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One of those days …

Hello all,

I hope you’re all well and are looking forward to the weekend! It’s Friday! Yay! 

I’ve woken up feeling pretty exhausted, confused and anxious. Generally a low mood kinda day – the weather doesn’t help either. Seems to be reflective of my mood! 

Yesterday was my most challenging day with Arjun in a while. I didn’t really recognise my son at all and I don’t know if this is the new “him” or if it was just a bad day. 

We had his friends E and Josie over for lunch after a while. The girls were happily playing for the most part and Arjun usually loves being around other babies but yesterday he must have burst in to tears every five minutes (no exaggeration) for no apparent reason. He’d be laughing and then suddenly out of no where start crying. Usually he’s so happy especially with other babies. I didn’t really understand what was wrong – which made me feel like a really rubbish mum. How could I not know what was wrong? They say you “just know”, why didn’t I “just know”?! I tried a few things but nothing seemed to settle him. He’d cry and put his arms out to me when I approached him – that made my heart melt. No mother likes seeing their baby cry. 
He’s also become really sensitive. If another baby even flinches or appears to be upset, he’ll start crying. Or if he sees another mum tell their baby “off”, he’ll cry. How will he cope at nursery where he’ll be surrounded by other babes riding through different emotions throughout the day?! 

I’m so thankful to my NCT friends who are so patient and supportive. I never feel like I’m being judged around them and as we’ve been in each other’s lives since the beginning of our motherhood journey, we’ve grown together as mums which has been a blessing. 

I almost burst in to tears seeing him with other babies and not smiling. What will he do at nursery when I’m not there to comfort him?! What if he doesn’t like it? What if he spends all his time crying? My mind was running in over drive and I felt so panicked and suffocated by the thought. I don’t want to leave him anywhere. I’m completely filled with anxiety where it comes to sending him to nursery now. I thought he’d love it as he loved other babies. That was my source of comfort. I really don’t know how I’m going to do the whole going back to work and leaving him at nursery thing. I’m also filled with anxiety where it comes to returning to work too. But right now that’s been overshadowed by my fears around leaving Arjun. 
He was the same at the mendhi function we were invited to for our family friend Taran in the evening. He’d be smiling/chilling/playing and suddenly he’d burst in to inconsolable tears though he was much better than he had been during the day. It was nice as Taran’s family are all super baby friendly. He didn’t even seem to settle for long with Goov which wasn’t like him. 

He was unrecognisable to most yesterday. I didn’t know what to do with him. We assumed it was his teeth and bonjela seemed to help with that. The only thing that seemed to distract him for long enough were the aunties dancing! He was probably wondering what on earth his Nani was doing haha!
He also resorted to hitting me yesterday when i redirected him from danger/”told him off” which was really upsetting. He’s never done that before (not with intent anyway!). I know it’s probably normal and all kids probably go through it at some point or another but he isn’t even 1 yet?! I don’t know how to deal with that? When do you start disciplining a baby? And how?! What if he ends up being a child that runs riot even in public? I feel so nervous and stressed. Am I doing something wrong as a mother? 

I hate feeling right this when returning to work is so close. I have four weeks left. I had planned on it being fun filled. I really hope yesterday was just a bad day and not the start of a new phase because I honestly don’t know how I’ll deal with it. I know I probably sound like an idiot even going off in panic mode based on one day but unfortunately that’s how my brain works. 

He’s still fast asleep now – he’s probably exhausted from yesterday. Will keep you posted on how our day unfolds. Praying and hoping for a happier one!

 

Any tips would be most welcome x

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You Know You’re an Indian Mum When…

As passed on by our Mothers, Masi Jis, Mami Jis, Grandmas, Pua Jis, Chachi Jis, Thai Jis, the random aunti at the Gurdwara and any other passing Aunti! … A huge shout out to you all. I love you!

1. Panjeeri (a concoction of nuts and other super foods and stuff) is the best thing since sliced bread – out with the cravings, in with the panjeeri. 

panj

2. Your kid is destined to be a doctor or an investment banker from the moment they’re conceived … All by the age of 11. 

smarty

3. You’re a prisoner post birth for 40 days – as if you weren’t physically confined enough whilst heavily pregnant. That means no stepping foot outside of the house. For 40 days. Yep.

jail

4. Apparently eating ghee helps stimulate a smooth labour if ya catch my drift 😉

5. You can never wrap your baby up too warm. Ensure you have ample storage for rajai’s/blankets. Probably my baby brain again but apparently we’re living in the North Pole.

blankets

6. Have a pint .. Or two! .. Of milk that is … Apparently that’ll give your baby a clear complexion. Totally makes sense.

milk

7. Sohnf Paani (boiled water with fennel) is the shizzle! Whether you like it or not – it’s the ONLY drink you’re allowed. It’ll solve all your problems (a dodgy tummy, a flat tyre, a broken down washing machine etc) … And baby’s.

bob

8. The “you’ve gained a bit of weight haven’t you” comments – no kidding! I only carried another human inside me for 9 months and I’m sure it’s nothing to do with being force fed panjeeri, ghee and full fat milk?

simpson

9. From the moment you conceive you’re bed bound, like pregnancy is an illness, too delicate to move. You might strain yourself lifting the remote to turn Star Plus off. The doctors are crazy telling you to walk up and down.

fattty

10. You’re automatically susceptible to an “evil eye” and these are warded off by burning chilli. I don’t know about an evil eye but mine choke and cry a river from the fumes!

All in jest guys!

Do you have any others?x

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My First Daunting Experience of Taking Arjun to a Party Alone!

Hello all, 
I hope you’re having a good week so far despite the not so happy weather! 

On Saturday, Arjun was invited to Eva and Ryley’s 2nd birthday. It was a soft play party and wasn’t too far from home. This was going to be my first experience of taking him to a party alone. It was really daunting. I usually have Preetam or my sisters with me just because I feel I need them. I think that stems from when Arjun was first born and the fact that I was physically exhausted and felt broken and bruised from the whole labour experience which meant I was unable to do much for Arjun in the first two weeks. Those two weeks resulted in my confidence really being knocked. Even till today. I’m so eternally grateful for the help I receive especially from Preetam and my sisters.

I packed Arjun’s bag and dressed him in comfy clothes so he could play freely. We set off and arrived pretty quickly. As we got there and I approached the car park and saw the “pay and display” sign. I realised I had limited change for the pay and display meter. Great. What a start I thought. Arjun was fast asleep so I managed to scrape together a few pounds to get a parking ticket. “£2 for 4 hours” is what I read. Perfect I thought! Not such a bad start after all. I had exactly that. I popped the money in feeling pleased with myself – I love it when a plan falls in place, I clicked the big green button and heard the sound of my ticket being printed. 

PANIC. 
The ticket’s expiry time was 5.05 (only an hour and a half!), what happened to my four hours?!!!! Oh gosh, I felt flustered and panicked. I had no more money! Plus what would happen when it hit 5.05?! The party was due to finish at 5.15. Was I supposed to bring Arjun back out with me to top up again?! With what money?! Should I just leave the party a little earlier?! That would be rude plus what if we are right in the middle of something?! Why does stuff like this always happen to me?! I swear I’m a sh*t magnet!!

My thoughts soon came to a halt as I spotted a traffic warden and marched up to him fuelled with disapproval that his silly machine wasn’t working. Thankfully Arjun was still asleep in the car during my mini ordeal. I asked the warden with confidence why on earth the machine had spat out the wrong ticket. To my embarrassment, I had read the machine wrong – it’s £2 for 4 hours for those who hold a local residents card. I of course had left mine at home. I felt so stupid. How did I not read that? I didn’t know what to do. All those questions rushed back in to my mind and at the same time I was really aware that the party was going to be starting. If you know me personally, you’ll know I really don’t like lateness (when in ones control). I felt so hot and bothered. 

The traffic warden watched from a distance while he jotted down info from other cars. He must have thought I was a right loon. I decided to just go inside and ask Shivani if I could borrow some money to top up again at 5. What choice did I really have? 

As I got Arjun out, the traffic warden watched. “Your car isn’t parked in the yellow box” he said. Oh FFS I thought! Thanks for telling me once I have a half asleep baby in my arms! The Range Rover does require a little attention when parking but I was so preoccupied and worried about not having enough money for the ticket that I didn’t pay much attention. As its a little larger than my last, the back side of my car was ever so slightly out of the box. He saw my face – which probably looked like I was ready to give up, keel over and collapse (I’m not even being a drama queen lol). I think at that point he felt pretty sorry for me – which isn’t normal for traffic wardens that are driven my commission! He told me not to worry and to bring him my ticket over. I suddenly became really paranoid, was he going to be mean and give me a ticket as soon as I turned around?! I didn’t really have much choice at that point so just went along with whatever he asked. I handed over my ticket, he punched in some numbers in his little handheld device; scribbled some unlegible bits on my ticket and told me to pop it back on my windscreen. So I did. He had extended by ticket to 6.15. I was taken a back by how nice this stranger was being to me. What a palaver! I really hoped this guy was genuine and wasn’t lying and that he’d restore my faith in humanity – he could be my silver lining in that mini ordeal. 

Now that I was parked (albeit dodgily), armed with my baby, gifts and change bag, we were ready to go in (finally!). I felt like I’d done a full on cardio session by this point. I was knackered. I know it sounds so minor and actually typing this out I feel a little silly because it does sound a bit ridiculous, but at the time it felt huge and so overwhelming. 

We went in and said hello to Shivani and the babies. I suddenly felt really nervous. I didn’t actually know anyone else there. What if people judged how I am with Arjun? What if he started crying?! I felt a little overwhelmed to be honest. But I was soon comforted by smiles and small talk from fellow mums and dads. 

We haven’t taken Arjun to soft play since he started crawling so I didn’t realise how much harder it is chasing after him (while dodging the other children). He is super speedy and has a mind of his own! He enjoyed the ball pit playing with Shivani’s nephew and also enjoyed his first experience of a trampoline. He seemed so happy and bright. 

     

  

  

  

  

 

Eva and Ryley looked absolutely gorgeous and I’m amazed at how much they’ve grown since we first met them when they were 8 months old in Dubai. Time has passed by quick! Arjun managed to get some playtime with the birthday boy and girl too – he loves Eva and Ryley!

   
  

 

Arjun really enjoyed his dinner there and was one of the last babies to finish – definitely my son! Haha! 

   

Arjun had a great time and if anything it really increased my confidence (and exhaustion!) or at least proved I could do it. I really enjoyed meeting other mummies and daddies – especially two of Shivani’s cousins that also have twins who were really welcoming. I have a new found respect for mums with more than one baby, because I just about manage with one!  Shivani is an amazing mum and I’m so glad we met because she understands me so well. 
And oh, I didn’t get a ticket 🙂 Nice wardens DO exist! 🙂 x

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My 30th Birthday – Part 2 & 3

Hello all! 

Hope you’re well and had a great weekend!:) 
I know my birthday was weeks ago but I thought I’d share what I’ve been up to since we got back from the Maldives! 

I celebrated with my family and my in laws at Blue Zenzer which is an Indian Italian fusion restaurant located on a golf course. It was the perfect place for the occasion – the atmosphere makes you feel uber chilled out combined with the hustle and bustle of a slightly fancy restaurant in London!

I had a really nice day celebrating my nearest and dearest. We had lunch and Arjun was passed around the table lapping up the attention. This was the first time that we had all gone out for a meal since Arjun’s been born. It’s crazy that it’s taken so long! Now that I have a baby, I feel like I have a real measure of how quick time passes. 

   
 

The food was yummy – my favourite is the chilli cheese garlic bread and spicy mogo. Arjun enjoyed his pizza and a few chips. 

   
 

When it came to cutting my cake, Arjun decided to get stuck right in and pulled off all the chocolate sticks before I even realised what he was about to do! He then decided to chomp on one – his first taste of chocolate and totally out of my control! No surprises – he really liked it! 

   
          
 

After our lovely lunch and catching up, we decided to play golf. We headed to the driving range and everyone got involved. This is something I really love about my own family and my in laws – everyone is fun and up for anything! The boys took it pretty seriously whilst the mums and us girls had more fun laughing at each other. I was pretty impressed with the mummies – they were able to at least hit the ball unlike me(!). Arjun even got involved! He found it really funny every time someone was able to smack a ball. 

   
        
 

All in all, I had such a lovely day with the people that matter the most – family. 

  
Part 3 of my birthday was a surprise day out with my sisters and best friend, Amrit. I knew we were going out and was told to dress “nice” – whatever that means, but I didn’t know where we were going. Considering I mainly live in my trackies and hoody at home (Tom boy at heart), it was actually a nice change to get dressed up though my feet would tell you otherwise this morning! 

I got ready and was picked up and we drove in to central London. Our first stop was afternoon tea at The Dorchester. My initial reaction as I walked through the lobby was “wow”! The decor is absolutely stunning! The hotel reception and the afternoon tea area is adorned with huge marble pillars, breathtaking floral arrangements and gorgeous Victorian style mirrors – it’s all gorgeously grand and right up my street. I loved it. 

 

The Promenade
http://www.tripadvisor.co.uk/MobileViewPhoto-g186338-d1071328-i37674721-The_Promenade_at_The_Dorchester-London_England.html
 
The staff were exceptionally lovely and all so welcoming. 

Once seated and settled, I went for The Dorchester brand English breakfast tea (because I’m proper exciting!) which was delicious though Harv’s hot chocolate looked pretty tempting too! The sandwiches were really yummy – my favourite was the mango chutney and cheese one. Not something I’d normally go for either. They catered for vegetarians really well. The caramel and chocolate wafer cupcake was my favourite sweet thing followed by a hazelnut mousse type cake and the scones! The staff also brought out a chocolate cake to mark my birthday which was really yummy too. 

   
                         

All in all, I’d really recommend afternoon tea here, we had a lovely afternoon and it’s by far one of the best teas I’ve been to. We had a lovely relaxed afternoon whilst catching up. It was so pretty. 

After The Dorchester, we went to browse some make up and food (two of some of my favourite things!) at Harrods. I picked up some marmalade, Chanel eyeliner and chocolate! 

   
     
After Harrods we headed to part 2 of the day – we drove to Coco Nail Bar in Notting Hill. I loved the idea! It’s basically what it says on the tin – somewhere where you can get your nails done and have a drink too! A nail-bar!

  
I went for a paraffin wax manicure as I’d never had one before. The ladies at the bar were so accommodating to ensure we had a good time – they even suggested rearranging the seating so Amrit and I could face each other while talking haha. We all had a great time getting our nails done whilst sipping on mocktails. I went for the colour “cute as a button” by Essie. 

   
 
I’d highly recommend the paraffin manicure – it really helped restore moisture in my hands which were pretty dry as I suffer from eczema sometimes and have been since coming back from the Maldives – I think I need to emigrate, it’s too cold for my hands here!  

  
The Coco Nail Bar is a really nice place to go for some girl time. They can also arrange for hen parties. On a Tuesday morning they accommodate for mums with babies if given enough notice, they arrange for a nanny to come in while you get your nails done. 

After getting our nails done we decided to grab some dinner as we were really hungry by this point. We all fancied a burger so we went to GBK before returning home to be greeted by my little monkey. 

   
 

Arjun and I had cuddles in bed before I put him to sleep – It was the perfect end to a perfect day with my lovely sisters and bestie who have been by my side through my highs and my lows. I felt totally spoilt and so blessed. 

  

I’ve had a fabulous 30th celebrating with my nearest and dearest – I feel super blessed but now with June officially here, it’s time to get my skates on for Arjun’s big day!x

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Baby Brain Weekly Memoir … 29th May 2015 … Lots of Family Time!

Hello all! 
This weeks been quite a chilled out one in comparison to last week!
We started the week off by attending my friend Ruby’s chunni/engagement ceremony. She looked jaw droppingly gorgeous! 

   
 
It was so nice to spend some time with other mummies and their babies. Some of which have two! Although I went to sixth form with these girls, I rarely get to see them and it’s really nice when I do as we often share our stories and end up sharing useful advice too! 

   
     Arjun was pretty much glued to daddy the whole night and it was way past his bedtime so he was pooped pretty quick! 

  
We spent a lot of time at dada and dadis this week and even had a sleepover with Arjun’s Mané pooji who was staying over too. It was so much fun and bought back memories from when I first got married and when Mané was still living at her parents before she got married. I miss the days where my mother in law, Mané and I would go off on random missions together be it cooking something, going shopping or for pedicures! It felt just like old times and Arjun really had a great time being fussed over. He loved spending time with his grandparents, playing with poojis toys and stealing Indy chachus food! But most of all he enjoyed his chats with Junior! 

   
           

   

He even got an extra treat – his little Pua came to see him and he laughed so much with her. Ramneek spent lots of time entertaining Arjun and had so much patience with him. He adores her. Arjun even created his first masterpiece with his two puas – though his clothes were covered in more felt tip pen than his drawing – thankfully they were washable! By the time Arjun’s Sarub Chachaji arrived, Arjun was pretty pooped! 

   
       

http://youtu.be/5IMikgXTY9w

http://youtu.be/1Jw7uT4Mkio

While staying at my in laws, Mané, Ramneek and I even managed a quick shopping trip whilst the grandparents baby sat and we also all had a movie night which was great fun. Though I’m not sure I’m cut out for 1am finishes anymore! 

  
  
We were also visited by my friend Sav this week. As usual, she had all the time in the world for him and he spent a lot of the afternoon chasing around after her (or her him!).  

   
 Not very often for us, but Arjun and I ventured out for a walk and cafe breakfast this week. I don’t often take him to places out alone and this was the probably the second time we ate out alone just the two of us! The only other time was at Westfield I think! Arjun had a cheese toastie and I had a veggie breakfast. It was really nice and I hope as my confidence increases so will our outings alone. 

   
 
This week also marked Arjun’s 11 month birthday. If you haven’t seen his update, you can here. 

  
How was your week?x

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Breaking Our Co-Sleeping Habit … Perseverance, Patience and Plenty of Caffeine!

As some of you may know, last week was a really tough week where it came to sleep (or the lack of it!). I was suffering from severe holiday blues, jet lag and a baby that made himself a little too comfy in our bed! On top of that, he had this new found energy (perhaps it was the vitamin D overdose from holiday!) which I was really struggling with. I felt really low and felt like a terrible mum – I didn’t understand why I was finding it so difficult to be around Arjun alone. I felt like a stranger when I looked in the mirror, but at the same time I recognised the person I was. I’ve felt like this before and I end up in a wallow of self hate. I don’t think my tiredness caused by the co-sleeping helped my mood or confidence so I decided to attempt to nip the issue in the bud.
Continue reading Breaking Our Co-Sleeping Habit … Perseverance, Patience and Plenty of Caffeine!

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Arjun’s 11 Month Update … A Month a Full of Bruises and Tumbles!

Wow! 11 months! How did that happen? 
I cannot believe that this time next month, Arjun will be a year. I’m really struggling to absorb that. My terrible memory means that everything just feels like a big fat blur! I have one month left till he’s a little toddler! 

We celebrated with a (or two to make an “11”) homemade cookie crumble “sundae” which I made using baby rusks, hipp chocolate mousse and Heinz baby custard. We helped Arjun eat it – It tasted yum!
Continue reading Arjun’s 11 Month Update … A Month a Full of Bruises and Tumbles!

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Guest Post: Q&A with Dr. Chris Whittle

Hello all, 

I’m super excited to be working with Dr Whittle on hosting a Q&A guest post on all things baby/pregnancy. 

Thank you to those of you that sent in questions for Dr Whittle. He has chosen the top 5 questions and answered below. We hope you find this useful! 

Harps x
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Baby Brain Weekly Memoir – 22nd May 2015 … Masis Birthday, Playdates, Willow’s Farm & Guru Arjun Dev Ji Shaheedi Gurpurab

Hello all! 

It’s been a full on week but we’ve had lots of fun! 
On Sunday we visited Willow’s Farm with Arjun’s buddies and our friends. We had an absolute blast. I’ve been meaning to do a separate review on Willow’s Farm and will hopefully get it done this week! After Willow’s Farm we went for a meal at Chiquitos. Siana, Taran and Taranvir are some of Arjun’s first buddies so it’s so nice seeing their relationship grow and it’s fascinating to see how they interact. Arjun is so excited by them all and especially finds Taran entertaining – probably as he’s around the age mark that I’ve mentioned before Arjun seems to take to! 
Continue reading Baby Brain Weekly Memoir – 22nd May 2015 … Masis Birthday, Playdates, Willow’s Farm & Guru Arjun Dev Ji Shaheedi Gurpurab

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Personalised Favour Milk Carton/Nappy/Box – Gift from a Baby Idea

Hello all! 
As you’ve probably gathered, Arjun is extremely close to his Masis (my sisters, his aunts) so when it came to their birthday, we had to do something special! It wasn’t easy thinking of something as we’ve done the whole picture thing numerous times – not that you can ever have enough pictures – especially with the collection of selfies they have with him!
Continue reading Personalised Favour Milk Carton/Nappy/Box – Gift from a Baby Idea