Category: My Journey

Posted on by — 30 Comments

Arjun Has Some News …  | Pregnancy

He’s going to be a big brother! … Baby B is due January 2017 and we’re all so excited and so grateful to God for another blessing! 🙏🏼

The first week of May was a pretty great one for us this year – my best friends wedding, my birthday, finding out I’d been short listed for the MAD Blog Awards, appearing in several newspapers, being on national radio AND finding out we’re pregnant! It was really overwhelming to say the least and I am so grateful for all of God’s blessings.

It still doesn’t really feel real – it’s so different second time around with a crazy little toddler in tow! 

I’ll be doing a series of catch up blog posts (I’ve been pretty quiet the last few months!) relating to my pregnancy journey including how it’s been different, pregnancy after PND, dealing with how Arjun has taken the news and the things that make me gag (oh the list is endless!). 

I’m really excited to ride this journey with you guys and I’m sure I’ll be asking for lots of advice and guidance!

Lots of love xx

Posted on by — 4 Comments

Thank You God

Many people have asked me “what makes you happy?”. I think I’m quite a pessimist by nature and answering that question has often left me stumped and feeling really rubbish given I have so much to be grateful for.

As I sit here in Perissa, Santorini with my two boys on a black sandy beach with the glorious sun beaming, Mother Nature taking her course making music with the beautiful waves crashing against the shore in rhythm , a breath taking view and a beautiful breeze blowing to keep me cool on my sun lounger, I can hear the beautiful sound of Arjun laughing hysterically. His innocence with the dangers that something so beautiful can pose as he fights the protective embrace of his daddy to throw himself in, the fascination with life’s simple pleasures and mother natures beauty – all the things we take for granted. I watch my husband that was so stressed and uptight with juggling so much just a few days ago, play with Arjun like his worries and stresses have been lifted. Like this is his sole purpose in life. Watching such a tiny person have such a big hold over a 6ft 4 giant is amazing to me. 

The last few months have been somewhat challenging and I’ve struggled at times to find a happy place. Being away from the stresses and struggles of daily life has perhaps given me the chance to reflect. Or the chance to give Arjun a space where mummy and daddy are focused on each other, him and us.

Watching my two boys in the sea, bouncing up and down riding the waves and squealing with excitement is what makes me happy. So much so that it’s made me cry. I sit here with a big smile and tears streaming rolling off my big cheeks as I’m overwhelmed by emotion. How lucky am I? How lucky are we? What more beautiful sound is there than that of your child laugh from the pit of their belly? The little sparkle in his eye, the excitement in his tiny voice and the view of him tipping his tiny head back as he laughs so hard with his hero – his daddy.

That’s what makes me happy. Seeing my most beautiful and innocent trophy, happy. Seeing the two men in my life sharing so much love and doting on each other with no stress or tension. 
Thank you God for blessing me with everything I could ever have wished for. 

❤️


x

Posted on by — 2 Comments

To My Son on Your Second Birthday … 

What a year it’s been. Last year I seemed somewhat more aware of the passing of time. Life felt a little slower – like I had the chance to absorb what was going on around me. This last month has felt like a big blur and I can’t quite believe you’re two.

Two.

Two whole years. I’ve known you for two years and nine months. What a year it’s been. You’ve grown in to a strong willed, fun loving, God loving and caring little guy. I am so proud of you. As each day passes, you amaze me and fascinate me more than the day before. You fill the hearts of those around you and you never fail to make us smile.

You’re my first born. The one baby I will get to cherish more so than any other as you don’t have to share my time with anyone. And even then I seemed to have struggled at times. I’m so sorry Arjun. For sometimes getting my priorities mixed up. For not always playing with you when you’ve wanted me to. For not always hugging you for long enough. For not always cherishing every moment like I should. For not reading to you everyday. For not always making you the most wholesome meals. Sometimes taking you for granted. Despite all that, you really are my bestest friend. This last month has been tough for all of us with so many changes in our lives – the extension has shaken up things for all of us at home and I know I haven’t always been patient but thank you for being wise beyond your years and comforting me when I’ve needed it. I have no idea where you’ve learnt to be the little gentleman (most of the time) that you are. You are my bestest friend, my everything and I am so proud of you.

We have a lot of work to get through as we now aim to tackle the “terrible twos” but I’m ready for it – I promise to try my best to be more calm, conscious and understanding. To help you work through your daily struggles of dealing with life and not always knowing how to react and to help you to let your little personality shine through in the best way possible.

I love you so much.

Happy second birthday son xx

Posted on by — 2 Comments

Our Second (and probably last!) Appearance in a Newspaper!  

Eek! Today I was sent a picture of us in a newspaper by a school friend/blog followers, my favourite part is how they’ve cropped Arjun’s hair!
There are only a few days left to vote, I doubt we’ll win the awards based on the fierce competition but I am so grateful to have come so far and have really enjoyed our two seconds of fame!  Details on how to vote below. 
Here’s our feature in the Uxbridge Gazette: 

  

You can also view our article with Get West London. 

In case you missed it, you can still hear our radio interview from the BBC Asian Network here from 2hr 42m and you can view pictures from the day here. 

If you’ve enjoyed reading this post, then please vote for us in the MAD Blog Awards, it takes 30 seconds and here’s how: 

1) Go to http://www.tots100.co.uk/vote-in-the-2016-mad-blog-awards/ 

2) Enter your name and email address

3) Select “Baby Brain Memoirs” in the Best Preschool Blog category (third one down)

4) Scroll down and hit “Submit” 

Thank you xxx

Posted on by — Leave a comment

Our First (and Probably Last Haha!) Appearance in A Newspaper

You can check it out here: Get West London

In case you missed it, you can still hear our radio interview from the BBC Asian Network here from 2hr 42m and you can view pictures from the day here. 

If you’ve enjoyed reading this post, then please vote for us in the MAD Blog Awards, it takes 30 seconds and here’s how: 

1) Go to http://www.tots100.co.uk/vote-in-the-2016-mad-blog-awards/ 

2) Enter your name and email address

3) Select “Baby Brain Memoirs” in the Best Preschool Blog category (third one down)

4) Scroll down and hit “Submit” 

Thank you xxx

Posted on by — 1 Comment

“Mother of the Year”

“Mother”: definitely one of the most challenging titles I’ve had … the pressures from society, the looks of disapproval from your nearest and dearest, the constant guilt for the somewhat cr@ppy decisions I often end up making due to tiredness, everything else going on and dealing with a testing toddler! But it’s also the most rewarding title I’ve ever had! 

 

On the contrary, I’ve often been coined the term “super mum” (or similar) by blog followers for managing what everyone has to manage (swap a few!); work, home, blog, a busy social life, Baby Brain Apparel and a baby. I certainly don’t feel like superwoman!  My intention is never to come across that way. Truth be told, there are not enough hours in the day and managing all these bits and bobs means something ends up giving.  It can be exhausting and it often means we’re left with little family time. I have a cleaner to help with the house, I blog from my phone whenever I get a minute and I sew most evenings on top of work. 

Here’s 11 reasons why I’m definitely not going to be up for “Mother of the Year” award anytime soon …

 

1) Arj isn’t always fed Instagram friendly meals contrary to what social media may have you believe! Sometimes he has cereal for dinner! 
2) Yep there have been times where he’s gone up to 4 days without a bath although our intentions are to bathe him every other day.
3) He skips brushing his teeth more often than brushing them. At least his teddies have clean teeth?! 
4) We’re in bed before he is sometimes. We definitely failed on the regimented routine. 
5) Most of our days at home end up as PJ days. Outfit change is sometimes from PJs to PJs. 
6) He jumps in our bed in the middle of the night almost every night … And sometimes I’m too lazy to put him back. 
7) He sometimes falls asleep in the clothes he’s been wearing during the day … and I don’t wake him to change him. 
8) I am that mother that lets her son have a little treat (or 3 …). I’d be frowned upon even if that treat was raisins! I’d rather he ate in front of me than be that kid at a party that hides the food in his pockets for later!
9) Yep he’s had McDonald’s fries despite the Facebook shares of how terrible McDonalds is for you. I had it infrequently when younger and I’m still alive.
10) More often than not, my house looks the same in the morning as it did the night before.

11) We don’t read everyday – this one I feel pretty awful about. 

  

  

Yes, I may not be winning any awards, I’m totally winging it, but he’s a happy baby (most of the time) and that’s all that really matters to me. No matter what decisions you end up making, someone somewhere will tell you why it’s not the right one. So do what you please for your family, after all, we’re all superwomen/men. So just in case someone forgets to tell you today, from one mother to another, you’re doing a bloody amazing job!x

If you’ve enjoyed reading this post, then please vote for us in the MAD Blog Awards, it takes 30 seconds and here’s how: 

1) Go to http://www.tots100.co.uk/vote-in-the-2016-mad-blog-awards/ 

2) Enter your name and email address

3) Select “Baby Brain Memoirs” in the Best Preschool Blog category (third one down)

4) Scroll down and hit “Submit” 

Thank you xxx

Posted on by — 2 Comments

Baby Brain Memoirs (Inc Arjy) on BBC Asian Network with The Real Nihal

Today I was invited to the BBC Asian Network for our first ever radio interview with The Real Nihal. 
I was so nervous on the build up to it – what if I said something wrong? What if I had mental block? What if I sounded silly? 
Wow oh wow, I’m totally blown away by the response we’ve had! It was such a brilliant experience and we all had so much fun as well as raising awareness on such important issues such as Post Natal Depression. Arjy even shared his baby babble opinion – he was definitely a star 😉  

Nihal totally put me at ease and was such a lovely guy. He totally showered Arjun with lots of love. 

I feel so humbled and blessed for the opportunity and the response we’ve had from the blog and the interview. It’s always extremely nerve wracking opening up your life to the world but as I said in my interview, I’m glad the blog has ended up serving a far greater purpose than I first intended – just a journal for me! So much love to you all x
Here are some pictures of our day along with a link to the interview which will be live for the next 28 days. 

    

          
   
   
    

   
 

 
You can hear the recording here from 2hr 42m. 

A HUGE HUGE thank you to my family, friends. And a special shoutout to my beautiful followers for all your support always, for sharing your journey with me and for helping me through mine! A big thank you for those that texted in xx

If you haven’t voted for us in the MAD Blog Awards already, please do, it takes 30 seconds and here’s how: 

1) Go to http://www.tots100.co.uk/vote-in-the-2016-mad-blog-awards/ 

2) Enter your name and email address

3) Select “Baby Brain Memoirs” in the Best Preschool Blog category (third one down)

4) Scroll down and hit “Submit” 

Thank you xxx

Posted on by — 2 Comments

OMG I’m A MAD Blog Awards “Best Pre School Blog” Finalist & What A Journey It’s Been! Here’s How To Vote For Us To Win!

Hi everyone,

 

Wow oh wow! I am so overwhelmed and so shocked! Out of over 8,000 amazing bloggers, I have been shortlisted as one of just SIX (6?! Out of a whole 8,000!) finalists in the Best Pre School Blog category for the Mum & Dad (MAD) Awards 2016! It still hasn’t quite hit me!

img_0270-1

If you’ve enjoyed my blog content, and would like to skip straight to voting, then here’s how: 
1) Go to  MAD Blog Awards Voting

2) Enter your name and email address

3) Select Baby Brain Memoirs from the drop down for Best Preschool Blog category (third one down) 

4) Scroll down and hit submit 

 

When I first started blogging, never in my wildest dreams did I even consider awards, I didn’t even think anyone would read my random ramblings let alone be recognised for an AWARD! And then get interviewed by the BBC, appear in Get West London, get a mention on Desi Radio and appear in the Uxbridge Gazette! 

 

I initially started my blog (as the name may state) because of my poor memory. Baby brain is no myth! Things were changing on a daily basis and everything seemed like a big blur – it still does to be honest. I wanted to start a blog for myself, as a keepsake, a diary, a journal for me and my baby. Something to document our memories, my feelings, and my emotions. Something I could read back on and feel nostalgic. Something that Arjun will probably cringe at when he’s older! Haha!

 

I struggled with Post Natal Depression (PND) in my early days, glimpses of it still appear today. I struggled with my confidence, with not feeling what I perceived a mother should feel. I have found the biggest outcome of my blog has been the therapy it has provided me to overcome so many hurdles and face so many challenges. The people I have met through the blog have become a part of my life – my blogging family and many of my followers that have reached out to me have filled me with the support and encouragement to want to try and tackle my “issues” head on.

 

I’ve received so many messages from blog followers on how my experiences have helped them. I didn’t think my blog posts would ever get read, and even when I write today, I try and write for myself and zone out that thousands of people a month read my blog. That thought alone is so overwhelming. Every single message I have received means so much to me. Knowing that people have taken comfort in my words, however rubbish or great I may have been feeling that day, is a feeling that I can’t describe. I’ve been told my writing style is raw, real and honest but I also seek silver linings and come across as approachable and considerate. I hope so.

 

My blogs not always all serious and deep! I’ve been able to document some pretty hilarious and fun stuff too. Like Arjun’s tantrums, his first birthday party – the biggest I’ve ever planned!, and also our travelling adventures and how each and every flight and destination has offered us with such differing experiences. My little jet setting bambino has travelled to Dubai (twice), Singapore, Bali, Maldives and Abu Dhabi!

 

I’ve been lucky enough to have worked with some amazing brands including Quorn, The Gro Company , Younique and UDI’s. An opportunity that I never would have imagined.

 

Being a Brit-Asian mum often means that certain topics are left hidden behind closed doors. I’ve delved in to some of those topics in what I hope has been a respectful manner. I did receive the odd comment about “why do you need to tell the world that”. My response was “why not”? I’m so glad I did, because I’ve received hundreds of messages of support and encouragement and have also given comfort to others in a similar situation especially where I’ve touched upon taboo topics in the Asian culture on real issues such as things like PND – aired, perhaps considered a sign of weakness. I want to normalise such topics and bring awareness – having the help and support to get through things like PND can make or break you and it’s important to talk. Just knowing you are not alone can often provide a huge sense of relief.

 

I’ve taken my readers on my journey of wanting to educate Arjun on Sikhism – to teach him the fundamental teachings of sharing, working hard and remembering God and remaining humble always. Basically being a good human being! He’s developed his own quirkly relationship with God and it’s melted the hearts of many.

 

Having posted a few of Arjun’s meals on Instagram and Facebook, I received a flood of messages asking me to share recipes. Many other vegetarian mummies out there sought something a little different. I’m not very creative in the kitchen but this forced me to get thinking about our vegetarian weaning journey. I’ve shared many vegetarian baby food recipes such as cheese and onion eggless quiche and eggless vegetable muffins as well as general recipes too including my yummy chilli paneer, and a to die for Nutella cookie dough to name a few!

 

Most of all, people from all around the world have fallen in love with Arjy’s antics through the blog, Instagram, Facebook and YouTube. He’s helped me become a stronger person, better myself and has helped me to become the best mummy I possibly can be to him. I’m still learning but having him hold my hand through every step of the way has made me stronger and stronger. Each tiny hurdle is a huge achievement for me.

 

I’ve surpassed my own expectations with my blog and I’m super proud of it. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoy writing!

 

As well as being a Finance Manager by trade and spending much of my “free” time blogging, Baby Brain Memoirs also led to the start of my mummypreneurship by launching Baby Brain Apparel. I realised quite quickly that many of Arjun’s quirky antics were relatable to many mums and with this was born my quirky hand designed tees with slogans such as “Milk Drunk” “Food Thief” and “Sleep Fighter”! I also hand make baby and mummy leggings in fun and vibrant fabrics. I often get asked how on earth I manage to juggle everything – the answer in short is, I haven’t got a clue!

 

As you’ve probably gathered, my blog is a lot deeper than what it may first appear. It’s helped me overcome and try and deal with so many issues and has enabled me to help others along the way, I still have a long way to go! I love blogging, it’s a passion. Being a MAD Blog Awards Finalist is mind boggling and so overwhelming – I’m so grateful! It would be an absolute honour to win! I’m so excited for you to continue my journey with me!

 

If you’ve enjoyed my blog content, then we’d be grateful for your continued support by voting for us to win the “Best Pre School Blog” category in the MAD Blog Awards, it takes 30 seconds to vote! 🙂 : VOTE HERE

 

The other amazing bloggers in my category include:

My Milo & Me

The Adultier Adult

The Parent Crap

The Sun Will Come Up

Just a Normal Mummy

Thank you thank you thank you! x

 

Harps & Arjy x

Domesticated Momster
Posted on by — 1 Comment

31 Things I’m Grateful for on My 31st Birthday

It’s crazy how a year has flown by. I remember this time last year sitting on the decking of our beautiful water villa watching the gorgeous sun rays bounce of the crystal blue sea in the Maldives as I wrote my 30 Things I’m Grateful for blog post to reflect on the year that had just passed. This years view is not too bad either – I’m so grateful that the gorgeous sun is shining!

It’s funny how birthdays have changed for me. Where before it’d be all about celebrating and making a fuss, now it’s about counting my blessings. A day for reflection. I feel like today should really be a celebration for my mum – she’s the one that gave birth to me and after Arjun’s birth, I’ve realised how much a mother goes through for her children.

Here’s my 31 things I’m grateful for (in no particular order) on my 31st birthday (OMG 31?! I still act 21!) …

1) My mum. There are no words. Becoming a mother myself has made me respect you so much more. It’s so crazy to think that you too once upon a time were a young girl embarking on the journey of motherhood with a baby, me. You too would have felt some of the emotions, the struggles but equally the joy a baby brings. I am eternally grateful to you mum – you are my strength in my daily life. I take so much reassurance from you. Thank you for your continuous prayers for all your children. I look up to you and hope I can be even half the mother you are to me, to Arjun.

  

2) My Arjun. You fill my heart with love and warmth everyday and although my early days were a struggle and I never felt that “connection” straight away, every single day my love grows for you. You’ve helped me develop so much as a person. Your patience through my struggles, your hand holding while jumping hurdles with me and your beautiful personality make me so proud and overwhelmed to call you mine. You are my knight in shining armour. 

    

  

3) My title, “Mother”. I’m honoured, blessed and eternally grateful to have the title. Especially to Arjun. I pray daily and hope that every woman that has a desire to, is blessed with the same.

  

4) My body. It may not be perfect, I may have stretch marks, a keloid scar, some excessive weight post baby, but I wouldn’t change it for the world. There is so much more to life than worrying about a little bit of extra weight. I am blessed with health. 

5) My Husband. For everything. You work so hard and put your heart and soul in to providing us with the most beautiful life. Arjun is incredibly lucky to have you as his father – one that dotes on him 24/7. There are no words. We are both eternally grateful to you. Thank you thank you thank you.

  

  

6) My best friends, my sisters. I am eternally grateful to you both. We may fight and scream but I am so grateful to have you both as second mothers to Arjun. What you have done for me, I will never be able to repay you for and I count my blessings every single day.

  

7) My soul sister, my big sister, Amrit. For riding through each and every stage of my life with me. I have never met someone that is so in sync with me. For holding my hand no matter what. For always being honest – even when it may hurt. For your patience. For riding my journey with me and letting me ride yours with you. For being an inspiration with your huge warm giving heart. I thank God for bringing Nake in to your life – a true gentleman who deserves you.

 

8) The weather. Thank you God for making it a sunny and happy day today. I’m grateful for the weather everyday. Although sometimes the rain may be an inconvenience for us humans, nature needs it. For that I am grateful.

9) Baby Brain Apparel. I’m so grateful to my customers, followers, my supporters and to God for blessing me with success.

  

10) My Mother in Law and Father in Law. For always getting me out of tight situations (haha!). For always dropping everything for us and for being so patient with Arjun. You are so inspirational to us in how much you do for others. We are blessed to have you.

  
11) Holidays. I am so grateful that we have been able to travel so much in the last year; Singapore, Bali, Abu Dhabi. We have been able to create so many beautiful memories as a family.

  

12) My best friend, my personality twin, Sav. For listening to the trivial things in life and letting me rant. For always being honest with me. For coming through for me when I feel stranded. For being who you are – often misunderstood like me but always doing your best to please others. For showering Arjun with so much love. I wish you all the happiness in the world. 

  

  

13) The Gurdwara. For being my safe haven. The place where I go to rebalance. The place that brings me peace.

  

  

14) My hero, my father. Thank you dad for your love and patience always. For your endless prayers. For your education on so many things in life – Sikhi, property, life, meditation. For being my daily inspiration to be cool and calm. I always tell your story about the match stick burning itself before setting fire to anything or anyone else. Thank you daddy for always dropping everything for us girls. We are so blessed to have you as our father, you have never held back in providing for us in the best way in your power at any given time.

  

15) Our house. I am so so grateful to have the house of our dreams at such a young age thanks to the almighty and Preetam’s hard work.

16) Sikhism. For providing me with a foundation to bring my son up with; to encourage him to share, work hard and remember God always. 

  

  

17) Kirtan. Not only does kirtan provide me with peace and is food for my soul. It has the same impact on Arjun. I am so grateful for that. It has helped me get through life and I hope it does the same for him.

18) Social media. For enabling our journey to reach thousands and help others each month through facebook, instagram and Twitter. For helping the growth of my business.

19) My sister in law, Mané and brother in laws. We have so much fun together. I’m so grateful that I was blessed with such a fun loving family who also shares my love for food! Haha! 

20) My friends. The friends I don’t get to speak to often but I know we pick up where we left from. I am grateful to each and every one of my girlfriends – you each bring something so unique and beautiful in to my life.

21) Our extension. I am grateful that it will be starting soon and we will have a dining table.

22) My blogging besties. Especially Rod  for all your support and encouragement always! And Jenny for just being you. 

23) Peppa Pig. I never thought you’d make my final cut but actually, you’ve taught my son some good things (as well as some not so good things!) but you also baby sit my son when I need five minute of me time. Thank you. Oink.

 

24) Water. For always quenching my thirst.

25) My NCT friends. For being my safe place to talk about everything and anything. For the love and understanding you’ve provided me when things haven’t always been great. We’re a unique bunch and our bond will last forever I hope!

26) My Nani, Masis and Mami Ji. For showering Arjun with nothing but love always. He’s so blessed to have not 1, but 6 Nanis as well as a great grandma. 

  

  

27) Arjun’s cousins. I’m so grateful that he has so many little cousin siblings to grow up with. Each and everyone of them fill my heart with so much joy.

  

  

28) My wonderful loving followers. Many of which have become like an ever growing virtual family. I’m so grateful to each and everyone of you that has taken out the time to read my posts, like our pictures, message me, introduce yourselves to us if you’ve ever spotted us and for always supporting us. We love you all so much. 

29) Nutella. Just because.

30) For being shortlisted as a finalist in the “Best Preschool” blog category out of over 8,000 blogs. I am so grateful to every single one of you that nominated me. If you’d like us to be in with a chance to win, you can vote at the bottom of this blog post.   It would be an honour to win. 

  

31) To God. For all of the above. For everything. For blessing me, my family and my friends with so much happiness over the last year. For always doing things at the right time.

If you’ve enjoyed my blog content, then we’d be grateful for your continued support by voting for us to win the “Best Pre School Blog” category in the MAD Blog Awards, it takes 30 seconds to vote! 🙂 : VOTE HERE

 

Thank you thank you thank you!
I’m off to celebrate baby free with my husband now!x 

Posted on by — 4 Comments

What a C Section Meant for Me

 I’ve been meaning to write this post for ages and given its C Section Awareness Month, I figured now would be a good time to put it together. 

If you’ve read my birth story, you’ll know I ended up having an emergency C section after a 84 hour labour due to a failed induction – something which isn’t very common so please don’t panic!

I always assumed C sections were the slightly “easier” method of delivering a baby. It meant you didn’t have to go through hours of pushing, someone else did the hard part for you, you didn’t have to worry about tears (ha ha), you knew baby would be out within a few minutes.

This is not a post to scare those about to give birth at all. This is about my experience.

  I’ve heard really different C section stories just like I’ve heard many different natural labour stories. Everyone’s birth is its own. Though I do wish someone had shared the below with me so I was a little more prepared and so were the people around me.

Based on those around me, I think it’s fair to say the process of natural labour is probably physically “harder” than the process of delivering your baby through a C section in terms of having to go through contractions, the pushing and all the other energy required. I guess that’s where the term “labour” comes from! However, generally, assuming we’re comparing to a smooth natural labour, I think the recovery time for a C section is much longer. A lot of my family and friends have bounced back pretty quickly from a natural labour. 

I was pretty narrow minded and naive where it came to C sections. I had this great plan that didn’t even consider a C section birth though I was very open minded – ultimately I just wanted my baby to be safe. I really really wanted to deliver naturally – I tried so so hard. 

Before having my C section, I didn’t think …

  • That I’d need staples AND stitches and that I’d feel each and every one of them with any slight movement. Most people have either or, not sure how I ended up with both! Stitches dissolve but staples need to be removed – lucky I had my mummy to hold my hand during that. It actually wasn’t as bad getting them removed as it was living with them! 
  • Having had a fractured skull and major surgery on my head, I didn’t think I’d ever suffer with pain any worse. I was wrong. But I do believe that the pain was heightened because of how tired my body was from the 84 hour labour. I’m not sure a stand alone section would have been as difficult. 
  • The baby would be out within 30 seconds of me getting in to theatre and I’d feel all the pulls and tugs … It wasn’t as bad as it sounds. As I had an emergency section, it all happened so fast. I’ve heard with a planned section, it’s a lot calmer and you don’t feel as much. 
  • The recovery time would take so long. I always assumed you’d be stitched up and “ok” within a few days.  It took me a while to recover and up to my third week I needed assistance getting up, walking, going to the bathroom and showering. It was disheartening, especially as I no longer recognised my body (that’s not me in the picture above!). I was lucky to have the support I did. 
  • The recovery would affect me in ways I never imagined. I’m used to being a control freak. I had no control. I physically struggled to move. I felt helpless and I really hated it. I was so mentally prepared to be a mum (so I thought). I wanted to care for my baby and get to know him, I felt like I struggled to do that in my early days and it impacted me massively later.  I really believe this was a contributing factor to my PND.
  • I could love my sisters and family more than I already did. My sisters changed Arjun’s nappies before I did. They came through for me more than I could ever have imagined but I’m grateful for it as their bond is stronger than ever. 
  • I’d ever see my husband cry the way he did. He cried for days after. I’d never seen him cry before. I guess I can’t appreciate what he must have gone through –  I slipped in to unconsciousness straight after Arjun was delivered and Arjun was prized off Preetam quickly as his temperature dropped. For him, “his world fell apart” at that moment. I can’t even begin to imagine how that felt but the amount of love and support he showed me, I will never forget.
  • There would be over 10 people present in theatre. I always assumed it’d be a couple of people. Again my nativity around what a big procedure it is. 
  • I’d not get to have prolonged cuddles with my newborn because I was so sick after an exhausting labour and then fell unconscious.  I’d meet my baby 4 hours after he was born … I had plans. Plans like every new mum. I had plans to recite paat (prayers) with him the moment he was born. I didn’t get to do any of that till a whole while later.
  • It would be so cold! It wasn’t a relaxing experience lying there having the “hard work done for me” – it was pretty scary and cold. I found out after theatres are always cold to avoid surgeons sweating (gross!) on to the patient. I’d never known that as I was always knocked out for past surgeries. You’re generally not put to sleep for a section.
  • That some would make me feel like less of a mother by not going down the natural route – I tried. I failed. But I still gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. We are all heroes and amazing for carrying a tiny human for 9 whole months and bringing them in to this world – be it through the conventional route or an alternative one.
  • That the time to stitch you up is much longer than the operation itself. I had never though about how serious and major a C section was. They go through seven layers to get to your precious baby. Seven layers. Muscles, nerves, fat. SEVEN friggin layers!
  • I’d need to reserve a drawer for painkillers AND laxatives!! Any kind of motion was so painful, needing the toilet was something I tried so hard to avoid.
  • That it would be deemed that I took the “easy route” – actually, I went through the whole process of natural labour, only to be told my little monkeys head was too high. All 84 hours of it. And even if I hadn’t, a C section shouldn’t be underestimated.
  • My breastfeeding journey would end after a mere 3 weeks and I would never get to solely breastfeed. Because I was poorly straight after, Arjun’s first feed was formula. Preetam was so supportive and suggested that if I wanted to try breastfeeding to do so during the day so he could do the nights so I was able to rest and recover. 
  • That my scar would forever feel tingly
  • I’d end up with a keloid scar – something that I’ve struggled with. Let’s face it, I hardly have a beach body, but having a thick purple raised (by about 0.5cm) scar doesn’t always instilling me with confidence but I’m still grateful that the scar on my head didn’t turn in to a keloid one as apparently my skin is prone to it!

I didn’t fully appreciate the nature of C sections and what it would mean for me. I also know there is a big difference between a planned C section and an emergency one based on what others ave been through both. Everyone’s body is different, everyone’s recovery is different the same as with a natural labour. Ultimately, I delivered a happy and healthy baby and that’s all that really mattered. 

My scar is a reminder of my strength, my ever residing pouch (though the excuse is wearing thin!!) is a reminder that I carried a child inside me for 9 months and as for my stretch marks, I’m a tiger who earnt my stripes!

  

This is just my experience of a C section. I don’t regret the way my labour went as from it I learnt so much and it also meant others got the chance to spend more time with Arjun in his early days more so than they may would have had things gone to plan. I’m eternally grateful for my family and the amazing staff at the hospital – some of which I’m still in touch with!

P.s, as you may or may not know,  out of over 8,000 amazing blogs, I have been short listed for the MAD Blog Awards 2016 Finals in the “Best Preschool Blog” category!! 

The winner will now be chosen based on the public vote and announced at the awards ceremony later on in the year. I will be most grateful for your continued support if you could spare a minute to please vote for me and my superstar here in the “Best Preschool Blog” category if you’ve loved following our journey. It takes less than 30 seconds!

You can VOTE HERE

Thank you thank you thank you! 

 x

Tots100