Harps is an award winning blogger who shares her remarkable journey of motherhood after experiencing post natal depression and an unexpected diagnosis of Down’s syndrome. Her readers have often coined her words “relatable” and “warming”.
Last week marked the Gurpurab (birthday) of our first Guru and the founder of Sikhism, Guru Nanak Dev Ji.
Guru Nanak Dev Ji’s basic messages were:
“Kirt karo”: earn an honest days labour
“Naam japo”: always remember God like a mother always has its baby in her thoughts to fight off the five vices known as kaam (lust), karodh (rage), lobh (greed), moh (attachment) and ahankar (ego)
“Vandh ke shakhao”: share what you have and always be humble
He also rejected the caste system and believed in equality both between religions, castes, men and women and rich and poor.
It’s really important for me that Arjun grows up knowing about our religion and roots. While I’m totally open and embracing of other cultures, especially living in England, it’s also really important for me to ensure we mark such occasions to the same degree as we do others such as Christmas.
I always try to mark special occasions in Sikhi such as Guru Arjun Dev Ji’s birthday and Vaisakhi even if it’s just visiting the Gurdwara.
Last year for Guru Nanak Dev Ji’s birthday, a few friends and I took our (what were then), babies, for a day out and afternoon tea (more for us mummies!). After a few hours play at Snakes & Ladders, we all shared valuable lessons of Guru Nanak Dev Ji and learnt so much from each other. It was a really special day and something we promised we’d continue to do each year. They’re coming over this weekend to celebrate in our Winter Wonderland where all the mummies will tell stories about Guru Nanak Dev Ji and we’ll have a little crafts session around equality.
This year, on the actual day, I was really unwell with sinusitis and barely had any energy to do anything but I was determined to go to the Gurdwara with Arjun. After dropping him to nursery, I listened to blissful kirtan on Desi Radio on my journey home. It was beautiful and I ended up sitting in the car parked in the drive to carry on listening because I just didn’t feel like moving! I felt so calm and peaceful.
The night before, the DIY Winter Wonderland went up – we thought we’d decorate the house early for Christmas to also celebrate the birth of Guru Nanak Dev Ji.
As I wasn’t feeling too good, I happily played creative director while allowing the others to decorate and jumped in every so often (mainly to fix there mishaps hehe). We’ve included a picture of Guru Nanak Dev Ji in our Winter Wonderland too.
Arjun was ecstatic when he saw it and was so overjoyed. He kept cuddling me and kissing me. It was adorable! He squealed with excitement and couldn’t contain himself – I’ve never seen him react like that before. It made it so worth it!
His Gurpurab gift was a cute little Bosch tool belt to match his daddy’s. He’s obsessed with tools and “fixing” things so we thought this would fit!
We just about managed to get to the Gurdwara with my sister to do matha. He insisted I held him all the way up to Maharaj (Guru Granth Sahib), got down and did matha by himself and then stood up with his hands together infront of Maharaj. It was so so adorable and I felt so proud of my little boy. I wish I could have photographed it! I literally had to pull him away (and had to deal with a few kicks as a result!).
We listened to kirtan for five minutes, or tried to anyway! Arjun was up to his usual antics of running up and down the path to do matha – I’m definitely STILL THAT mum at the Gurdwara! He enjoyed his langar and insisted on breaking his roti (chapatti) himself.
I was so glad we made it to the Gurdwara although it wasn’t for as long as I’d hoped.
Our first stop on our dual destination holiday was Singapore. We’ve visited Thailand and Malaysia already so I was pretty excited about visiting Singapore. I’d heard lots of good things! Our holiday was made up of 2 nights in Singapore, and 8 nights in Bali.
Due to the time difference, we were pretty pooped when we got to Singapore! We left London at 11am and arrived at Singapore 8am local time so we pretty much lost a whole night. It was Arjun’s longest flight to date! I managed to get quite a bit of sleep on the plane but the others were less fortunate (it definitely wasn’t my snoring keeping them up! Haha!).
We stayed at the Sentosa Golf and Spa Resort by Sofitel. The hotel is set on beautiful grounds and there are many peacocks wandering adding an additional splash of colour. We were welcomed in our room by one on the balcony!
The rooms were clean but not overly spacious like we’re used to with a baby. We were fortunate to get interconnecting rooms with my sisters which meant Arjun had a little more freedom to run around. It also meant the passage way to our rooms could be used to store his buggy and bag. I especially liked the bathrooms which came with a big shower and bath tub.
The hotel is located on the beach but we didn’t get the chance to visit the beach. As we were only in Singapore for two nights, we didn’t get to make the most of the hotels facilities which was a shame. The pool looked gorgeous – it’s a shame we didn’t get to use it but our plan was to make the most of exploring Singapore in the few days we had there and to relax once we arrived in Bali.
Arjun had fun exploring the open corridors of the hotel!
The breakfast selection was great, they had continental, Indian, Asian to name a few and they had a great selection of fresh juices which Arjun really enjoyed. I was pretty excited to see him eating like his old-self on the first morning. However it was short lived! He was back to his shrunk appetite soon after.
I was really impressed by the hotels attention to detail where it came to Arjun. Not only did they provide a cot, baby bath and also baby cups but at breakfast they also bought out a plastic plate and cutlery for him. I’ve not seen that before so was really pleased by it.
Be wary when arranging a taxi here, the prices from the hotel are extortionate! A local blue taxi is much cheaper. Our airport transfer was $150 but a local taxi was $55.
Things to do in Sentosa:
Viva Shopping Centre: we popped by here on our first night as somewhere to visit for dinner. It’s like a regular shopping centre with lots of high street shops and local eateries.
Universal Studios: It was super easy to get to Universal Studios from our hotel. We took the complementary shuttle bus to Viva Shopping Centre and then took the Sentosa Express from there straight to Universal Studios (it’s one stop!).
Initially my mum and I weren’t going to go to Universal Studios, we were instead going to go shopping. At the last minute we had a change of heart and decided to join the rest of the family and we were so glad we did! We had such a blast! The last time I visited universal Studios was in America about 10 years ago. I’m always so impressed by the level of effort it must take to build a place like this. The detail in the figurines, rides and set ups must be immense and it really pays off given how much awe you see on those around you as they wander through different lands. You can’t deny that there is a buzz and excitement in the air and it definitely made me feel like a big kid again!
Arjun was fascinated by what was going on around him. There was a lot to absorb, the huge real life characters, the hugest dinosaurs he’s ever seen, different backdrops and scenes bursting with colour and excitement, it was a bit of sensory overload! He loved seeing the huge dinosaurs at Jurassic Park Land and his favourite thing was playing in the water fountains beneath them! I didn’t mind as it was a pretty hot day and he needed cooling off! He also loved Shrek World and playing with the toys in the Shrek shop.
He even got to meet a baby dinasaur called Diana!
As we went on a Tuesday, there were pretty much no queues for any of the rides so we got to see most things. I’m not an adrenaline junkie, infact I really dislike rollercoasters so I skipped a few of them! I did however go on the Enchanted Airways (from Shrek) ride (I kept my eyes shut the whole time!) and my favourite ride was the Transformers simulator ride which felt crazy real even though we were pretty much in the same spot! Amazing what camera tricks and a simulator can do to you!
We took Arjun on the merry-go-round and on the Madagascar ride but he clearly wasn’t impressed! He’d probably enjoy the Madagascar ride when he’s a little taller so he can properly see what’s going on around him. He wasn’t allowed to sit on our lap so his view was probably the security bar infront of him with the tip of the boat as the backdrop for most of the ride!
Arjun got lots of attention here with lots of people wanting to take a snap with him! He embraced it with lots of smiles and waves (as he does!).
We had lunch at the Diner and I was especially excited as they had a veggie burger option there. It was delicious! I’d also recommend the cheesy fries.
We had a really great family day out at Universal Studios. The park is small enough to get around in a day provided there are no queues. There are lots of places to eat and lots of food carts to keep you hydrated and fuelled!
There are also lots of eateries just outside Universal Studios – famous places like Chillis and The Hard Rock Café.
Silat Road Gurdwara: When we are abroad, we always try and locate a Gurdwara. My parents go to the Gurdwara daily here in the UK so for them, a huge chunk of their life is missing when they are away from home. We visited the Silat Road Gurdwara which was 5 minutes away from the hotel. It was really calm and tranquil. There was a really nice atmosphere as the people doing seva (free community work) were chanting simran at the same time. Arjun really enjoyed the langar but insisted on feeding himself – there was more rice on the chair than in his mouth!
Arab Street: My mum and I couldn’t resist! We decided to get in a spot of shopping before our plane took off for Bali. We’re suckers for fabric and had been told Arab Street was the place to go. It cost us $12 to get to Arab Street from the hotel which wasn’t bad given it was about a 25 minute ride. All the shops on Arab Street pretty much sell textiles and fabric. There was lots and lots of it! However it wasn’t necessarily cheaper. We both bought a sari, some loose fabric and I also purchased a new top. It was ok but I’m glad we didn’t miss out on Universal Studios for it as we were done within an hour!
All in all, we really enjoyed our short trip to Singapore. I hope to visit again! x
We had such an incredible time and without a doubt this was one of my favourite holidays of all time.
I had originally planned on not using my phone much whilst out there and to be honest I didn’t. I only used it when in the hotel room. I felt so free. It wouldn’t be the same sharing my holiday with you after the event. I want to take my blogging family with me through my journey – holidays included in real time! I had planned on not blogging at all while away, but I ended up doing what I love best as I found my blogger brain was able to write a lot better while away! Blogging by the sea/pool is a lot more fun! This was the first time I actually switched off from everything at home but was able to dip in and out of it without feeling pressure or stress.
I know Bali has a lot more to offer than we were able to see given the restrictions with a baby but we loved what we did see. And the main purpose of our trip was to relax which we definitely did. We spent ten days in Bali and although initially I had thought that was quite a long time, it was actually perfect. We thoroughly got to enjoy ourselves and truly relax as we had ample time.
I even managed to get a photoshoot in with Arjun to model some of my new kid’s tee designs which you can find at Baby Brain Apparel!
Let me start off with our arrival in to beautiful Bali – it started off somewhat chaotic. I would strongly recommend arranging a taxi via your hotel prior to landing. It didn’t feel as straight forward and easy to arrange a taxi at the airport and there was also lots of room for being ripped off. We were quoted $35 for a taxi and $55 for the same thing. In hindsight, it’s something I should’ve organised beforehand. It had totally slipped my mind!
As soon as you enter Bali, it’s bursting with culture. It’s full of a colourful rainbow of flowers, stunning architecture and beautiful statues. I didn’t manage to take many pictures due to the taxi fiasco!
Once we finally managed to arrange two taxis to accommodate six (plus a minute) and all our lugguage, we arrived at the Grand Hyatt and were instantly wowed. The lobby itself is so stunning – the tall ceiling with the beautiful white pillars with pockets of beautiful fish filled ponds dotted all over and the spectacular view of the sea in the distance behind a curtain of gorgeous pink flowers was definitely a welcoming sight!
Our first impressions were “wow”. Arjun loved the space and it didn’t take him long to start charming the staff! We’d been told the likes of Barack Obama stay at the Grand Hyatt so we were hoping for good things.
The rooms were really spacious and the staff were great at accommodating our requests of having our rooms located next to each other. We had an interconnecting room with my sisters which worked out so well for so many reasons a) it meant Arjun had even more freedom to run around b) he had a daily ritual of spending his evenings after dinner with them and would walk back in to our room once he’d finished playing c) it meant they were able to jump in and help us if needed. It also meant we had lots of laughs together.
Our rooms overlooked the sea and we woke daily to the view of soft waves. It was a lovely way to start each day. The beds are big and comfy. We didn’t end up requesting a cot as Arjun slept in the bed with us.
One down side compared to other hotels is that I had informed them we were travelling with a baby and would require a baby bath but we weren’t given that and to be honest I forgot as Arjun just ended up having a bath in the main bathtub.
The bathrooms are beautiful and really spacious. I especially liked be idea of open showers as it made the room look even bigger even though it often looked like a swimming pool once I was done showering! Ha!
I was really excited for breakfast and had really high hopes! I was a little disappointed by the breakfast buffet but that may be my own fault for not managing my expectations. I had assumed it would be similar to the Maldives – fresh jams and juices. There wasn’t any of that.
The jams were from a jar and fresh juices were not included as part of the buffet. That was a real shame. I haven’t been to a breakfast buffet in years where fresh fruit juices aren’t present – especially in a place like Bali where the fruit is so delicious and readily available.
Otherwise, the staff were very accommodating to vegetarians and would ask if we wanted anything especially made. We asked for paronteh one day and sautéed mushrooms daily as well as hash browns. They were very accommodating at all restaurants to dietary requirements which was great.
The spread of breakfast wasn’t as great as I’ve seen elsewhere but it was definitely sufficient. I’d still say hands down the most amazing breakfast for spread and taste was the Park Hyatt in Goa if you ever visit Goa!
I can’t commend the staff enough, they were all so super friendly and were so attentive to Arjun too. He had a daily catch up with his waitressing buddies each morning which involved running around like a lunatic with them playing chase!
The main swimming pool (of 5!) was absolutely breath taking! It’s made like a lagoon with lots of rock and cave like features. The pool was surrounded by large bushes and trees full of colourful flowers which would fall in to the pool (Arjun would take a bucket around collecting the flowers!). Arjun absolutely loved it as did we. This pool worked best for us as it offered lots of shade which was especially important for Arjun. Though the pictures are gorgeous, they still do it no justice!
There were also two water slides which the others had a blast on! Arjun could spend hours watching his daddy, Nana Ji and masis go down the slide and would clap enthusiastically when they made it down wth a big splash. He even went on it a couple of times with daddy and seemed pretty unphased! Though Preetam did ensure he kept Arjun above water when they landed.
I was surprised with how much time Arjun spent in the pool as on previous holidays he’s only spent an hour or two max in total daily so I only packed one pack of swim nappies this time assuming he’d do the same. I was so wrong! He spent up to five hours each day in the pool and didn’t even have his daily nap! He loved it so much. Not sure if it was the pool itself, the fact that we had company or just that he now likes water. Either way I was super happy! He definitely became a lot more confident as the days progressed but he still dislikes getting his face wet (just like mama!).
He enjoyed jumping in to his daddy’s arms from the side of the pool, pushing the swim float (rather than sitting in it?!) and doing the actions to “row row row your boat” while in the pool. We took a baby float with us and also some zoggs swim toys as well as his beloved turtle which he was given from the hotel in Dubai on his first holiday. We also ended up purchasing a sand bucket and spade for him while there.
Pre warning swim nappies are almost impossible to find local to this hotel. We were unsuccessful in our atrempts!
The resident huge lizard would sometimes jump in to the pool to cool off too. I thought he was super cute but not everyone shared the same sentiments!
There was also a toddler pool here which is covered by shade. Arjun spent lot of his time in this pool. I saw his confidence grow in this pool as by the end of the trip he’d run up to the fountain where the pool was at its deepest (up to his chest) and stand against the wall. He loved playing with his bucket and spade and collecting flowers from the pool. We did lots of counting too which he always finds hilarious for reasons unbeknown to me! There were no lifeguards at any of the swimming pools here which means you need to be extra vigilant.
Arjun spent a lot of his time wanting to climb the stairs and slopes at the hotel – sometimes very wet ones! He’d have a major tantrum if you refused. I don’t know how or where Preetam finds the patience but I wish I had some of it! I was exhausted after doing it once or twice. They must have burnt a hell of a lot of calories!
Preetams patience and understanding of Arjun is so admirable. It makes my heart melt seeing their bond. At times I find myself getting frustrated and wound up by Arjun’s behaviour.. In his 16 months of life I’ve never seen Preetam lose it with him. He’ll always try and understand why Arjun is behaving how he is as opposed to looking at the behaviour (you can see my post on toddlers and tantrums here). Arjun is super blessed to have such an understanding dada.
It was so nice going on holiday with my family. Especially as the twins have been there since he was very small. It was good for them and his Nana and Nani to spend quality time with him. It was their first holiday with him. He became inseparable from all of them the first day we got there. So much so that he wouldn’t even go to his own daddy! For those of you that know us know that he’s generally stuck to his daddy like glue so it was quite a surprise! But it meant daddy got to enjoy some me time on holiday too.
We really loved our first holiday with my family as we got lots of help. It meant Preetam and I got to relax too. A holiday with a child is so different – long gone are the days where you can snooze by the pool! Now it’s all about ensuring your mobile toddler doesn’t fall in! Arjun became even closer to my family while we were out there – he had a daily ritual of going in to the twins room after dinner and spending hours there playing and entertaining them. He’d ball his eyes out when we bought him back in to our room for bed time. He’s super lucky to have them! His vocab reduced considerably out there to just “Nana”! Even daddy became “Nana” lol. He definitely dotes on his granddad!
He loved splashing around the pool with his masis, reading with them, colouring in with them, dancing with them, chasing them amongst all the other craziness they got up to together!
There’s an on site doctor at the hotel who is on call 24/7 which was very very comforting. I was really nervous about travelling to Bali as I’d read about how it wasn’t easy to obtain medical help if required. The doctor is based on the hotel premises and they also have medication on site at the doctor pharmacy. There is also a hospital a two minute car journey away. Thankfully we didn’t need to use either.
The hotel staff are all so helpful and friendly. I don’t have enough kind words to thank them. They were so attentive to Arjun too – especially the staff at breakfast. They were really helpful in accommodating our request for late check out (5pm) as we had an evening flight.
Bali isn’t the most child friendly place in terms of facilities. We didn’t visit a single place (hotel included), where there were baby change facilities available so it was always a challenge when out and about!
Kid’s aren’t complementary at this hotel which can be painful given he barely ate so a lot of food went to waste. That’s one thing I love about the hotel we stay at in Dubai – kid’s go free. Arjun didn’t eat as much as I’d hoped while we were out there which was a shame. He’s lost his appetite since having chicken pox. In Bali he lived off breakfast muffins, fresh fruit juice, chips, broccoli, watermelon, peanut butter and Cheetos! Odd combination but hey as long as he ate!
The hotel resides on a beach and we spent a few late afternoons there building sand castles. Arjun popped in to the sea a couple of times with his daddy but we did end up spending most of our time by the pool. My dad definitely made the most of the beach!
Arjun had lots of fun building ships and sharks with his masis and daddy. He loves sand so this was like heaven for him!
Another amazing thing to see in Bali is the water blow. We were lucky to have one just by our hotel. It was absolutely breathtaking and so magical! A must see!
Here are a few other things we got to see while in Bali.
Pamper Pamper!
While in Bali, we wanted to make the most of pamper sessions given it’s so cheap. Here are some of the places we visited:
Grand Hyatt Hair Salon: I can be a diva at times (incase you hadn’t noticed), and take any given opportunity to have my hair washed and blow dryed while on holiday. I have super thick long hair, and finding a power shower strong enough while away can sometimes be a struggle. Also, who doesn’t like having their hair done for them?! I was so happy that the hotel had their in house salon! Their sink chairs are super comfy, you get your hair washed pretty much lying down! The staff are so lovely and super friendly – Kristy didn’t believe I was married let alone have a baby haha. It was really relaxing every time I went and they give the most amazing head massages. The in house hair salon was by no means cheap, it cost £27 for a hair wash and blow dry but I was pleased with the result each time.
Tropic Spa: Bali Collection also includes some great spas. We visited Tropic Spa twice for a back massage and once for a manicure and pedicure. I suffer from upper back pain and have had massages all over the world on our travels and I can safely say this is the best massage I’ve ever had in my life. I was massages by two different ladies and the technique and consistency was exactly the same. The massage cost $10 for 30 minutes. Absolute bargain!
The same can’t really be said about the manicure and pedicure – my sisters and mum and I went to the spa for a pamper session on our last day and although we had lots of fun and giggles with the lovely ladies, we all agreed we’ve had a lot better. There wasn’t any consistency between our treatments.
Nom nom!:
One of my favourite things about going on holiday is the food! I was a little bit disappointed with the food in Bali. I imagined the food to be flavoursome and bursting with natural tastes. There were a fed hidden gems:
Pasar Senggol: This Indonesian restaurant is based at the Grand Hyatt. It’s a buffet style outdoor restaurant with gorgeous views at dinner time. The atmosphere is buzzing and there’s a street food style feel. There’s Balinese cultural dance and evening entertainment each day – I loved it as did Arj! He even had a bit of a boogie to the music and made it on to stage with his crazy Harv Masi!
The restaurant manager was super accommodating, as were the staff, in providing us with vegetarian food. They made us fried rice, noodles and BBQ’d corn on the cob especially. The Thai style potato curry was delicious and the selection of crackers was immense. The selection of dessert is also great – lots of ice cream, cakes, fresh fruit (I recommend the mango!) and Balinese desserts.
We ended up visiting here twice during our stay as we really enjoyed the atmosphere.
Queens of India: We were recommended this Indian restaurant by the restaurant manager at the Grand Hyatt. The restaurant was located about a 5 minute car journey from our hotel in Nusa Dua. The food was absolutely delicious!
We’d highly recommend the masala dosa and paneer 65. They were really accommodating in modifying dishes for us – they created paneer 65 instead of potato 65, and also a paneer dosa instead of a potato one! We went back a second time and it was packed full of tourists, locals and a private function which is always a good sign!
Salsa Verde: This is another Grand Hyatt restaurant. I absolutely loved the gorgeous setting of this place, it provided lots of home inspiration for our kitchen and extension!
Again, they were extremely accommodating here. Vegetarian lasagane wasn’t on the menu, but they were happy to make us one from scratch. I’d also highly recommend the mushroom tart – it was delicious!
This was the only restaurant we visited in Bali that had crayons and mats for children to play with – it entertained Arjun for a while which was great!
Out & About:
Bali Collection: The hotel is situated right next door to Bali Collection which is a shopping complex with restaurants and spas. We were so super lucky to have this at our doorstep and visited at least every other day for a stroll and to stock up on fruit and snacks. We were also able to pretty much purchase anything and everything from here from sunscreen to baby swim toys to snacks to clothes! If you are staying at the Grand Hyatt, don’t become too hung up on forgetting bits and pieces at home. If I’d known I wouldn’t have packed so many nappies and wipes. I didn’t see baby milk but they also had jarred food which i’d packed from home.
The souvenir shop is also amazing – it’s huge and full of all sorts. Arjun had a great time charming all the lovely shop assistants at Bali Collection by waving, shaking hands and even blowing them kisses and one lucky lady got a kiss on her hand!
I love how friendly and welcoming the people of Bali are. They are especially crazy about children. As soon as a shop attendant would spot Arjun, they’d all start shrieking and ran over to him. He loved it! He was like a little celebrity there. He got stopped by the locals too who wanted pictures with him.
Arj really enjoyed running around the shops and exploring. He’d play with toys there but was happy to leave them behind. We purchased his sand bucket and spade from here. In hindsight, had I known, I could’ve also purchased his baby float from here.
Ubud Street Markets: Ubud was about an hour and fifteen minute journey away from Nusa Dua. It was quite tiring but I’m glad we did it for the experience. Preetam decided to stay behind with Arjun at the hotel to spend some time with Arjun. I’m so glad he did because it would have been a very unpleasant experience taking a baby there – a) because of the heat, b) because navigating a buggy in between the tiny stalls would have been such a mission. It definitely isn’t impossible, but I don’t think I would have wanted to put him through that.
At the market you find lots of wood crafts, jewellery, fabric and clothing garments such as harem pants. Haggle! Make sure you haggle! – even when you think you’re getting a good deal, the likelihood is you’re probably still getting slightly ripped off but it’s all good!
I found the currency super confusing in Bali. £50 equated to 1,000,000 Indonesian rupiah. You’re dealing with huge numbers which can get pretty messy – especially when at the markets!
Ubud Local Workshops: On our way to the markets, we visited a few local workshops which was a really nice experience. We visited a wood art workshop where statues from the smallest to the largest are carved to such great intricacy. I was fascinated by the craftsmanship. This was definitely my favourite workshop.
We also visited a jewellery workshop and saw how jewellery was made by hand including earrings and necklaces – again a great level of concentration is required.
And finally we visited a fabric printing workshop where fabrics are decorated through different techniques including woven and wax print.
Temples: On our way to Ubud, we stopped off at Batuan Temple. I’m so glad we did. As we entered we were offered a piece of fabric to wrap around our waists as a sign of respect. It was nice to get involved in the cultural side. The temples in Bali are bursting with amazing architecture and intricacy. We really enjoyed being at the temple and exploring the premises.
We presented our traditional Balinese offerings (including flower petals). The temple felt really peaceful and calm. I felt balanced and reenergised despite the heat – the same feeling I get when I visit the Gurdwara.
We decided to skip the Monkey Forest as I’d read really scary reviews and wasn’t prepared to risk it. If we didn’t have Arjun, I may have taken the risk but the last thing I wanted was to get a monkey bite while away!
Overall we had an amazing time in Bali and Arjun really enjoyed himself! I hope to return one day! We met some lovely people – both staff and other visitors which made our stay even more amazing!
I’m writing this post as I sit by the pool in beautiful Bali! It’s one I’ve been meaning to write for a few weeks but haven’t had the chance to. It’s by no means a self bashing post or a husband bashing post, more a post on my current struggles with parenting. Struggles that are only going to get harder!
As much as I definitely prefer toddlerhood to babyhood, boy am I facing some real challenges! It’s also safe to say that parenting is definitely a test of your marriage at times! Haha.
I’m definitely bad cop and Preetam is good cop. We sometimes struggle to meet in the middle as one of us excuses Arjun’s behaviour down to frustration and let’s him be more free spirited whereas the other’s school of thought is “as his parents we need to guide him and channel his frustration correctly”. I worry that a difference in approach may be causing Arjun confusion where it comes to testing boundaries and what is and isn’t okay.
Preetam’s approach is to dismiss the behaviour and not give it any attention at all and at the very most distract him with something positive instead. My approach is a lot more direct and involves addressing the behaviour and try to correct it.
Preetam is a lot more relaxed than I am. I think he’s only ever used the words “no” once. I’m probably a little too harsh and he’s probably a little too relaxed – I guess together it works?!
At 16 months (going on 16 years!), Arjun seems to have an opinion and a decision on absolutely everything and once he’s made his mind up its pretty difficult to distract him. Tantrums have ranged from wanting to throw something in the bin (something which doesn’t need to be thrown like a brand new pack of wipes), to insisting on taking my spoon during dinner even though he’s accumulated a few of his own, wanting something in a store and throwing a wobble if he doesn’t get his own way.
I always feared the thought of how I’d deal with one of “those kids”. I’m definitely on the way to having one of “those kids” – a pretty normal kid I guess. I mean it’s normal for them to test boundaries, to have an opinion and to vent their frustrations. My child having a tantrum at a supermarket definitely wouldn’t be the first kid to do so and most definitely won’t be the last!
In fact it’s a good thing that he has his own personality and is head strong, it means he’ll grow up his own person. The issue is ensuring we channel it in the right way. When is the right age to do that? What is the right method? What is acceptable? And how do you reach a happy medium? It’s especially difficult as he isn’t really talking much. He uses actions to explain what he wants (whilst screaming mama or dada).
Having a sister as a nursery nurse is definitely a bonus and having several mummy friends is also helpful and I’m so grateful for them but sometimes I struggle to put in to play the advice I’ve been given. Sometimes because it’s easier to just let him have his way (defo not in the running for mother of year award then!), sometimes because I know Preetam and I approach things different and I worry about sending mixed messages and sometimes because I’m just too tired.
Here are some of the methods people have suggested and I’ve tried:
1) The naughty step. Have you tried this? We haven’t. Some people are really anti the naughty step especially at Arjun’s age as he isn’t able to understand the concept. I’m not sure what my thoughts are on the naughty step but I definitely do think he knows what he’s doing as he behaves like an angel at nursery!
My issue would be having the patience to keep him on the naughty step. It wouldn’t be easy and it’d probably end up backfiring as he’d soon learn enough screaming would mean he’d get his way (perseverance isn’t my strong point!). I don’t think this is a method Preetam would agree with as its overtly addressing the behaviour which his more my approach than his.
2) The positive words method. I’m not going to lie, sometimes the words “naughty” and “bad” do slip out. I’m often corrected by my sister who reminds me that negative word enforcement isn’t helpful and that the use of positive words is a lot more effective. It’s so bloody hard to not use negative words when a toddler has pushed you to your limit!
I try and use the words “Arjun please play with gentle hands and please don’t throw that”. So for example if he throws something in frustration, I ask him to play with gentle hands, I then hand him back the item and half the time he plays nice, the other half it turns in to a full fledge tantrum because somehow it’s my fault he threw the thing in the first place!
I do believe the use of a soft tone and positive language has an impact on how a child reacts. Being consistent and maintaining my cool is the key to mastering this but that can sometimes be difficult.
3) Ignore the behaviour. I know we all want to shine our kids in the best light, and my son is an angel most of the time (sort of), and I absolutely adore him – he keeps me entertained positively most of the time but my readers will know I’m pretty open and don’t like to sugar coat the real deal. My not so gentle handed little monster has started hitting – especially Preetam and I in the last month. It’s been super frustrating and he does it when he’s really upset.
I do believe he’s manifesting his anger and frustration but how to snap this habit is a difficult one. Have you had to deal with similar or is it just my baby?! If Arjun slaps me, I tell him “mummy’s very sad Arjun, please play with kind hands” and put him down on the floor. He usually has a full on tantrum for a minute or two but calms down after a while.
Preetam’s approach is different – he doesn’t really tell Arjun what he’s done isn’t nice. This is probably my biggest source of frustration at the moment as our approach is very different so I’m not sure if we’re sending him mixed signals. The last thing I want is him hitting anyone let alone another child! I know several of my friends have dealt with biting, but would love some advice around hitting.
4) The three strike rule. I’ve especially started to apply this rule when it comes to throwing food. He stares me right in the face and throws pieces of food one by one on the floor when he’s in a mood. This really frustrates me as he clearly doesn’t know where the boundary exists here. If he throws more than three times, I take his plate away until he calms down.
I’m definitely not saying I’m an expert in parenting – far from it and this post highlights that. Sharing such personal struggles is always difficult but it also helps me get advice from all the mummies and daddies that read my blog and is a comfort for those mummies in the same (currently sinking) boat! We will all get there!
I’m not one of those mums that keeps my child on a tight leash, but at the same time I do want him to grow up with good manners and be prepared for the real world (a world where you won’t always get your own way!). Knowing when to start instilling that behaviour and how to instil it is challenging.
If you have any advice or can relate, I’d love to hear. x
So Arjun spent his 16th month birthday in Singapore – what a lucky boy!
This month has definitely been the month of tantrums … As he’s growing up, he suddenly seems to think he’s old enough/big enough to make every decision himself and to do whatever it is he wants. It’s been challenging but it’s also been really great seeing him develop in to his own person! He’s definitely a head strong little guy … I wonder where he gets it from 😉
Here’s his 16 month update:
He’s definitely mastered his scream – he has different ones for different things
He’s such a chatter box although his vocab is pretty limited
He’s obsessed with dancing!
He loves to put things in the bin
He’s moved up a room at nursery and absolutely loves it
He now does the actions to wheels on the bus
He claps when he thinks he’s done something good
He touches his head when you sing “heads shoulders knees and toes”
He likes “fixing” things and often copies daddy
He’s obsessed with “row row row your boat” but doesn’t quite get the “gently” bit!
He says “doodoo” when he wants milk
He can now climb up on sofa (and the coffee table and the bedside cabinet!)
He regularly pinches your food (but refuses to eat his own)
He loves little babies and asks to hold them by putting his arms out
His hair is now long enough to rock different hairstyles
He now loves bath time and sort of likes brushing his teeth (yay!)
He’s currently on the Pom Bear diet
He said “satsriakal” real fast once (hello in punjabi)
He said “thank you” once
He likes to go to the park
His tantrums are now in full swing and I’m often surprised with a slap when he’s having one – hoping it’s just part of his frustration with not being able to communicate properly yet!
He’s a little copy cat now!
He’s visited his third country outside of home (Dubai, Maldives, Singapore)
He’s had his 9th flight
Likes to pour things from one cup to another (and make a mess!)
His first experience bowling – he loved it but had a tantrum when we stopped him from running down the lane!
He measures 80cm
He weighs 12kg
He’s had his first ambulance ride (and hopefully his last!) and a two trips to A&E 🙁
He likes to pour water over himself in the bath
He attended the veg fest and we ate on his behalf! Haha
He had his first trip to IKEA and loved running around but was obsessed with running back after the escalator
Don’t get me wrong, it was very rewarding gazing in to a newborn baby’s eyes knowing I’d produced him. Any time he smiled, my heart filled with warmth … and then my blissful moment was soon cut short by the sound of a little toot – oh it was gas, not a smile!
The first few months were a real struggle as I felt this was going to be my life forever. Changing, feeding and battling with a sleep fighter forever. Noone told me thats what I was signing up for. When the heck were all the fluffy fun moments going to come?! It felt pretty lonely.
Now that Arjun is 15 months old, I can safely say, I much prefer toddlerhood to babyhood and here’s why …
1) FOOD!: We can now share our food 🙂 We both have the same love for food which often means I have a little food thief on my case whenever its meal times – hey it helps with portion control!
2) New Found Independence: As he’s now fully mobile, he helps himself to snacks and fruit, he’ll grab a cushion and lay his head down if he wants a kip and he even tries to put his own socks on! Only a matter of time before he’ll be making his own lunches (and mine!).
3) Communication: I feel like I “get him” more so there’s a lot less tears but not necessarily a lot less drama! Oh and the smiles are ACTUAL smiles! The sound of his over the top laugh melts my heart. We laugh loud and uncontrollably together with our heads tipped back and our eyes glistening as we enjoy a moment giggling over the siliest things.
4) Interactive: It’s so much more fun as he’s a lot more interactive and engaging now. I always found it difficult translating new born baby babble! He’s a little chatterbox now although he only knows a few words he manages to have a full blown conversation with most! He’s very animated and seems to know what he’s on about most of the time (even if no one else does), that’s what matters right?!
5) Free Entertainment: He’s absolutely hilarious now that this huge personality is bursting out of this tiny little body. He never fails to entertain me – be it his latest dance moves, his important business phone calls or his quirky antics like trying on our shoes to name a few!
6) Packing: There’s so much less to pack when out and about! It now weighs 3/4 of a tonne as opposed to a whole tonne!
7) Routine: or lack of it. I feel like we know what we’re doing a bit more now.
8) Bond: I struggled a little as a new mummy due to PND, I feel closer than ever to Arj now. I can predict his next move pretty well! I feel like I have that “mummy instinct” that everyone harped on about before I had him.
9) He’s Walking!: For some reason this makes everything so much more fun! Going to the park now means he’s free to choose what he wants to use next, it means he can play basketball (albeit with his breakfast sausage!), he can pet the animals at the farm … the list is endless! It’s just another way for his personality to manifest as he has more freedom of choice.
10) Full of Surprises: Ok I know two points ago I said I could pretty much predict his every move, but he STILL manages to surprise us on a daily basis be it saying a new word, a little more independence like using a spoon or doing the actions to a nursery rhyme – it’s so rewarding!
I’m really enjoying toddlerhood although it comes with its own challenges!
He’s obsessed with shoes – his own and ours! He often grabs a random pair of shoes and brings them to us and walks us to the front door to tell us he wants to go out
He loves his tool bench – he places a bolt in thebench and knows to hammer it in
He lets us know when he’s hungry by pointing to his snacks
He passes me things if I point to them
He’s a pro at tabla now – even knows how to tune it himself! 😂
He’s definitely testing boundaries and definitely tantruming a lot more!
He tickles others
He likes to climb
His molars have come through
He loves to go to the park
He likes engaging in exercise – his squat form and ab rolling is on point!
https://youtu.be/oePtspkJC_I
Tissues are still his favourite snack!
He likes to sit on everything and anything! He has no concept of size or scale lol
As you may have seen from my instagram and facebook page recently, Arjun’s luscious locks have got a life of their own all of a sudden! We will be keeping Arjun’s hair like his grandfathers and his daddy for religious reasons and when he is older, he will wear a turban – the Sikh crown.
You may be wondering why Sikh’s keep their hair? I’m no self proclaimed expert in Sikhi and nor am I a perfect Sikh, but I adore my faith and the principles it beholds.
The 5 K’s in Sikhism are five articles of faith that baptised Sikh’s wear at all times as ordered by the tenth Guru, Guru Gobind Singh Ji. The 5 K’s form the external identity of a Sikh. The hair (kesh) is one of the 5 K’s (if you’d like to read up on the other K’s, you can do here).
Sikh’s keep their hair as a symbol of respect for God’s perfect creations. Throughout history, hair has been regarded as a symbol both of holiness and strength in the Sikh faith. Sikh’s believe that the hair channels strength and spiritual energy. Sikh men are distinctly recognisable by their crowns – their turbans worn to keep their uncut hair clean and tidy. Many Sikh women also wear turbans for the same reasons and as I’ve stated before, they radiate pure elegance.
I adore Arjun’s thick brown locks. To me it’s a part of his character and who he is – I don’t think I could bear to part with them! But his hair is at that stage or is quickly approaching the stage where it’s soon going to need a bit of taming. It definitely has a life of it’s own!
My curly haired monster!So like many Sikh mummies with little boys in the same predicament as me – which way do we keep their hair through that “middle” stage between baby hair and them wearing a turban when older?!
There are so many signature hairstyles that little baby boys rock – some typical of Sikh boys. I decided to get my followers involved by putting together a little light hearted montage of what some of those “middle” hair styles are. I’m sure many mummies can relate!
A big thank you to Nicky, Tanveer, Hardeep, Jagdip, Kiran, Harnam and Ameet for participating and sharing pictures of your gorgeous boys! x
1. The Famous “Telephone Wires”: This is typically a Kenyan style and one that all my cousin brothers had when they were younger! This hairstyle involves plaiting the hair on either side and using ribbon to tie them together at the back. Who said boys can’t rock ribbons?! From the front, they look like telephone wires hence the name!
Kulpreet
2. Man bun aka Joora: A hair style that I think Arjun looks adorable in but as his hair is still quite short, it isn’t one that he does often. This involves a little bun at the top of the head. How adorable is it?!
Arjun
3. Patka: This is typically done on boys with a little more hair than Arjun where a bun is tied at the top of the head and a small piece of cloth is used to wrap around the head and the bun. Check out Aval posing with his patka on :).
Aval
4. Pig tails: Boys with pig tails look absolutely adorable. They exude some kind of innocence with their hair bunched back! How cute does Aarav B look?
Aarav B
5. Pugh: These kiddos melt my heart! Donning the Sikh crown at such a young age is so admirable. A pugh makes their little cheeks look even cuter! How adorable does Bachittar Singh look?!
Bachittar Singh
6. Clip: Good ol’ kirby grips or snap clips often do the trick if you still want to showcase your little one’s gorgeous head of hair. I often pin Arjun’s hair back to push it out of his eyes. Imaan looking gorgeous with his hair pinned back at the side below!
Imaan
7. Fountain: Like a pony tail but on the very top of the head. Forget the fountain, how cute are Ekaras’ cheeks!?
Ekaras
8. Ramaal: A ramaal is a piece of material that is used to tie around the head, like a bandana. It’s different to a patka as a bun doesn’t need to be tied and it isn’t wrapped around the head in the same way. Here’s Arjun enjoying his langar at Sant Baba Isher Singh Ji’s samagam where he managed to keep his ramaal on!
Arjun
9. Pony tail: Exactly what it says on the packet! There’s the signature side pony and also the top pony. Here’s happy Aval wearing a side pony..
Aval
10. A headband: doesn’t Kulpreet look like an adorable mini Argentinean football player?!
Kulpreet
11. Free spirits: And some boys just rock their natural state! … Curly, straight, full of volume, slick!
ArjunAarav PKulpreetAarav BAval
How do you keep your son’s long locks?x
Being a MAD Blog Awards Finalist is mind boggling and so overwhelming – I’m so grateful! It would be an absolute honour to win! I’m so excited for you to continue my journey with me!
If you’ve enjoyed my blog content, then we’d be grateful for your continued support by voting for us to win the “Best Pre School Blog” category in the MAD Blog Awards, it takes 30 seconds to vote! 🙂 : VOTE HERE
1. Wooden spoon: they’re so fun to bang absolutely everything with … Even the glass coffee table!
2. Jewellery: it’s so sparkly!
3. Colourful sponges: I love all the colours and the straggly texture which sort of kind of resembles my mummy’s natural frizzy hair! Haha!
4. Shoes: Currently working on getting a pair of mummy’s glitzy heels on! #babygoals
5. House phone: always a pleasant surprise for my loved ones when they receive a call from me :). Scheduling the daily calls in can get pretty hectic amidst all my other daily tasks like sorting the bathroom out. No rest for the little!
Note from mum: he has either memorised their numbers (hardly likely given he doesn’t know his numbers) or he manages to find them through the phone book! Great going for the call that stayed connected to a random for an hour and a half though Arj!
6. Oven: the buttons are soo pressable and some of them make a sound AND there’s always food that comes out. Why wouldn’t I want to play with the oven?!
7. My jogging bottoms lace through: This keeps me entertained for hours. I like to concentrate when doing this.
8. PlayStation controller: aside from it being the perfect size to fit in my dinky hands and it having chunky buttons, it does something to the picture on the TV! I think I was born with magical powers. I always knew I was destined for big things.
9. The stairs: a giant mountain! Great work out too.
10. Handbag straps: sensory overload. Lucky mummy has a range of colours and handles! I likes chain style ones the best but leather like are the nicest to chew..!
11. Computer keyboard and mouse: And it’s always the one that mummy and daddy are working on that is the most appealing. They always try palm off some old model my way. Pstch, how silly do they think I am?!
12. Baby proofing kit: because my parents are soo caring and haven’t bothered house proofing, the baby proofing kit has now become one of my fave set of toys.
13. Socks: I generally like to have a pair of socks on me for lots of reasons. They’re a great teether, they keep my feet warm and they double up as a scarf. I rearrange my socks drawer daily. Mummy always seems to get annoyed by this, not sure why. They’re my socks!
14. Bottle of water: nothing quite as entertaining as lugging around a 2 litre bottle of water and then scrunching the bottle to make noise and then shaking it to see the water swish.
15. Clothes: so much fun pulling down mummies clothes to put over my head or throw around as a scarf!
16. The Vaja (harmonium) and the Tabla (Indian drums): I’m current working on finding a way to be able to play both at the same time.
17. Tissue paper: it doubles up as a snack too. I don’t know why my mummy gets her knickers in a twist every time I do it. It’s not like I wouldn’t be willing to share.
18. My mummy’s glasses: I think I wear them better.
19. My sippy cup: It doubles up as a sprinkler and it’s so hilarious watching the water spray on to everyone when I flick it! Hahaha
20. The TV remote and any other remote: Handy as it doubles up as a phone too.
21. The weighing scales: The numbers move when you stand on it and if you take one leg off they move again! Mummy does it all the time and she makes this face whenever she stands on it. It says 11.7 when I stand on it so that means I am 11.7 years old.
What are your favourite toys but not toys?
Arjun x
Hi, I’m Harps, an award winning blogger who shares my journey of motherhood after experiencing post natal depression and an unexpected diagnosis of Down’s syndrome. Readers have often coined my musings “relatable” and “warming”. I have gone on to turn my passion of connecting people into working with brands ranging from household names through to small businesses and sharing with my engaged audience.
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