Category: My Sikh Roots

Hello all!

I hope you’ve had a wonderful week!  We had a rocky start to ours since Dubai!

We got back and Arjun had terrible diarrhoea. Preetam landed feeling pretty unwell too and I had a huge pile of washing to deal with! On top of that Preetam had to pack for a trip to New York with work departing two days later and I had to get mine and Arjun’s stuff packed to spend the week at my parents whilst he was going.

It was challenging to say the least with all of us feeling really jet lagged and a little unwell. By Sunday Preetam was feeling much better which was great timing for New York. That night I went to bed feeling fine, I woke up at 2am and felt really hot and odd. I woke up and went to the bathroom and felt like I was about to pass out – I vomited about 7/8 times and had horrible diarrhoea. I don’t remember the last time I felt so ill. Preetam woke up at the sound of it all and panicked with his flight just a few hours away.

I felt so rough. All I wanted was my mum. Preetam called my mum in the early hours of the morning and she came over. I’m such a big baby and it’s weird; even thought I’m now a mummy, I still take so much comfort in my own mummy. My mum came to my rescue (she knows I’m a drama queen) and to help with Arjun.

Later on, we made it to my parents in one piece with Preetam dropping us off and I slept pretty much that whole day. My body was aching. I really admire those women/men that bring up their children single handedly without any support. I couldn’t even look after myself let alone a baby! It felt so nice being in the comfort of my parents home with mum and dad running around trying to make things as comfortable as possible whilst also managing Arjun.
Preetam was a little emotional saying good bye when my dad went to drop him to the airport. The thought of being away from Arjun for even a day broke his heart. Plus the added stress of us being unwell but he knew we’d be well looked after.

Goov was also unwell (recovering from the same bug that had appeared to have knocked us all down!), so it was really nice to have her around even though we all pretty much spent the whole day in bed! Haha.

The first two days of us being at my parents was me trying to recover whilst the others took care of Arjun. It’s amazing how much a child changes you. I remember when I used to get sick before I had him, if I felt unwell, I wouldn’t care about fluids and food if I didn’t fancy it. Now that Arj is here I was drinking water like there was no tomorrow and was eating little bits to help me recover faster even though I had no appetite and felt so rough.

Harv had taken the day off on Tuesday which was great timing. Her energy always keeps Arjun entertained and she’s also very up and go.  We popped in to local shops just to have a browse and to buy some basics like wipes. The fresh air did me some good. We had hoped to go for a walk that day but a quick trip to the local shops had pretty much wiped me out.

Arjun enjoyed being outdoors but it was the first time I’d taken him to a shop where he can sit in the trolley with someone. When it’s just two popping to a local shop (eg Toys R Us), it’s ok as he’s facing me but this time the moment Harv or I went behind him he kicked off :/! Harv ended up giving in and carried him around the shop – not something I would’ve chosen to do! He’s hefty and a workout wasn’t what I’d bargained for lol.

Preetam FaceTimed us daily multiple times as he missed Arjun so much. He was so worried he’d miss out on a crucial milestone (Arjun’s close to crawling) or that Arjun would forget him!

I was nervous the first time we FaceTimed as wasn’t sure how Arjun would react – was nervous especially because of his separation anxiety but he was ok. He didn’t really acknowledge the face on the phone screen (perhaps because the screen was dark), but he did look around the room searching for his daddy’s face without tears thankfully.

After a few days,  Arjun began smiling and trying to grab the phone when he saw his daddy. Touch wood he wasn’t tearful though! I think his Masis and Nanaji and Naniji did a fab job at keeping him busy/distracted. It was probably a lot harder for Preetam being away from us as he was alone whereas we were occupied. We missed him lots though especially the first few days.

In the mornings, my mum and dad would daily take Arjun to Babaji’s room and to do paat with him. We are blessed enough to have Maharaj at my parents home. Those moments are invaluable for Arjun and that time with his grandparents is priceless. I’m so blessed to have parents that are so involved with the Gurdwara, Seva and Simran. Arjun was so calm in the mornings and attentively watched my mum and dad’s faces as they recited paat. Nanaji would then make him his breakfast and they’d sit together whilst Arjun fed himself and Nanaji had his tea. Just watching them melted my heart and brought tears to my eyes – I have no idea why I’ve become such a crazy emotional old bag!!

My Mamiji took half a day off from work to spend some time with Arjun which ended up being a really lovely chilled out day. We decided to go to Toys R Us to check out baby walkers and then an impromptu trip to Costco. It was so fun taking Arjun to Toys R Us as the last time I took him, he was asleep and to be honest had I been alone I wouldn’t have tested things out. But because I had my Mamiji and my mum, we trialed and tested some baby walkers and found his favourite! And Sod’s law it wasn’t in stock!

I’ve heard lots of negativity around baby walkers which is why I didn’t get one before about how it can affect a baby’s walking and curl their legs inwards but after researching and speaking to friends I decided to give it a go. Especially given he won’t be in it for longer than 15 minutes a day!

Arjun was full of smiles and giggles at Toys R Us and was super excited to have his Nanis with him.

He fell asleep in Costco in the trolley which was really dinky – he used my mum’s jumper as a pillow!

We spent Arjun’s 8 month birthday at my Rano Masis. It was a really nice chilled out afternoon with tea, Masi’s famous samoseh, mogo and lots of laughs!

They have an Akita and initially Arjun cried when he saw her. Probably because she looks like a big cuddly bear compared to Bruno! But he quickly warmed up to Nikita and kept flinging his body towards her.  She’s a gentle giant and wasn’t too bothered by Arjun being there.

Arjun got lots of love and kisses from his Rano and Gudo Nanis (who also later joined us). He’s also particularly animated with his Sabby Mamaji who’s quite patient and attentive. Probably a nice break from all the women! Haha!

Bhavan got some practice in too before her little bubba arrives – it was cute that her baby responded to Arjun’s little bum squished up to his/her mummys belly!

That evening we were supposed to go out for dinner but we were all pretty shattered so the twins and I decided to order a sneaky cookie dough from Pizza Hut. Oh boy it was delicious but I could literally feel my tummy and love handles grow!! Even my elasticated leggings felt tight!  It was nice having that treat and over indulging though. I miss doing silly sisterly things.

Arjun showed different sides of his personality so much this week – or I noticed it more! He was extremely cheeky one evening where he decided he felt sorry for Chico and would feed him his banana when he thought no one was looking! I love seeing his quirkiness coming through.  He has such a little personality shining through now and I fall more and more in love with him each day!

 

There were really precious moments – him doing paat with my parents was definitely one. Another was one evening when he was supposed to be going to sleep, he was half asleep on the bed and every so often he’d open his eyes and then to look at my sister and look lovingly in to her eyes and smile for ages. This went on for about half an hour till she was literally in tears because of how sweet it was!

Our final day we spent doing lots! The day started off with my dad taking Arjun downstairs for breakfast. Once I was showered and dressed, I went downstairs to find my dad, Arjun and Chico all sitting together having breakfast. It was so sweet!!

Our family friend Olivia popped by mid morning to see Arjun, Chico was equally excited to see her! It was a quick meet as we had to rush off to see my grandparents – I hadn’t had the chance earlier on in the week to take Arjun as we’d been unwell and I didn’t want to pass on our germs.

It’s always lovely watching my grandparents interact with Arjun – they suddenly light up and are filled with energy. He has a really special spot for my grandma – he always reaches out for her to pick him up and with my granddad he’ll watch him attentively.  Arjun also tried to talk and gave them lots of cheeky smiles. My granddad was generally talking about how a mother is like a second God to a child – that’s exactly what my mum is to me. I wonder if Arjun will feel the same way about me when he’s older?!

After my grandparents house, we took Arjun to the Gurdwara. It was nice going with my mum and dad. Arjun has definitely developed so much just from the time before we’d taken him (just before Dubai). He sat there looking at Maharaj and just absorbing what was going on around him. When he saw his Nanaji walk in, he tried to crawl (and miserably failed) towards him. He also got to have some langar this time – he shared Nanajis roti with him 🙂 He ended up in the Gurdwara office with my mum’s buddies and loved meeting all these new people and checking out new places. I’ve mentioned before; I love going to the Gurdwara, it always brings some element of calmness and balance to my mind.

After the Gurdwara my mum and I popped to Southall Broadway to pick up a few bits, Arjun slept the whole way which was handy!

When we got back, our neighbour Bina Aunti came over to see Arjun. She’s seen me grow up as they’ve known my parents since before I was born. We also took a trip down memory lane! So this week has involved lots of reminiscing and lots of happy memories.

Preetam arrived later on that evening. When he returned Arjun looked everywhere but at him. I’m not sure if that was his way of showing his daddy he was mad at him for leaving or whether he actually didn’t realise Preetam was there! Lol. But put it this way, since last night the boys have been inseparable and Preetam even demanded Arjun sleep with us last night!  They spent the evening going through all the clothes daddy bought Arjun.

I’m missing my parents home already. It’s strange how you spend 20/30 odd years living there, and it all goes by so quickly and before you know it I’m married with my own child in my own home. As much as I love my life now, I miss my life then too. I miss waking up and not being the one in charge of everything around the house, having the comfort of my parents there constantly – they are my strength, having my best friends living with me – my sisters.
Becoming a mother and a wife definitely means I have a new found respect for my mum. Even whilst I stayed there, watching her cook, clean, run errands and help take care of Arjun just made my love and respect grow for her – I’m half her age and still don’t have half the energy she does! She’s amazing. On top of that she’s awake at 2am daily to do her paat, go to the Gurdwara at 4am for Simran and then if she’s lucky she’ll get an hour or two sleep when she’s back. Whilst we were there she didn’t get the extra few hours sleep! I wish I could be half the woman that she is! A true inspiration and I’m blessed to say that she’s my mum x

The smallest things took me back to when I was living there – the smell of Goov’s perfume, the way the sun hits the room in the morning, hearing dad call out to Chico in the mornings to go for a walk, dad making me tea and toast in the mornings (his toast tastes the best), Harv and Goovs bickering in the mornings – all those things to name a few gave me pockets of nostalgia.

Lying here in bed in my own house and totally welling up!! I love them all so much. Although I’m lucky enough to have my family 15/20 minutes away from me, life changes after marriage. Your responsibility grows, your family grows and you grow. I’m blessed to have such loving in laws who have made the transition easier.
To all the unmarried women out there living at home; make the most of your time with your parents and family,  once you’re married you’ll miss it beyond words can describe! And unfortunately there’s no such thing as a temporary time machine lol.

So glad and grateful to God that we’ve been able to give our parents the gift of a grandchild. It’s the least we could have given them given how much they do for us!

Just before we left for Dubai, I thought I’d include a few bits that got left out as I didn’t do my weekly memoir whilst on holiday.

Arjun attended his first baby shower for his Bhavan Masi. It was a lovely shower with lots of food and fun – I missed out on all the games as ended up sitting in the other room with the other mums and babies whilst we tried to put Arj to sleep for his nap.

Arjun really enjoyed it – I hardly saw him other than when it came to nap time as he was busy socialising with everyone. He was the only guy there surrounded by women!! Even all the other little babies were girls.
He was loving the attention from the elders and especially from his Mamajis at the end.

We are so excited for Bhavan and cannot wait to welcome Arjun’s baby brother or sister in to the world! 🙂

Arjun also had a spontaneous play date with his twin buddies Kaeden and Tiana. They are such adorable little babies and Arjun interacts with them so well. It was so cute watching them share/steal toys from each other, giggle at each other and try to babble to each other. Kaeden and Tiana’s mummy Baljit is someone I draw so much energy from. I admire her so much – she’s an incredible mother who she oozes positive energy and is someone I love being around.

 

He also had a visit from his pooji and fufarji and especially enjoyed munching on jumper strings!

How was your week? What did you get up to?x