMG what if I trip!?!?

OMG my legs feel like jelly!

Prabs and Talya showed their enthusiasm loud and proper as my name was called, in a somewhat giddy state I managed to get up and somehow waddle on to stage. It felt like the longest walk ever – I couldn’t figure out if I was dreaming it or if it was really happening!?

It felt so unreal and overwhelming. I’m so grateful to have won an award for something that started off as an outlet for myself – my blog has become a lot more than what its original intent was thanks to you guys.

More than the award, like I said on Facebook (the edited status after I’d found out I won!), each message I receive from readers of the blog, are worth more than an award. If I’ve managed to help even one person feel “human” then I’m a winner.

Photo credit: Tom Arber

I didn’t have a speech ready as I wasn’t expecting it at all, I was dumbstruck when my name was called out and as a result my speech was a random bunch of mumbled words and I didn’t get to mention everyone (partly because it felt weird thanking my family and friends who weren’t there to hear it!).

Thanks to the girls, I managed to get a tiny video of the whole thing (though I’m slightly cringed out by it!).

Given I didn’t get to do a proper speech, here are my “proper” thank yous! I know I haven’t won an Oscar, but I’m grateful nonetheless and like every other thing I’ve journalled through my blog, I want to journal this too!:

I am eternally grateful to God for showering me with endless blessings and for providing me with a support system even when I have been placed in tough situations. I’m a firm believer in my faith and remember God in every moment of my life.

Thank you to my wonderful son for blessing me as your mother – I think it was Kim K (sometimes she does talk sense!) that said a child chooses its parents. I count my blessings daily and feel so lucky to be able to call myself your mummy. You amaze me and fill those around you with so much love and joy – even those that haven’t ever met you. It’s been a bumpy ride because of my own internal battles, but you’ve made it so much easier by holding my hand and being my constant and for inspiring me daily.

Thank you to my husband for supporting me since the get go, for encouraging me to share my experiences, for fighting against any resistance associated with it being a taboo in our culture to talk about our struggles. Thank you for being by my side always.

Thank you to my biggest cheerleader – my mum! I remember when I published my first blog post how proud you were of me. You have always believed in me and your prayers have always helped get us through.

My dad and beloved sisters – for being a constant pillar of support, for never failing me. Goov for being my chief editor (I’ve had some pretty epic typo fails!) and creative director (lol) and Harv for always cheering me on and celebrating even the tiniest things. To the rest of my family for being so supportive and loving and getting involved!

To my amazing friends, especially Sav and Amrit who are ALWAYS there to pick me up when I fall and to celebrate when I’m on a high. I’m lucky enough to call you my sisters.

And a huge thank you to my blogging family – both fellow bloggers and blog readers for being my extended family and for carrying me through so far! To Kat from Eat Love Live and Stacey from Mummy and the Bubbas for being my soul sisters and celebrating with me from the heart; Rod from Modern Dad Pages for always supporting me both with Baby Brain Memoirs and Apparel – it was because of you I started my first linky! And to Jen from Mamazou for just being you! To my readers for sharing your experiences with me, for allowing me to be a part of your lives as well as you being a part of mine. For your words of wisdom, your love and your kindness and for your votes!

Endless love to all of you.

Sorry for making it sound like an Oscar’s acceptance speech, but for me, it is a really big honour and I’m so touched and humbled by it.

Here is a thank you message from Arjun (translates to “thank you everybody, thank you much, we won”!:

As well as my shiny little trophy, all the winners also received beautiful flowers from MoonPig – the blog sponsors and I was also lucky enough to receive a gorgeous new baby hamper from Hippy Chick who sponsored my blog category – I’ve always wanted a little wicker basket and its contents are definitely going to come in handy when baby number 2 arrives!

A huge congratulations to all the other finalists and winners. What an achievement! And a huge thank you to the Tots100 team for organising such a lovely evening!

Here are a few pictures of our celebratory dinner the next day!